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28/12/2023

28/12/2023

14/12/2023

A LETTER OF APOLOGY TO MY YOUNGER SELF

Dear child, I am so sorry.

I should've done better.

I should've noticed how fast I urged us to get more mature and forgot how frightening this world can be. You grew up too fast.

It's true, we were surrounded by good people. Of that I am thankful. But I can't deny the fact that I wasn't that good to you. You never had the chance to properly feel things, thinking that if you make tantrums or misbehave, people would leave you. You forcefully shut that part of you that needs attention just for the sake of compromise.

You were so afraid of being left alone that you learned to program your mind to simply agree with what others tell you. You were so afraid of being alone and it made you desperate - even to the point of discarding your own happiness just to please people

My deepest apologies. You never deserved that kind of treatment.

I can still feel your longing to cry out loud; to learn how to truly feel without restrictions. I can still sense the hatred looming, no matter how much stuff I gave ourself just to sate the grudge left by our unmet needs.

I can feel how much you crave for that hug, that pat in the head, the assurance that all will be okay and that it's not your fault for not knowing any better.

My Dearest, I am just finding out how abused you got from shouldering all that d*mn adult feelings the world forced on us when it was not ours to begin with.

Hand it over to me now, my dear inner child. Step by step, let me change the world you live in. I am now aware of my shortcomings so let handle this. Let me do the good things that you once expected from the adults around you to do. Let me show you how capable I am right now to be the role model you were searching for. Allow me to teach you the things that you once thought were impossible.

And if you haven't heard this before, then let me say it...

"I love you. Let me make it up to you,okay?"

-duncan
Illustration by Behance

29/11/2023