29/07/2026
Lately, I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed.
Today, I reached a point I’m not proud of.
Gibson had a meltdown, and instead of responding with the patience he needed, I let my own emotions take over. I reacted in a way I deeply regret.
After everything calmed down, he came to me and hugged me.
That hug broke me.
A few moments later, I put on my earbuds just to quiet the noise in my head. Then, out of all the songs that could have played, the very first one was the song I wrote for him.
I couldn’t stop crying.
Maybe it was God’s way of reminding me of the kind of mother I want to be. Either way, it made me remember why I wrote that song in the first place. Every lyric came from a heart that loves my son more than words could ever express.
Parenting an autistic child is beautiful, but it’s also incredibly overwhelming at times. I know many of you see the smiles, see us happily sing, the milestones, and the happy moments. But there are also days when I become overstimulated, mentally exhausted, and I fall short of the mom I want to be.
I’m not sharing this because I’m proud of it. I’m sharing it because I want to be honest. Today, I don’t want this page to only show the good days while hiding the ones that humble me the most.
Today reminded me that I still have so much to learn, not just about autism, but about regulating my own emotions too.
I’m asking God to help me become more patient, more gentle, and more understanding, especially on the days when everything feels too much.
I’m sharing the song I wrote for my son below. Listening to it today reminded me that love isn’t measured by perfect days… it’s shown in our willingness to admit when we’ve failed, to ask for forgiveness, and to keep choosing to do better.
To my son, I’m so sorry. I love you with all my heart. And I’ll never stop trying to become the mom you deserve.