IT'S ME NEJ

IT'S ME NEJ 🌼 We only get one shot at this life. No rewinds, no do-overs — just chances to laugh, love, and live without regrets. 🌼

15/09/2025

Regrets in My Life

Since I was a child until now, I have let so many opportunities slip through my fingers. I deeply regret turning them down — if I hadn’t, my life wouldn’t be this constant struggle of “one day’s food, one day’s hunger.”

Way back in elementary days I always won the singing contests and even represented the school division. Because of my talent, our principal offered to pay for voice lessons, but I refused out of fear I would be far from my parents.

Later, when I started working as an office secretary, my boyfriend and I worked in the same office. My boss saw potential in me and offered to sponsor my studies abroad and put me in charge of their businesses — many of their children already had their own enterprises. But there was one condition, I had to break up with my partner. I foolishly chose love. I stayed with him even though I knew his earnings weren’t enough. We had a child and still struggled. Eventually our relationship failed and we separated.

I then found work at a pet shop,. And I'm in a new relationship that time with a le***an.. Our relationship lasted a long time, but one day he asked me to resign so we could go into business together. Not wanting to be apart from her, I agreed. We started a business, but it seemed only she profited from it — I didn’t even touch a single cent. After time, our relationship went through trials and ended in separation. I was the one who suffered while she enjoyed the money we had made.

My greatest regret is that I turned down so many chances because of my own foolishness and stupidity. If I had grabbed even one of those opportunities, my life might be different now. I cry when I look at my children because this isn’t how I wanted their lives to be. If I had been more successful, they could have had whatever they wanted, good food, and nice house. I wish I could undo my life, but I can’t — it’s too late. Now I can only live with regrets..

03/09/2025

I want to be honest about myself. I am an overthinker, and sometimes it feels like my own mind is working against me. I replay every word, every action, and every moment, trying to understand if things are real or if I’m being hurt again.

My problem is, if I love someone, I love them completely—without any pretension, without any doubt. Even if I see red flags, I tend to ignore them because my heart wants to believe in love and trust. But because of what I went through in my past relationship, it’s difficult for me to truly believe even when someone tells me the truth. I can’t remove the thought that maybe they are just playing with me or might hurt me like before.

I don’t want to be like this. I want to trust, to feel safe, and to love without fear. I need to be understood. I need my feelings to be validated. I need security because my heart has been hurt, and it’s still learning to heal.

I’m not making excuses for overthinking. I just want you to know why I am like this. I love deeply, and my fears come from caring too much and from past pain.

17/08/2025

An Open Letter About Myself

On the outside, people see me smiling. They see me laughing, joking, and making others happy. They think I am fine, maybe even strong.

But the truth is, when I am alone, I am not okay. The sadness inside me is too heavy, and sometimes I just want to disappear. Nobody really knows the pain I’m hiding because I keep it locked inside. Only I know about it.

I don’t share it with anyone, because I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want people to think I am weak or too dramatic. So I smile, I laugh, I pretend. And everyone believes I am happy.

But deep inside, I am crying. Deep inside, I am breaking.

This is who I am—the person who hides sadness behind a smile, the one who makes others feel better while I am quietly falling apart.

Maybe one day, someone will see the truth. But for now, I carry it alone.

16/08/2025

My Painful Story

When I fall in love, I give everything. I don’t know how to love halfway—I always give my whole heart, even if it means losing myself. I become blind, I ignore the red flags, and I tolerate things I should never accept. I endured pain—physically, emotionally, and mentally—because I thought that maybe this was what love is supposed to be. I gave until I had nothing left, and still they kept taking, using my love as their advantage.

I stayed, not because I was truly happy, but because I was afraid. Afraid that if I left, nobody would love me. Afraid that being alone meant I was unworthy. So I accepted the abuse, the lies, the pain, and I told myself it was love. Deep down, I was dying inside, but I thought I couldn’t escape.

Now I am single and free. I finally broke away from that toxic life. But even though I am free, the scars are still with me. The trauma keeps repeating in my mind like an old wound that refuses to heal. I am afraid to fall in love again, because what if the same story happens to me once more? What if I end up broken all over again? Sometimes I feel like I am not lucky in love, like I was born only to give and never to receive.

But in my heart, I am still praying and hoping. Hoping that one day I can find a man who will treasure me, who will see my worth, who will not take advantage of my love but will show it back to me with the same depth and sincerity. I pray that I will meet someone who will heal the wounds that others have left, someone who will stay, someone who will prove to me that real love exists.

For now, I carry both the pain of my past and the hope for my future. I may be broken, but I am not destroyed. And one day, I believe the right love will find me.

16/08/2025

Sometimes I ask myself, why is life so unfair and cruel to me? No matter how hard I work, no matter how much I sacrifice, I still remain poor, just like before. I grew up in a family who had almost nothing, and until now, I am still that same girl from the mountains—tired, surviving, and holding on.

I know what it feels like to be hungry. I know what it feels like to pretend I am fine even when my heart is breaking. I know what it feels like to work hard and still end up with so little, while others seem to have everything without struggle. Life has tested me in so many ways, and there were times I felt like giving up. But something inside me keeps pushing me forward, even when I feel too weak to continue.

I often look back at my childhood and remember how simple my dreams were. All I wanted was a better life—for myself, for my family, and for the people I love. I wanted to escape the poverty that chained us, to see a future where I no longer had to worry about food, money, or survival. But the truth is, the journey has been harder than I ever imagined.

Still, despite the pain and exhaustion, I am proud of myself for not letting go. I may still be the same girl in the mountains, poor and struggling, but I am stronger now. Every hardship has taught me lessons, every tear has watered my courage, and every sleepless night has reminded me of how much I want to change my life.

I don’t know when my dreams will come true, but I hold on to hope. Because even if life is unfair, even if the world seems cruel, I believe that one day, I will rise above this. I may be poor today, but I carry a rich heart filled with strength, faith, and determination. And I will keep fighting until the day comes when I can finally say, “I made it."

07/08/2025

"Instead of judging someone’s appearance, try looking at your own reflection. You might see more flaws in attitude than looks."

07/08/2025

Sometimes the real toxicity isn’t in others—it’s in the way you treat them.

07/08/2025

"Don’t judge someone by their home. A small house can hold a heart bigger than any mansion ever could."

07/08/2025

“The moment you stop letting them use you, you become the problem. Ungrateful people always show their true face when you set boundaries.”

17/10/2024

"Just caught a glimpse of nature's masterpiece—the mesmerizing beauty of the mirror of the world. Every reflection tells a story, and every ripple dances with magic. Let’s cherish these breathtaking moments! 🌍✨

06/10/2024

Love is patient, but what happens when the one you love belongs to someone else? Would you still wait, knowing that true love is worth the wait?

06/10/2024

I am a girl who believes in love and kindness, even when your actions may raise red flags. I see the good in you and choose to love you unconditionally.

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