23/09/2025
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฏ ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ฏ ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐
IITians know the golden rule of research: The first step in proving any revolutionary theory is to run experiments on lab rats. But for the knowledge-thirsty geniuses out there, havenโt you ever wondered that the passport to enlightenment is not the fourth round of the neighbor belting โGolden,โ but a curious question of what it feels like on the other end of the stick? The life of the one squeaking in the maze while you jot down observations and call it ๐ฅ๐ข๐ต๐ข is a concept too foreign, too downplayed.
Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, I present to you: ๐ข ๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ๐ช๐ง๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ฐ.
Wide-eyed freshmen stormed the campus halls with Certificates of Registration (CORs) as IDs, OOTDs as varied as a variety store. Their spirits? Over the topโlike they were about to conquer Rome, not just queue at the university entrance. The welcoming week felt like a fever dream, literally. Because hereโs the kicker: Students with an actual fever can now still ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ classesโthanks to the glorious invention of ๐ข๐ด๐บ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฉ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ด ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ. Groundbreaking. Truly, the miracle of modern education.
Week 4: purely online classes to give way for the almighty Bar Examโaka the Olympics for future lawyers. Fair enough, weโll step aside for the courtroom gladiators. But six whole weeks of blended learning in the first two months? Thatโs less of a learning system and more of a mystery novel. Except, spoiler alert: nobody solves it, not even Sherlock with Wi-Fi.
How many editorials, columns, and lampoons does it take to minimize the plague of asynchronous sessions in the academe? How many anonymous rants in ๐๐๐-๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ page does it take for you to hear that we donโt deserve this, and things are not working out? In my past relationships, I could just break up with my lover when things went south. But how can I ever break up with you, ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ช๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ ๐๐ข๐ฎ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต๐ข๐ด๐ข๐ฏ? I'm not the begging type, ๐ฃ๐ถ๐ต ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ, and I really want this to work.
โCollege life would be totally different from high school.โ This is the common monologue of most seniors sneak peeking the incoming freshmen of what university life is. And dare I say, โCorrect!โ 2025-###X students are climbing Mt. Everest with flip-flops. They had to master the choreography of face-to-face majors and online minors.
Adding insult to injury is Professor X, who seems to think โasynchronousโ is just a fancy euphemism for โGoogle Meet at 3:00 sharp.โ So, picture this: students bolt out of their classrooms like itโs the 100-meter dash, desperately chasing the ever-so-intermittent my.IIT Wi-Fi, fumbling to log in with their my.IIT accountsโsince, of course, personal accounts are bannedโonly to finally land in class at 3:05 p.m.โfive minutes late and ten years older in stress. Now, let me pose a very serious question: What kind of cats are we breeding on campus? Weโre not bioengineering cheetahs, are we? Because thatโs the only species fast enough to keep up with this academic sprint.
If the pandemic did us any favor in our collective pursuit of information, itโs that asynchronous activities are break times for household chores. Student A turns on TikTok Live, with a caption โ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐บ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ด ๐ข ๐๐ ๐๐ณ๐จ ๐ด๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต.โ The setup? Fairy lights glowing like itโs Coachella, an army of pastel highlighters, and notes long enough to wrap around the campus oval. Everything screams ๐ข๐ฆ๐ด๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ต๐ช๐ค ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ถ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ต๐บโuntil reality barges in. From the background, a motherly voice cuts through: โ๐๐ข๐ฌ, ๐ฉ๐ถ๐จ๐ข๐ด๐ช ๐ณ๐ข๐จ๐ถ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฎ๐จ๐ข ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ฐ!โ End of vibe. Live paused.
As ๐ช๐ด๐ฌ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ข๐ณ๐ด ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฃ๐ข๐บ๐ข๐ฏ, we all know the bitter truth: not everyone here is rocking high-end tech. Asynchronous classes? Oh, theyโre basically champagne refills for the privileged, while the rest of us are left sipping from cracked plastic cups. Those with shiny gadgets glide through modules like itโs a Netflix binge, while others wrestle with laggy hand-me-downs that sound like theyโre about to launch into orbit. The result? A performance gap so wide, you could host the next PALAKASAN in it.
As Hannah Montana poetically put, โ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ด,โ except for IITians: this is not a pop anthem but an identity crisisโlike Zeus and Jupiter suffering migraines trying to be each other, being both at once. The face-to-face setting is the strict disciplinarian father, barking โattendance!โ like a drill sergeant, while the online setup is that overly forgiving mother who pats your head and whispers, โ๐๐ตโ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ข๐บ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ, ๐ด๐ค๐ณ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ด๐ค๐ณ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ, ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฅ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ.โ Truly, a parenting-style clash turned into an academic system.
And through it all, as Septemberโaka prelims monthโloomed like a horror movie villain waiting for the director to cue the jump scare. Imagine being tested on lessons absorbed halfway through buffering, momโs errands, and the caress of existential dread. Freshmen who once dreamed of independence, like baby birds who discovered that their wings could be used to fly, now faced the harsh reality of split lives: half dorm, half home, full-time subscription to confusion.
After all, everything has ๐ข๐ญ๐ธ๐ข๐บ๐ด been part of a greater mission: to find out whether an asynchronous method is effective, notwithstanding the countless purrs of the cats, how it has become trendy in the global competitive version of Instagram, and how university students can be made into specimen 101 in some educational experiment.
And so the academic year marches on: part concert, part classroom, part living room karaoke bar. For freshmen, itโs not just a college setupโitโs an entire stage for โAmerican Ninja Warrior.โ Home of the Cats? More like ๐๐ถ๐ฃ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ข๐ฃ ๐๐ข๐ต๐ด.
โ๏ธ Katoptris and Toothsie
๐ Ice and Orpheus
๐จ Enaemon and Junjin
