There Che Goes

27/07/2025

Kylie Padilla reminds the girls to settle with someone who has a provider mindset.

In her interview with BB, she said:

“Now I want someone with a provider mindset. Dati, yabang ko lang. I thought it didn’t matter because I was privileged. But now, I’ve woken up to reality. I have kids. I’m a single mom. It’s exhausting. I don’t want to be tired forever.”

That line “I don’t want to be tired forever” says it all.

Because love should feel like peace.
It should feel like rest.

Choose someone who takes care of you.
Not just financially, but with effort, presence, and consistency.

A real man won’t let you carry the weight alone.

It’s not just about money.
It’s about how he shows up.
How he makes you feel safe, seen, and supported.

You don’t have to feel bad for wanting that. Settle with someone with provider mindset.

📷 Kylie padilla

21/07/2025

After you leave that relationship, little by little you realize all the horrible ways you were abused.
At first, there’s a strange mix of emotions—relief, sadness, guilt, confusion. You might even question yourself, wondering if you made the right decision. But as the days turn into weeks, and the emotional fog starts to clear, you begin to see things for what they really were. You start remembering moments that didn’t sit right. The way they spoke to you with subtle cruelty disguised as “jokes.” The way you were made to feel like everything was your fault, even when it clearly wasn’t. The way your feelings were dismissed, minimized, or twisted back onto you.

It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion. One memory triggers another, and suddenly, patterns start to emerge. What you thought were isolated incidents now form a long, consistent thread of manipulation, control, emotional neglect, and psychological warfare. You realize how your self-worth was slowly eroded, how you were gaslighted into doubting your own reality, and how your love was used as a weapon against you. You remember how you constantly had to explain your emotions, defend your reactions, and apologize for things you didn't even do—just to keep the peace.

More and more things start to unfold. You recognize how much you tolerated just to be loved. You see how deeply you were conditioned to accept the bare minimum, and how hard you fought to hold everything together—while they did nothing but tear you apart. You remember silencing yourself to avoid conflict, walking on eggshells, and pretending things were okay because you didn’t want anyone to see the truth you were too afraid to face.

And the hardest part is this: you realize the abuse was so much worse than you thought. The damage went deeper than you were willing to admit while you were still in survival mode. In retrospect, everything starts to look clearer. The manipulation, the emotional withdrawal, the blame-shifting, the lies—it all becomes undeniable. And you begin to understand just how much of yourself you lost in the process.

You see the depth of the trauma and pain you actually went through, and it hurts. It hurts because you finally recognize that none of it was your fault. That you didn’t deserve any of it. That your love, patience, and loyalty were taken for granted and used against you. But it’s also the beginning of healing—because with every layer you peel back, you reclaim a little more of your voice, your power, and your truth. And that truth is this: you survived something that was meant to destroy you. And now, you get to rebuild—not just your life, but yourself.

16/06/2025

13/06/2025

The wrong man will drain you while calling it love. He’ll watch you carry everything on your shoulders....emotionally, mentally, financially.....and applaud your strength, not realizing he’s the reason you have to be so strong in the first place. He’ll let you struggle, let you handle life alone, and still expect loyalty, softness, and peace from a woman he’s left in survival mode.

But the right man… oh, he’s a different story. The right man sees your strength, but he doesn’t exploit it. He respects it, honors it, and matches it. He knows you can do it all by yourself, but he won’t allow you to....not because he thinks you're incapable, but because he refuses to let you carry it all alone when he's supposed to be your partner.
See, real men know that a relationship isn't a test of how much a woman can endure. It's a union where both people thrive, not just survive. A real man doesn’t sit back and expect a woman to lead, protect, and provide for herself while he reaps the benefits of her loyalty. No… a real man sets the tone, leads with integrity, creates a safe space, and shows up with consistency.
Not just in words, but in actions.
Because no matter how independent she is, how strong she’s become, or how much she’s learned to rely on herself, every woman wants to feel safe. Every woman wants to exhale. And she can’t do that with a man who keeps showing her that she’s better off alone.

So fellas, if you want a woman to be soft with you… give her safety. If you want her to follow your lead… make sure you're actually leading. If you want her to lean on you… be strong enough to hold the weight. Because love isn't proven by how much she can carry....it’s proven by how much you’re willing to carry with her.

13/06/2025

'TAHIMIK PERO HINDI BULAG, NAGTITIPID LANG AKO NG LAKAS'

"Sometimes, explaining is more tiring than staying silent. Because no matter what you say, if the person's mind is closed, you won't gain anything. So I just keep quiet not because I'm weak, but because I know how to choose my battles."

"Ang pagiging tahimik ay hindi nangangahulugang hindi ko nakikita ang nangyayari. Minsan, ang pagmamasid ay nagtuturo ng higit pa sa pagsasalita. Pinipili ko ang kapayapaan kaysa ingay, ngunit hindi ko papansinin ang katotohanan. Huwag mong ipagkamali ang pananahimik ko na kamangmangan, nagtitipid lang ako ng lakas. Nakikita ko, naiintindihan ko, at kikilos ako kapag tama ang oras."

"Alam mo 'yung feeling na naiintindihan mo lahat pero pinipili mong huwag magsalita? Kasi pag ikaw ang nagsalita, baka masaktan mo pa sila. Kaya kahit gusto mong ipagtanggol ang sarili mo, pinipili mong tiisin, tahimik na lang, para sa kapayapaan."

12/06/2025

Co-parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about effective co-parenting, positive parenting, and putting the kids first while keeping the peace. When everyone works together, the children’s happiness comes first. That’s boss-level parenting right there.

📸CTTO

12/06/2025

Some men can be deeply toxic.
They don’t know how to love you properly, yet they refuse to let you go.

The more you give, the less they give back, until the moment you finally decide you’ve had enough.

That’s when they suddenly want to show up, claim to love you, and promise to change.
Don’t fall for the cycle. Let it hurt one last time, and walk away for good.

Protect your peace. Choose yourself.

11/06/2025

She’s not crazy… she was abused.
She learned how to stay quiet in rooms where she should’ve been protected. She learned how to survive in love that felt more like a battlefield.

She’s not irrational.... she’s carrying pain that no one ever apologized for. The kind of pain that teaches you to question your own reality, just because someone else wanted control over it.

She’s not stupid… she was manipulated.
There’s a difference. Love-bombed, gaslit, lied to, twisted up in someone else’s brokenness. She believed words over patterns because she wanted to believe.

She was taught that love meant enduring.... so she endured. She was told it was all in her head, when really, it was all in his hands. The control, the silence, the guilt. That wasn’t stupidity. That was hope.... weaponized.

She’s not shy… she’s protecting herself.
She doesn’t trust easily anymore. She’s guarded, not because she wants to be cold, but because warmth once betrayed her. She’s quiet because her voice was once ignored. She’s observing, calculating, studying who is safe and who just pretends to be. Her silence is her shield.... not her flaw.

She’s not bitter… she’s speaking the truth.
Calling out what happened isn’t bitterness. It’s bravery. Naming the pain is healing. Holding people accountable is not holding onto hate... it’s refusing to sugarcoat the damage.

She’s not angry, she’s awake. And she’s done shrinking herself to make other people comfortable with their own wrongdoings. She’s not stuck in the past… she’s been damaged.

Trauma doesn’t live on a calendar. Healing isn’t linear. Sometimes the memory of pain walks right back into her day, uninvited. She’s not “dwelling,” she’s rebuilding. You can’t rush a heart back to wholeness. Not when it was shattered by the very hands that once held it.

She’s not delusional… she lived a nightmare.
The kind of nightmare that smiles in public and destroys you in private. The kind that no one believed because he looked charming and she looked tired. She’s not exaggerating.... she endured. She’s not dramatic.... she survived.
She’s not weak… she was trusting.

She gave people the benefit of the doubt. She believed love was enough. She forgave more than she should’ve, stayed longer than she deserved to, and loved harder than she was loved in return. That’s not weakness.... that’s humanity. She wore her heart on her sleeve in a world that keeps trying to rip it off.
She’s not giving up…
She’s healing. 💜

And that healing? It’s messy. It’s loud sometimes, and silent at others. It looks like pulling back. It looks like losing friends. It looks like crying in the shower and smiling at strangers. But it’s real. And it’s happening.

So don’t mislabel her process. Don’t mistake her silence for surrender or her tears for defeat. She’s not broken.... she’s becoming. Stronger. Softer. Smarter. Wiser. Louder. More careful. More powerful.

She’s not who she used to be… and that’s a good thing.

11/06/2025

Trust me when I say this. Women glow differently when they’re loved right.

In her talk with Toni Gonzaga, Zeinab shared that she stayed in a relationship not because she was happy, but because she didn’t want Bia to grow up in a broken family. She kept choosing to stay. She kept trying, even when it was already hurting her.

But peace came when she stopped settling. When she stopped choosing the kind of pain she had gotten used to. When she finally made room for the kind of love that didn’t make her question her worth.

Now she’s married to Ray. Someone who didn’t just show up for her, but also for her kids. Someone who gives her peace. Who honors her, protects her, and respects her.

She’s glowing now. Not because her life became perfect, but because she feels safe. She feels chosen. Every single day. Not out of obligation. Not out of fear. But out of love.

Their relationship is bound by God. That kind of love is not something you chase. It’s not something you force. It’s something you pray for.

So if you’re in something one-sided. If it feels like you’re giving your all but still losing yourself in the process. Please know that this is not the end of your story.

There is love out there that doesn’t hurt. That doesn’t confuse you. That doesn’t leave you feeling empty. Wait for the kind of love that brings you peace.

📸 Zeinab Harake on Toni Talks / YouTube

05/06/2025

When a man doesn’t want to change… he won’t. No matter how much you love him. No matter how many times you hold space for him, explain your needs, or pour into him hoping he’ll eventually rise to meet you where you are. If he’s committed to staying the same, he’ll simply find someone who allows it… someone who won’t challenge him, won’t ask him to grow, won’t require the emotional maturity he’s too lazy or too afraid to develop. That’s not love… that’s comfort. That’s survival. That’s a man choosing the path of least resistance because accountability feels like pressure to the unhealed.

Ladies, don’t ever confuse your high standards with being “too much.” You’re not asking for too much by wanting honesty, consistency, emotional safety, or partnership rooted in growth. You’re asking for what a *real man* should already be working on before he even asks for your time. But when a man isn't ready to evolve .... when he’s still stuck in childish habits, still choosing ego over elevation, still avoiding hard conversations.... your strength will intimidate him. Your clarity will feel like criticism. Your boundaries will feel like rejection. Not because you're doing anything wrong… but because he’s not used to a woman who actually knows her worth.

And so, instead of rising… he retreats. Instead of learning how to communicate, he’ll say you’re “too emotional.” Instead of matching your energy, he’ll find someone who expects less… gives more… and requires absolutely no growth from him. Because that’s easier. That’s safer. That’s someone he can manipulate without being challenged.

But don’t let that make you question yourself. Don’t let his choice to settle for comfort make you shrink or second-guess your value. Sometimes, it’s not that you weren’t enough for him… it’s that you were *too much* for the version of himself he’s comfortable staying in. You were a mirror he wasn’t ready to look into. A reflection of everything he *could* be if he was brave enough to grow.
So let him go. Let him be average if that’s what he’s choosing. But don’t you dare water yourself down to fit into the life of a man who refuses to level up. You're not too much woman… he's just not enough man. And that’s not your burden to carry.

- Unknown

23/05/2025

Wo Ai Ni Cover ni Auntie. ゚