31/07/2025
Today, July 31, is the feast day of St. Ignatius de Loyola 💙 Before I make being an Atenean my entire personality, let me tell you about this book I read: The Ignatian Guide to (Almost) Everything by Fr. James Martin, SJ
(aka, a 2D-echo, if you will, of what’s in my heart at this very moment)
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Recently, I have been reacquainted with Ignatian Spirituality and Theology (for reasons that are, rather, seemingly shallow and very, uhm, new age 🤦🏼♀️😝). While all that is happening, I was going through an emotional turmoil, something that I have always been open about. I wanted to read a non-medical book (I ~am~ fond of self help books!) to get away from my phone, but decided against buying new ones before finishing my entire collection. I then chanced upon this book, tucked away in the far corner of my shelf, with its receipt from 2019 (!!!) neatly folded around page 50-ish.
ICYMI, that would imply that this has gone untouched for 6 years. Yet, why find it now?
You see, my emotional turmoil would now have a new term: Spiritual Poverty. I zoomed through the pages like I did romance books back in high school. It felt like each page was everything I was going through made tangible. If the Jesuits would humor me, I found God tucked away in the corner of my book shelf — waiting until I had my guard down, and accepted that I needed to rely on God, or fall into a deep despair.
I was also going through discernment. I make content on deromanticizing being a young doctor navigating life, but never about how I felt. How I wanted to change a lot of things, and how humbling it is to slowly start accepting that I am powerless without relying on God, because if not for him, I wouldn’t even have the hands that could come remotely close to healing.
“Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.” - Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ
(My college yearbook write up, making more sense now than it did back in 2016).
As my birthday month draws nearer, allow me to put out a wish: to understand what my governing desire is (a call to action, if I did learn anything 💙). Before I spoil this 400+-paged book, and rob you off the joy of reading (or re-reading) it, let me end this very long reflection with a direct quote from the book
“Now, all of us are called to act, to do, to work. But when you judge yourself solely by these measures, you become a “human doing” rather than a “human being””
I now want to read this yearly around this time, maybe, to shed light on thoughts that weren’t my focus on the previous year.
I’m a firm believer that we meet, and cross paths with, people for a purpose. I’d like to think this is it. 💙🙏
If only I wrote my Theo (and Philo) reflections the way I wrote this at an, forgive my language, ungodly hour, a few hours before my flight. 🥲
Also —
Excuse me while I (over)use the term: nature prayer 😆 because my going back home to Ateneo now has a name to it, too!
To live for the hope of it all (a Swiftie through and through),
Maebs ❤️🩹
