04/06/2025
the time i tell you something, I have already dealt with it in silence.
I don't talk about things right away, if something is bothering or hurting me, i usually try to keep it to myself first. i try to understand it on my own before i let anyone else know. so by the time i finally speak about it, ive already faced it alone. i've probably already spent hours thinking about it. or i might have cried about it when no one was around to see. by the time i share it with someone else, i have already been through the hardest part alone.
and when i finally decide to talk about it, i don't expect anyone to fix anything. i don't need solutions. i don't need someone to take the pain away. because i have already told myself the words i needed to hear. i have already cried my own tears and wiped them away. and maybe ive already picked myself back up, even if just a little.
this is just how i deal with things. it's the way i've learned to be. i carry my struggles quietly because i don't always know how to say them out loud. and by the time i speak about them, they are no longer open wounds, they are simply lessons i've already lived through and learned from.