23/05/2023
I always let my past hunt me, while being afraid of the days to come. Not living in the present that is the gift of life. Are you like me? A person who starts something like writing but very critical and afraid to commit mistakes. A person who is afraid to be judged by others not knowing that I, myself is my greatest wall to conquer. Being too hard on myself like beating myself to pulp. Inhaling negativity like oxygen running to my system. Believing that I can never dream high. Comparing myself to others not knowing that they have a different path to walk. Not knowing that I just have to slowly open my shell, crawl out, stand up and make my baby steps. It is hard, but I need that to change.
After this first step I learn from reading and watching in social media, books and vlogs that we should not be impatient of our growth. What is important is that from this day I need to be consistent. I may not see a visible results in days, months or years but we should just trust the process.
Right now I don't put pressure in myself as I was writing this. I let myself pause a while and do some errands. Unlike before, I rush things and all my ideas go chaos inside my head. In the past I write one sentence then blank. I don't know which directions to go from there. That was the time I panic and sabotage myself for being useless.