The Maligno Sentinel

The Maligno Sentinel "Reckless, Restless, Ridiculous News." The Maligno Sentinel is an experiment in satirical content generation, reception, and effect.

In many ways, we also view it as an outlet for the frustration produced by an earnest desire to push for change. None of the items published here are meant to be taken as factual or true. The images used in the site are covered by Creative Commons Licenses (mostly CC BY 2.0) and are properties of their respective owners. If we have inadvertently used an image you own against your copyright specifi

cations please feel free to contact us at the e-mail address specified below. Inquiries, complaints and other forms of correspondence may be sent to: [email protected]

"Under House Bill 89144 or the 'Kindergartener Justice Act,' kids enrolled in kindergarten will be randomly selected to ...
15/03/2017

"Under House Bill 89144 or the 'Kindergartener Justice Act,' kids enrolled in kindergarten will be randomly selected to undertake testing to detect methamphetamines (shabu and related drugs), tetrahydrocannabinol (ma*****na), and Tiki-Tiki (vitamin food supplement)."

(Quezon City) The administration expressed support early Monday for a bill requiring schools to conduct random drug testing at the kindergarten level. Under House Bill 89144 or the “Kindergartener …

“Senator Pacquiao definitely has common sense,” ASTIG Program Director Jaime Bañez said in a statement, “it just takes v...
06/03/2017

“Senator Pacquiao definitely has common sense,” ASTIG Program Director Jaime Bañez said in a statement, “it just takes very sensitive equipment to detect because there is very little of it.”

(Quezon City) Local scientists have released contradictory findings after Senator Emmanuel “Manny” Pacquiao claimed at a senate hearing on the Davao Death Squad that he has common sense…

But the senator explained that the reason for the misleading information on both the senate site as well as his own site...
26/02/2015

But the senator explained that the reason for the misleading information on both the senate site as well as his own site is that he “did not want to reveal his actual alma mater to ‘Muggles.’”

(Manila) Amending an earlier statement that was released on his website last Tuesday, Senator Ferdinand ‘B**gbong’ Marcos conceded today that he attended neither Oxford nor Wharton but could not sa...

The new Dynasty Building merit badge will keep the same graphic representation, that of a hog, but will focus on raising...
23/02/2015

The new Dynasty Building merit badge will keep the same graphic representation, that of a hog, but will focus on raising a family of pigs who are trained to go into politics, win votes whether or not they are qualified or have experience in government, and then bleed the country dry through corrupt practices.

(Manila) The Boy Scouts of the Philippines (BSP) approved two new merit badges last Thursday in honour of Vice President Jejomar Binay who has been serving on and off as national president of the o...

“The new building will be called ‘Tarugo de Manila,’” Gahaman said, “it is our ‘Fu** you’ to Jose Rizal and the Filipino...
12/02/2015

“The new building will be called ‘Tarugo de Manila,’” Gahaman said, “it is our ‘Fu** you’ to Jose Rizal and the Filipino people.”

(Manila) The real estate developer behind the controversial 49-storey Torre de Manila project unveiled plans to build a second structure that would similarly mar the view of the Rizal Monument in L...

“She has honed a high proficiency in interrogation techniques through her experiences as host of ‘The Buzz,’ ‘Boy & Kris...
11/02/2015

“She has honed a high proficiency in interrogation techniques through her experiences as host of ‘The Buzz,’ ‘Boy & Kris,’ ‘Kris TV,’ among other shows,” the informant told the Maligno Sentinel, “And celebrities are much, much, much better liars than criminals.”

(Manila) Almost a week after the president accepted the resignation of Philippine National Police Director General Alan Purisima, a source in Malacañang reports that candidates for the PNP chief's ...

A spokesman for the former first lady said that the 57-year old senator will be allowed to use his Twitter account again...
10/02/2015

A spokesman for the former first lady said that the 57-year old senator will be allowed to use his Twitter account again after he has shown more maturity and responsibility, and after he cleans his room.

(The Interweb) Ilocos Norte Representative and former First Lady Imelda Marcos was forced to set parental controls on her son’s Twitter account after the latter posted a particularly stupid tweet o...

“We all have to go through heavy traffic,” Frederico told reporters, “but we don’t have to go through it frustrated or a...
10/02/2015

“We all have to go through heavy traffic,” Frederico told reporters, “but we don’t have to go through it frustrated or angry.”

(Manila) The Metropolitan Manila Development Agency (MMDA) announced early Monday that it will no longer pretend that the metropolis’ traffic congestion problems can still be fixed and will instead...

“The most common symptom among the afflicted has been a strong urge to vomit…” Palma explained, “…on Senator Revilla’s f...
10/06/2014

“The most common symptom among the afflicted has been a strong urge to vomit…” Palma explained, “…on Senator Revilla’s face.”

 (TMS) Mass absences continue to be reported in schools and workplaces all over the country in the wake of scores of Filipinos falling ill after being exposed to the privilege speech delivered by S...

“Maybe ‘likeable’ is overly optimistic at this point,” the source told the Maligno Sentinel in an exclusive interview, “...
16/05/2014

“Maybe ‘likeable’ is overly optimistic at this point,” the source told the Maligno Sentinel in an exclusive interview, “but they had hoped that the clone would at least be less annoying.”

(Manila) A high level source from the Department of Science and Technology (DOST) confirmed today an earlier leaked report which revealed that a significant part of the department’s resources have ...

The same CCTV footage shows two men who have been positively identified as members of the Martilyo Gang taking Thor’s ha...
21/04/2014

The same CCTV footage shows two men who have been positively identified as members of the Martilyo Gang taking Thor’s hammer. It is unknown how the local criminals managed to carry away a hammer that is known for an enchantment than prevents the unworthy from lifting it.

“Maybe one of them was worthy,” Bangcal surmised, “Or maybe it [Mjolnir] hated the last two Thor movies too.”

(Manila) The infamous ‘Martilyo Gang’ that was involved in a series of jewelry store heists in Metro Manila has reportedly stolen the most powerful hammer of all: Mjolnir, the hammer of Thor. The N...

Another club, the What Would Jesus Drive? group, plans on doing the same with the added function of blaring the Pasyon t...
16/04/2014

Another club, the What Would Jesus Drive? group, plans on doing the same with the added function of blaring the Pasyon through loud speakers mounted on the roofs of their cars.

“Yeah, we have at least sixty trucks and SUVs that will be deployed with loud speakers,” WWJD member Henry See explained, “each of those vehicles will have three to four members singing the Pasyon live.”

(Manila) At least a dozen car enthusiast groups and a couple of religious organizations have revealed that they will be taking part in a new form of penitensya that involves driving around major ro...

Address

Manila

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when The Maligno Sentinel posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Shortcuts

Share

Category