07/06/2025
My Son’s Unique World
(A mother’s tribute to her autistic son)
His smile beamed with delight
When he caught a glimpse of me.
But it quickly faded—
A grin turned to a frown.
I knew I had let him down.
“Why are you late, Mommy?”
He speaks like an old man
Trapped inside a little boy’s frame.
*Bobbies! Bobbies!*
“What do bobbies mean, baby?”
He would only smile—
He has his own language.
*Big stomach! Big stomach!*
Repeating, again and again
Like a tape recorder.
*Beautiful Mommy! Beautiful Mommy!*
Again, again...
I asked,
“Why did you keep on telling me that I am beautiful, dear?"
" Because you have beautiful face and smooth skin", Janssen answered, with a cute smile.
Most of the time he rubs his face on my knees.
Quite a bizarre act, but I understand.
That’s my son—
Ten years old now.
So sweet.
So gentle.
So wonderfully unique.
One day, his teacher asked,
“Ma’am, please talk to Janssen...
Did he really kiss his classmate?”
I asked him," Is it true that you kissed your classmate?"
“Why did you kiss her, anak?”
“She’s pretty, Mommy!”
“But you can’t just kiss someone.”
“Is it wrong, Mommy?”
Such innocence.
I had to explain the world clearly.
He lined up his toys.
Perfectly.
“Don’t touch!”
Disturb them—and the lion roars.
*Virgo, Virgo! Pisces, Pisces!*
Patterns, symbols, signs.
And then the whispers come:
“Have you noticed anything?”
“Does he have behavioral problems?”
Yes.
He has *Autism Spectrum Disorder.*
*Speech delay and Seizure Disorder.*
Diagnosed by experts.
*Farting, farting!*
Words on repeat.
His joy—so pure.
Hands flapping,
Sounds mimicked,
Cars, songs, rhythms—
A world his own.
He can read.
He can sing.
He can dance
With drums he made himself.
He follows online drawings,
He interchanges pronouns.
“Mommy, where is the front of my shirt?”
“Mommy, how do I fix these buttons?”
“Please help me!”
“No, anak... you can do it.
You need to be independent.
You’re a big boy now.”
Every day—
Simple tasks.
Small lessons.
Endless patience.
He dreams of being an engineer.
He builds bridges with blocks.
“Mommy, I want to go to Japan!”
“Why, anak?”
“To buy Tomica cars!”
“You can find them at the mall.”
“But the designs I like—
They’re made in Japan!”
I giggled softly.
He’s already planning:
“Mommy, I’ll build a boat,
So the shark won’t eat me!”
I burst out laughing.
“Mommy, I love you so much.”
I pretended not to hear—
Just to feel his warm embrace.
Then, gently he said,
“Mommy, don’t break my heart.”
“Baby, I’m your Mommy.
I will never break your heart.”
And laughter filled the house.
But he is often sick.
Asthma.
Bronchitis.
Pneumonia.
Severe skin allergies.
Dengue.
Epilepsy.
Foot and Mouth Disease.
His skin—scarred by rashes.
Itching through the night.
Medications help—
But the itchiness returns.
Seeing it for months that even dermatologist failed to cure.
School performance drops.
But that doesn't matter.
I only want him healed.
Take my strength, Lord—
Give it to my son.
“Mom, when can I eat chocolate?”
“When can I eat eggs and chicken?”
And he pretends—
“Hmmm! Yummy!”
Savoring flavor
In the world of imagination
Where nothing is forbidden.
Thanks to immunotherapy!
He suffered for six months, but immunotherapy works for him in two days!
A miracle indeed!
I wonder about his future.
What if one day
God calls me to His Kingdom?
Who will protect him
From bullying,
From laughter,
From judgment?
Who will remind the world
That *he belongs*?
Only God knows His plans.
But I trust them.
Because I know—
God loves him.
And I pray:
*May all children like him
Be protected.
Be embraced.
Be respected.*
Let’s build a world
Where every child—
Every spectrum,
Every sound,
Every smile
Every stimming—
Is understood.
And loved.
Let’s support them
In our own little way.
©All rights reserved.
Annalyn G. Mercado
Philippines
Revised:
June 7, 2025
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