15/02/2024
PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE WHEN YOUR CHILD IS AWAKE
I need to remind myself this. Everyday.
They are only child once, and as parents, we are the most important person/s in their lives.
Nowadays, a phone seems like an extension of one's hand. Almost impossible to put down. But we need to consciously do it or else, we will be sending an unconscious message to our children: they are LESS important than our phones.
Worse, instead of having dreams and interests to pursue, all they might want early on in life is to have a phone of their own, in hope to understand what keeps their parents from them. Or worst, in hope to connect with their parents, until time comes they will drift away from us as well.
Put down your phone when your child is awake.
See them eye to eye.
Talk to them even if they are still newborn. Don't wait for them to know how to talk before you talk to them. Because by then, it will already be too late.
Get them used to your voice, to your thoughts, to your presence.
Language and conversations shape a child's intellegence, personality and character.
When you are there, be fully present. Don't be present online while absent in real life.
Don't be loud in comments and chats while not being able to greet your child a good morning.
Remember, when you make your presence felt, you help your child grow up to be a secure and confident individual, not anxious, weary and withdrawn.
Play with them as often as possible, and not with the games in your phone.
In a few years time, they'll have their own playmates and we may no longer have the chance to be their playmate again.
Put down your phone when your child is awake.
Did you know that after sleeping, it is you they'll be looking for?
If you think you are less important because its always the other parent who is more hands on , then you need to be more engaged. Your child is just a child incapable of forcing himself to you. As the adult, as the parent, be the one to reach out and deliberately be there.
If your work entails using your phone, make sure it is known to all. Communicate the timeframe and be honest with it. Do not make it as an excuse to mindlessly scroll through your feed.
There are nuggets of wisdom online and yes, you can be online, but do so after attending to more essentials tasks, like being a father/mother.
Put down your phone when your child is awake.
Do not wait for them to cry before you tend to them. If you've been more attentive, that cry might not need to happen because you'll be able to see cues before they cry from unmet needs.
Put down your phone when your child is awake.
Don't know what to do after? Read them a book, sing a song or tell a story. Whether its true to life or from a movie, it doesn't matter. What the child wants is just to be with you. It may not be as easy especially for those who are not much of a talker. But if you don't start now, then when will you learn how?
Put down your phone when your child is awake.
They are only young once, and our time with them is more fleeting than we think we have. You may have more time later, but they need you now.
So, try to check if your child is awake. And if he is, I hope you'll know what to do. ❤️
