22/09/2024
I AM NOT FOR EVERYONE. And that's okay.
The older I get, the more I realize that there will always be people who will find my existence doubtful or unappealing.
As much as I would like to be an "available person" to most, I just simply can't. Not because of my inability to cope, but because I am not supposed to.
I tried to be that guy who pleases everyone for the sake of a simple acknowledgement. I liked the feeling of being seen. On and on, I groveled for attention until I didn't anymore. I stopped trying when I realized that I can't be everyone's favorite person.
I will NEVER be everyone's favorite person.
But I could be SPECIAL to someone.
I found out that there will be those who would take time knowing me more. At this point, I am pretty sure there are only a few of them. But you know what's more important?
They're genuine.
They're present.
They make time.
And I am lucky to come across these people who would randomly message me with memes, words of encouragement, updates about their lives and heartfelt messages without me even asking for it. And I love it.
The older I grew, the easier it became for me to accept that I only need a few people people in my life to sustain the warmth to keep myself alive.
And to those people,
Thank you.
-duncan
