11/09/2026
Letโs be the light to one another โ we are all worthy to experience this beautiful life. We have still a lot of empty pages in our book needed to be filled. ๐๏ธ
๐๐๐ผ๐๐๐๐ ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ๐?
๐พ๐ ๐๐ด ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ ๐ข๐ฆ!
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐! ๐ต๐๐ ๐ก ๐๐๐ก๐๐!
๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐! ๐บ๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ข๐?
These were the words I heard about my plight before. Yet, wala koy mabuhat, it's their reaction about me without knowing my holistic situation.
Before September ends, in observance to National Su***de Prevention Month. I want to share my story how I suffered and grappled depression.
It will be a lengthy post; reflect and I hope it will inspire and touch you. Be grateful and God Bless!
Nganong ako paman? Why is it hard to express? share? and confess? Do I need to suffer?
I do not truly understand myself before. Wala ko kasabot sa akong kinaiya, how I socialize, and how I put myself sa una sa public setting. These were the questions who bothers me yet on the bright side I've to understand why and make me more grateful in life.
Adolescent stage is the period of an individual where curiosity comes in, hormones are rushing about what truly life is. My life before was miserable mentally, I was loved by my family and friends but the defect is in me. To make story short I let myself isolated towards the enjoyable moments that possibly help me to be an extrovert and lessen the sufferings and pain I felt. Fast forward, My journey in grappling depression is started when I was in senior high school, wala ko kabalo what are the truly factors why I felt those; several times I passed out, kanang gidayungan ka from third floor to ground floor. There were times I had hallucinations about something, seeing something that is not existing. It's hard to be on a situation that even me wala kasabot what is happening to me.
Fast forward, after pandemic. History repeats itself, the experience na kanang dili gusto nimo ma experience og balik; ningbalik jud. But in contrary, to my senior high school experiences - I slowly got to understand my plight, my personality and slowly accepting it. I was an introvert, overthinker, melancholic, soft-hearted and got easily affected by words that was thrown at me especially negatives and criticism. Those times was tough, last year there were times that I always got bothered by how I really got carried away by my social life. I was depressed through the reasons na wala ko kabalo why my friend of mine distancing himself from me; I deeply bothered why, wala koy gebuhat na mali sa iya, gipasakitan siya physically, emotionally and mentally wala. I was like searching for the answer why. There were also times I wan't to stop studying it's because I don't feel the environment at all. I'm on my situation na wala ko kasabot, akong emotions kay intermittent even though walay nahitabo mukalit nalag ka down, I felt I'm a failure and such. Several times I want to commit su***de, my ID dictating me to commit yet grateful japon I've got to battled those emotions and voices whose dictating me to end my life.
There is a vivid situation of mine, during our praise and worship practice at church, I'm exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally even though wala kayko gebuhat. After practicing I collapsed, almost one hour ko ge tabang, gidala kog hospital due to wala na sila kabalo sa buhaton. All of the results of the tests taken, like x-ray, blood, and etc. was all negative, yet the doctor said and it was still vivid on my mind that I don't need doctors who can check my condition that time; I need a Psychiatrist.
I would love to share everything about my experiences, yet still I can't afford to express it. Sa tanan nako na agian, I realized na I think it is just my nature, that this is me najud, I will bring this personality hantod matiguwang ko yet the proton side I've got to empathize it, and the only prayer now is unta soon dli ni ma mana sa ako mga offfsprings na mentality og personality. Sometimes I felt like I'm a failure; even though I'm not. Sometimes I felt mentally and emotionally exhausted; nga wla man koy gebuhat. Lisod jud sabton akong personality. However still I'm so grateful that there were people who got to understand me, the true me.
Gusto jud nako e share tanan, yet there's still part of me that I can't. I'm on my situation na I'm prioritizing myself because most of the
time manggud I was always thinking about the others jud even though I've got to risk my mental and emotional health. Presently, I was accustomed na and immune if the moment that I've got to feel the tendencies again, I know what to do na.
Why I am doing this? posting my experience? for what?
We're living our lives that most of the time we let our emotions control our mind's console, control and dictate us what to do. As an advocate of Mental Health I really badly wanted to spread message that depression is just an invincible foe that can be defeated; Prayer and God is the best solution. He imparted me empathy, and keep me understand to always be grateful, because everything was and will happen with and has its reasons. God will not give us trials if we can't afford to battle it. In praying we don't need to pray na Lord walaa akong gibati or even mga pagsulay na akong na agaian yet pray for strength and wisdom.
Let's take care of our mental health, invest more time in prioritizing yourself. Our life is precious and we're just given one. Yes, it's difficult, sufferings was deep, it's not easy at all. Always remember we are not alone, we battled life not by ourselves alone, there is an Omnipotent who also with us grappling, just be submissive and rely everything on Him.
Take care of yourself, Love yourself, and Prioritize yourself. Because Mental Health hugely matters!
Share this, the message and be that inspiration to touch others lives. Share your experiences because it will might help others.
Highest Glory and Honor belongs unto Him!
God Bless everyone.
๐๐๐๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐๐๐๐!
***dePreventionMonth
