21/09/2025
๐ข๐ฃ๐๐ก๐๐ข๐ก | Better Than Your Avon Umbrella!
Ah yes, the Rolls-Royce Cullinanโthe crown jewel of "British Princess Wannabe" Sarah Discayaโs garage, complete with its signature hidden umbrella tucked neatly inside the door.
While others wrestle with storm clouds under their tattered Avon umbrellas. She glides through the rain in a half-million-dollar fortress on wheels. That umbrella alone could feed a barangay for a month. For her, rain is merely weather; for the people, itโs just another reminder theyโre stuck outside the tinted glass.
But thats only the prologue. Sarahโs garage is less a parking space and more of a hall of shame, lined with โฑ10-million-and-up trophies that roar louder than her flood control projecy management:
Her Rolls-Royce Cullinan (โฑ30M to โฑ60M). The SUV of kings and monarchs, now in the hands of someone who treats taxpayers like peasants. Its umbrella? Sturdier than the projects she has changed contracted.
Plus her Bentley Continental GT (โฑ14M) The car that bends rules as smoothly as it bends corners.
Additionally, her Bentley Bentayga (โฑ15Mโโฑ18M). Because nothing says โI careโ like a luxury SUV worth more than an entire overbridge.
Her Mercedes-AMG G 63 (โฑ16Mโโฑ23M). The โG-Wagenโ of corruptionโboxy, flashy, and fueled by taxpayer pesos instead of diesel.
The Mercedes-Maybach GLS she owns (โฑ18Mโโฑ30M). With SUV so indulgent it practically screams: Build d**es? No thanks, Iโll build cup holders.
The 2 unit Cadillac Escalade (โฑ17.8Mโโฑ19.8M each). A big, bold, and about as subtle as her โfund pickpocketing.โ Two Escalades? Double the theft, double the flex.
Another 2 unit of Lincoln Navigator (โฑ15Mโโฑ16M each). Navigating not roads, but the fine art of avoiding accountability.
The pair of GMC Yukon Denali she have (โฑ11M each). A reminder that in Sarahโs world, two Yukons are worth more than a bridge.
Her Porsche Cayenne (โฑ13.5Mโโฑ15M). Spicy on the outside, but bland when compared to what โฑ15 million could have done for better flood control projects.
Lexus LM (โฑ10Mโโฑ12M). Marketed as โluxury in motion.โ In Sarahโs case, luxury built on motioning away public funds.
That Jeep Grand Wagoneer she have (โฑ12M). An irony on four wheelsโa Jeep, the vehicle of the masses, rebranded as her personal possession.
Mercedes-Benz GLS (10Mโโฑ16.3M). Because an ordinary Benz isnโt good enough when thereโs still a budget left to plunder.
Lastly, no, not even close? Her Land Rover Defender (up to โฑ17M). Designed to survive the wildโjust like Sarah, defending herself from critics with crocodile tears.
Add it all up, and her familyโs showroom racks up tens upon tens of millionsโeasily breaching utmost โฑ271.5 million, and that's not even all of it. Not horsepowerโbut pocket power, allegedly siphoned from funds meant to fix roads, d**es, and canals. Instead of smoother highways for the people, Sarah enjoys smoother leather seats for herself.
And what's her excuse? โHard-earned money", from a starting salary of 18 million in her first project. 18, not one; yeah, right. Hard on the publicโs pockets. Hard on the nationโs patience. Every time a budget vanishes like smoke, another beast appears in her driveway. Itโs not public allegianceโitโs a car show, except the tickets are paid for by the taxpayers.
Meanwhile, her constituents cling to broken tricycles, jeepneys that wheeze like dying accordions, and buses with โair-conditioningโ that only works when the windows are down. For her? Well she'd probably just presses a button, and her Rolls Royce seals her off from rain, traffic, and accountability alike.
So the next time she flashes another toy on television, letโs not ask, โWhich car today?โ but rather, โWhose future was mortgaged for that ride?โ Because every Ferrari couldโve been a d**e, every Bentley a canal, every Maybach wouldn't have resulted to "ghost projects." Instead, her garage isnโt a showroom of successโitโs a graveyard of stolen opportunities, polished until they shine.
And while her engines purr, the peopleโs voices choke.
Because Sarah Discaya doesnโt just drive luxury carsโshe drives the proof that theft and graft has wheels. And itโs running over the nation, one joyride at a time.
โ๐ป Dismaya
๐จ Dud Errol Guerrero
