08/01/2024
I used to be so understanding, no matter how much people would hurt me. I used to accept different kinds of disrespect and pain and then forgive them afterwards. Yes, I used to be so forgiving and kind, even to those who didn't deserve me. It was just fine before, since I thought that keeping my hatred and pain would give everyone peace. I'm sure that they will like it that way. It's nice to treat people well, knowing that I am not hurting anyone and not even daring to make someone feel sad. Most people say that I should stay kind and that I should just let some people be who they are because if they do something bad to me, they say that it's a reflection of their attitude, not mine. I was told to be silent when I'm angry. I was told to keep my feelings to myself because nobody wants to hear my drama. I was told to stop explaining my side or sharing my stories because they would never care. I was told to understand everyone before myself. I was told to remain gentle with people even after I was brutally hurt. And most importantly, I was told that I should forgive people over and over again because they are just humans and they make mistakes. For a very long time, I felt like I did not have the right to be hurt or to be angry because I am a good person. I chose to give everyone peace while letting them ruin mine. And it's just so sad to see myself being destroyed by the ones who took advantage of my good heart.
Being kind is okay, but tolerating everyone to hurt me just because I am a good person will never be okay. I realized that being so forgiving doesn't give anyone the right to treat me poorly. My hatred, sadness, pain, and all the heavy emotions I feel are valid. I can now fully understand that kindness should also have some limitations. Some people are not just worthy enough of my love, kindness, and understanding. But most of all, I hope everyone will learn that being human, who is capable of making mistakes, should not be an excuse to hurt someone.
— Shiori X
Art: giselle_dekel
