21/10/2025
CONFESSION:
Hello admin,call me Mira. Please enlighten me.
I have a seafarer husband. He rejected his promotion without me knowing about it because he wants to get wedding and christening of our baby. Yet all the time he blames me he rejected that opportunity. He always vents out his anger on me whenever his tired😩. If I would have known,I won't let him decline it. Now I suffered too much emotional damage. He would even get to mention everything that he has given to me. I never asked anything. I can live my life. I'm also a professional. I never feel I'm a wife. He lets me feel so nothing and small. Yet ,kasalanan ko pa rin. Why do I have to bear the burden because of his decision? Kahit kalahati lang sweldo ko pero sa payslip ko na loan ang sa kasal namin na natapos ko na sana before kami kinasal. I really don't want to pursue wedding but kinaya ko because of my daughter. Never akong naging palamunin,not maluho. I'm never proud of that allotment na pinagkakaguluhan ng lahat. It's enough or close enough for my baby's needs. Ganyan ba mga seaman? How disgusting. Instead of being grateful I gave him a child because all he thought he was futile because all the girls he have has failed to conceive. I feel terrible na I'm the one to blame for the decision he never raise to me. Do you agree, a woman is a reflection of how you treated her? How can I be so good like he wanted me to obey him always when I feel so untreated and I really can't be his sheep because I'm an alpha woman, independent and superior. Napapa isip na tuloy akong umalis at lumayo but my baby is still small. Kasi hindi ko na kaya living under his parents roof,away from my family and treated like a slave. I know mahirap maging seamans wife. I even had my pregnancy journey very alone in a far flung area,away from my family and he is onboard. What shall I do? Is it really my fault? Am I being OA? Is my feelings valid? Akala mo naman siya bumuhay sa akin para pagsalitaan ako na useless. Hindi ko ginagastos allotment niya sa akin kundi sa sensitive baby namin. 😭😭😭💔💔💔 Ayoko na maging wife niya,mas masaya pa buhay ko noong hindi ako nag asawa kahit breadwinner ako. Nakakabaliw po talaga. Anak ko na lang nagbibigay lakas for me to survive. Everyone thought I was so lucky because my husband is a seafarer but they don't know my life is never easy ,it's miserable and horrible.
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