21/07/2025
After you leave that relationship, little by little you realize all the horrible ways you were abused.
At first, there’s a strange mix of emotions—relief, sadness, guilt, confusion. You might even question yourself, wondering if you made the right decision. But as the days turn into weeks, and the emotional fog starts to clear, you begin to see things for what they really were. You start remembering moments that didn’t sit right. The way they spoke to you with subtle cruelty disguised as “jokes.” The way you were made to feel like everything was your fault, even when it clearly wasn’t. The way your feelings were dismissed, minimized, or twisted back onto you.
It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion. One memory triggers another, and suddenly, patterns start to emerge. What you thought were isolated incidents now form a long, consistent thread of manipulation, control, emotional neglect, and psychological warfare. You realize how your self-worth was slowly eroded, how you were gaslighted into doubting your own reality, and how your love was used as a weapon against you. You remember how you constantly had to explain your emotions, defend your reactions, and apologize for things you didn't even do—just to keep the peace.
More and more things start to unfold. You recognize how much you tolerated just to be loved. You see how deeply you were conditioned to accept the bare minimum, and how hard you fought to hold everything together—while they did nothing but tear you apart. You remember silencing yourself to avoid conflict, walking on eggshells, and pretending things were okay because you didn’t want anyone to see the truth you were too afraid to face.
And the hardest part is this: you realize the abuse was so much worse than you thought. The damage went deeper than you were willing to admit while you were still in survival mode. In retrospect, everything starts to look clearer. The manipulation, the emotional withdrawal, the blame-shifting, the lies—it all becomes undeniable. And you begin to understand just how much of yourself you lost in the process.
You see the depth of the trauma and pain you actually went through, and it hurts. It hurts because you finally recognize that none of it was your fault. That you didn’t deserve any of it. That your love, patience, and loyalty were taken for granted and used against you. But it’s also the beginning of healing—because with every layer you peel back, you reclaim a little more of your voice, your power, and your truth. And that truth is this: you survived something that was meant to destroy you. And now, you get to rebuild—not just your life, but yourself.
