16/11/2022
Beyond my Fears (A COVID Experience)
Covid-19 posed the greatest changes in everyone’s life. Every tick of time brought us too much worries as well as uncertainties. But still, there is always a ray of the sun that keeps on shining and continuously giving us hope that everyone should still stand and keep on fighting.
A couple of months ago, an experience tested my whole being as a believer of our Almighty Father. When one of my colleague was tested positive for Covid-19, all of us fell into a moment of nerve-racking dilemma since we are his primary contacts. Suddenly, we felt that we were in the midst of nowhere. We did not know what to do and feel at that very moment. Negative thoughts started to creep into my mind. Though my other colleagues kept on sending pampering and overpowering statements of positivity in our group chat, still my mind cannot help thinking of the consequences of the situation we were in.
The ticking of the clock and the passing minutes led to a more distressing night. I can’t even close my eyes and have a peaceful sleep. The uneasiness that I felt kept me going to and fro the comfort room. As the night slowly evolved into a more serene one, while grossing the coldness of it, I was seated on the dining chair while holding my phone and silently saying a prayer. Then for a while, I have a glimpse of my 6-year-old son, my 4-month-old baby, and my wife who were asleep already at that time. I did not even notice that my tears had already rolled down my face. I wished that the predicament we were all in that time was just a dream. How I wished. The thoughts that what will happen to my family if I had also the virus tortured my whole being. Can I surpass this one? Can my family go through it? What will happen to us?
The next morning, my heart seemed like a time bomb while we were waiting for the swab test result of my colleague. As expected, he was tested positive of Covid-19. After hearing the bad news, I felt everything had stopped. This was the moment we did not wished for. To free my mind from overthinking and fear, I decided myself to be tested also, since I doubted that I have contacted him even for a matter of minutes only. Undergoing a swab test was not a joke and will never be. The sudden pain and fear I felt during that time made me realized more that we were just humans. We were vulnerable. My heart elusively pumped with mixed emotions. Sadness and fear overflowed even more.
Moreover, waiting for the result of the test was the most alarming of all. Hearing the different stories about this corona virus gave me much pain and anxiety. Given all the hardships I have gone through all these years, this one was the worst of all. I was a shattered pieces of puzzle waiting to be solved again. How could I keep myself uplifted in times like this? Whom do I ask for help?
For a moment, I had thought of my dreams, my aspirations in life that I wanted to achieve. My dreams for my children, my family. I still have lots of dreams for them. Can I have the chance to see them grow happy and be successful someday?
My faith in Him was tested at that very moment. My body was trembling with fear but deep inside my heart, I knew that I can overcome my greatest fear with the help of someone up there. Someone who will lift us up in this difficult time. All I need to do is to trust Him.
I keep on searching prayers and read it with full positive insights that the result of the swab test will be negative.
And then the moment of judgment came, releasing of results for the swab test. Another colleague of mine confirmed that she was positive for Covid-19. I felt like my heart popped out of nervousness when I heard that for the reason that we were together few days ago when we went to Roxas City for our enrolment in graduate studies. I was left with no choice but to condition myself that whatever happens I have to bear with it. But still, I’m very much hopeful that everything will be alright. I greatly believe in our Almighty Father that He will not abandon me in times like this.
And then someone called me, my result was negative. When I heard it, I was relived. It seemed that everything went back to normal. I hugged tightly my wife and my children, shouting with joy “Thank you, Lord! I am forever grateful to you!”
I realized that God is the greatest savior of all. Beyond our fears, the miracle that our Almighty is much powerful than our doubts are a promise. Keep on sailing but never forget to pause for a moment, and talk to the Lord. “Deuteronomy 31:6 be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you”.
By: RABit
