16/12/2020
I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ANGRY MOM
When my child, Robyn, became toddler already, there are days that I was about to lose it. Most of the time napapansin ko na mabilis akong magalit, mainis, and I even shout at her sometimes. Nagsasabay-sabay lahat; work, gawaing bahay, pagpapadede, pagiging ina at asawa, etc. Sobrang likot na ni Robyn, explore dito explore dun. One time galing ako sa work and wala pa akong tulog, hindi siya tumitigil kakalatch sa akin, maybe because hindi siya nakadede sa akin magdamag (cup feeding siya when i’m away), dede, laro, dede, laro. I wanted her to take a nap para makatulog na rin ako pero hindi, habang naglalatch pa siya para siyang nagaacrobat sa kakulitan.. hanggang nasigawan ko siya at napalo sa pwet. Nakatingin lng siya sa akin and about to cry 🥺 and then I hugged her many many times dahil sobra akong naguilty nun.. Ayokong kalakihan niya yun, na makita ako as her angry mom. So naisip ko i needed to prevent myself from doing that. As a mom, paano nga ba natin dpat ikalma ang ating sarili?
1. KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS - alamin natin bakit natin sila nasisigawan. Dahil ba talaga sa kakulitan nila which is normal, or dahil hindi natin naintindihan yun at the time because of exhaustion? Dahil sa walang tulog? Mostly, yan ang nagttrigger sa atin kaya nawawalan tayo ng pasensya. If walang tulog at pagod sa work or gawaing bahay, and you can’t look after your child at the moment, ask for help. Sa asawa mo, sa mama mo or sa kasama mo sa bahay. Umidlip ka muna at magpahinga ka para marefresh ka. If alam mong mapapagod ka sa work kinabukasan, magpahinga ka ng mahaba a day before para pag uwi mo kahit papano may energy ka parin. Always remember rin na being a mom is not about being a supermom all the time. You also need to take a rest. In that way, mas magagampanan natin lalo ang pagiging ina.
2. TIME MANAGEMENT - I am a working mom, i also handle our small business at may mga rakets pa ko to earn. Di rin kasi ako napapakali pag di nagwowork or hindi ako kumikita. 😅 but still, wala kaming yaya and kasambahay, we’re also away from our parents. But how do we manage our time? Palagi ko sinasabi sa partner ko sa buhay, ang daddy ni robyn, na uunahin namin palagi yung mas nagmamatter at kailangan ng urgent attention. Ang trabaho kasi ng pagiging magulang ay di natatapos talaga. Walang katapusan yan, matapos mo ang isang gawain may susunod pa ulit.. so what we do is focus on what truly matters first and the rest will follow.
3. DO NOT PRESSURE YOURSELF - as I’ve mentioned earlier being a mom is not about being a supermom all the time. As much as we wanted to do everything. WE CAN’T. Tao lang rin tayo na may kapasidad at limitasyon. So wag i-pressure ang sarili kapag may hindi ka nagawa or natapos. At the end of the day, when your child is fed, clothed, and loved, that is what truly matters.
4. SELF CARE IS IMPORTANT - I’m not saying the ‘instagram’ type of self care that we are seeing like going out on a vacation, or pamper yourself in a bath tub full of roses and candles. We can take care of ourselves by just eating healthy foods, have a proper exercise, taking breaks from social media, read your books, talking to a friend, prayer and meditation.
5. BE PRESENT - I am saying that we should focus on what is happening now. What is in front of you right now. Ako kasi sometimes masyado akong nagwoworry in the future na hindi rin naman nakakatulong. Worried ako pag nagschool na si robyn and what if ma-bully sya? Worried ako pag nainlove na siya at masaktan siya. At sobrang dami pang iba na hndi rin nakakatulong sa akin in the present. So I should just worry on what is happening right now. Tell yourself that you will raise her properly and teach her how to be responsible and independent para in the future, you don’t have to worry. And also, don’t dwell in the past rin. Let’s just focus on present. 🤍
6. OWN YOUR FEELINGS - Importante rin na we take responsibility of our feelings. My daughter didn’t “make” me frustrated. I’m frustrated over my daughter’s behaviour. Yan palagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko pag naguumpisa na akong mainis. Hindi nila kasalanan na malikot sila, o kung ayaw nilang kumain o matulog pa. mas mgiging kalmado tayong ina pag naisip natin kung bakit ganon yung behavior nila maybe because they are exploring something or naiba yung routine nila dahil sa routine rin natin.
I hope these help mommies! I know talagang mahirap iwasang magalit dahil sa dami ng iniintindi natin but still, we don’t want our child to see us in that way. So kalma tayo momsh and don’t forget to take care of ourselves rin. 🤎🤗
- Love, Mommy of Robyn 🖤
