14/02/2023
Diary of St Maria Faustyna Kowalska
Notebook 1:33-39
"I was to make this novena for the intention of my Motherland. On the seventh day of the novena I saw, between heaven and earth, the Mother of God, clothed in a bright robe. She was praying with Her hands folded on her bosom, Her eyes fixed on Heaven. From Her Heart issued forth fiery rays, some of which were turned towards Heaven while the others were covering our country.
When I told this and certain other things to my confessor, he replied that these might really be coming from God, but that they might also be an illusion. Because of my frequent changes (of assignments), I did not have a permanent confessor and besides, I had great difficulty in speaking of these things. I prayed ardently that the Lord would give me that great grace - that is, a spiritual director. But my prayer was answered only after my perpetual vows, when I went to Vilnius. The priest was Father Sopocko. God had allowed me to see him in an interior vision even before I came to Vilnius.
Oh, if only I had had a spiritual director from the beginning, then I would not have wasted so many of God's graces. A confessor can help a soul a great deal, but he can also cause it a lot of harm. Oh how careful confessors should be about the work of God's grace in their penitents' souls! This is a matter of great importance. By the graces given to a soul, one can recognize the degree of its intimacy with God.
Once I was summoned to the judgment (seat) of God. I stood alone before the Lord. Jesus appeared such as we know Him during His Passion. After a moment, His wounds disappeared except for five, those in His hands, His feet and His side. Suddenly I saw the complete condition of my soul as God sees it. I could clearly see all that is displeasing to God. I did not know that even the smallest transgressions will have to be accounted for. What a moment! Who can describe it? To stand before the Thrice - Holy - God! Jesus asked me, "Who are you?" I answered, "I am Your servant Lord". "You are guilty of one day of fire in Purgatory". I wanted to throw myself immediately into the flames of purgatory, but Jesus stopped me and said, "Which do you prefer, suffer one day in purgatory or for a short while on earth?" I replied, "Jesus, I want to suffer in purgatory, and I want to suffer also the greatest pains on earth, even if it were to the end of the World". Jesus said, "One (of the two) is enough; you will go back to earth, and there you will suffer much, but not for long; you will accomplish my will and My desires, and a faithful servant of Mine will help you to do this. Now rest your head on My bosom, on My heart, and draw from it strength and power for these sufferings, because you will find neither relief nor help nor comfort anywhere else. Know that you will have much, much to suffer, but don't let this frighten you; I am with you."
Soon afterwards I became ill. Physical weakness was for me a school of patience. Only Jesus knows how many efforts of will I had to make to fulfill my duty. In order to purify a soul, Jesus uses whatever instruments He likes. My soul underwent a complete abandonment on the part of creatures; often my best intentions were misinterpreted by the sisters, a type of suffering which is most painful; but God allows it, and we must accept it because in this way we become more like Jesus. There was one thing which I could not understand for long time: Jesus ordered me to tell everything to my Superiors, but my Superiors did not believe what I said and treated me with pity as though I were being deluded or were imagining things.
Because of this, believing myself to be deluded, I resolved to avoid God interiorly for fear of these illusions. But the grace of God pursued me at every step, and God spoke to me when I least expected it.
One day Jesus told me that He would cause a chastisement to fall upon the most beautiful city in our country (probably Warsaw). This chastisement would be that with which God had punished S***m and Gomorrah. I saw the great wrath of God and a shudder pierced my heart. I prayed in silence. After a moment Jesus said to me, "My child, unite yourself closely to me during the Sacrifice and offer My Blood and My Wounds to My Father in expiation for the sins of that city. Repeat this without interruption throughout the entire Holy Mass. Do this for seven days." On the seventh day I saw Jesus in a bright cloud and began to beg Him to look upon the city and upon our whole country. Jesus looked (down) graciously. When I saw the kindness of Jesus, I began to beg His blessing. Immediately Jesus said, "For your sake I bless the entire country". And He made a big sign of the cross over our country. Seeing the goodness of God, a great joy filled my soul."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5TGfisOKMM
