02/07/2025
I FELL FIRST BUT HE FELL TOO LATE
Assalamualaikum Ina ami a bae and sa mga kapwa ko apolets. I just wanted to share my story and please hide my identity parin if ever man na maallowed pa mapost ang story ko na ito since this account is for my business purposes and I have reasons kaya hindi ko ginamit yung real account ko. And you'll know my reason why pag natapos niyo na ito basahin. Umiiwas lang sa possible na gulo.
Just call me Nez. Hindi ko alam paano at saan sisimulan ito. It might trigger me to feel that pain again pero sana makatulong para makamove on na ako agad pag nashare ko ito. Sana makabawas sa bigat ng p**iramdam ko. Lets start nung mga bata pa kami. He is Rjay, my childhood kaaway. I still remember na magkaklase kami since elementary up until marawi siege. Thats why our parents became friends too. Nung nag start na yung marawi siege, doon na nawala yung closeness namin because we had different paths though we're socmed friends pero hindi na kami naguusap that time. Up until nag college na kami, I was graduating that time nung nag reach out siya bigla, we became friends again just like we used to. It feels like walang nagbago. Not until umamin siya bigla that he likes me since then. I was shocked kasi he was my long time crush pero dahil magkaibigan kami, I was pushing my self to stop kasi ayoko mawala yung pinagsamahan namin not knowing that we're in the same page pala. NBSB ako, takot ako kila papa kaya hindi ako nag eentertain, not until nung umamin na nga siya. I was willing to take the risk that time, and he was saying na he will marry me nalang basta pumayag lang ako. Sobrang perfect ng timing that time, I was thinking na it was destined kasi magkababata kami and pinagtagpo ulit. We planned na after my graduation pwede na. Not until one of our common friend na guy reached out saying na Rjay is engaged. Gumuho mundo ko that time, that was my biggest heartbreak. I was taking my finals that time and I was so lost. Muntik na ako hindi makagraduate sa university. But Alhamdulillah, I made it.
After ko malaman, hindi ko siya kinausap. Pinipilit ko mag focus sa finals ko kahit durog na durog na ako. Nung nag start na yung practice ko sa graduation, doon lang ako nagkalakas na loob na tapusin na. We talked thru call. He was crying explaining na matagal na siyang nakapag promise magpakasal doon sa asawa niya ngayon. Hindi ako makakibo, gusto ko siya sigawan pero sobrang nasasaktan ako that time na hindi ako makapagbitaw ng salita. We've been through a lot. Halos sabay kaming nangarap, konting panahon lang kaming pinaghiwalay pero di ko ineexpect na yung panahon na iyon pa pala ang puputol talaga sa pinagsamahan namin, doon pala niya makikilala talaga yung para sa kaniya kahit ako naman yung kasama niya noon pa. Bumalik lang pala siya hindi dahil kami yung nakatadhana, huli na pala. Huli na niya na realize na gusto niya ako makasama bumuo ng pamilya pero naipangako na niya ito sa iba kaya hindi na pwede. After my graduation, umuwi muna kami ng province since lumaki kami sa luzon, gusto ng parents ko na masanay din kami sa mindanao. A month after my graduation, I saw his pictorial. He was smiling looking at the girl who is wearing a white gown. So it happened, nakasal na nga siya sa iba. Yung plano namin after my graduation, sa iba na nga niya natupad. I cried that time. Inaamin ko hanggang ngayon masakit parin. Kung kailan ready na ako, hindi naman pala pwede.
Ang hirap maka get over honestly, hindi ko gets bakit niya nagawa yon. Is he even aware na masama mag promise sa babae ng kasal kung hindi ito tutuparin? Oo galit ako sa kaniya sa part na pinaasa niya ako. Sana nung bumalik siya inamin nalang niya agad na malapit na siya ikasal para hindi na umabot sa ganito. Sobrang selfish niya sa part na gusto niya kami e keep both ni girl. Walang issue sa akin, hindi naman aware si girl. And hindi rin ako aware kaya hinayaan kong makapagusap pa kami noon. Its never my intention to hurt the girl, I wasn't aware too. Its up to him if naging honest siya sa misis niya, kung nashare ba niya ako sakaniya na for once I became part of his life. In time, magagawa ko din maging masaya para sa kaniya. Masakit parin hanggang ngayon sa totoo lang. pero I know, this is meant to happen. Ito yung nakatadhana para sa aming dalawa. Ayoko na din siya sisihin, nangyari na. Siguro na overwhelmed lang kami pareho since matagal na kaming magkakilala kaya hindi niya rin napigilan na makipagusap sa akin. Ayaw lang niya rin ako masaktan nung naramdaman niyang nagkaroon na ako ng feelings towards him.
I hope that kind of selfish love and this kind of pain won't find me again. Biktima lang din kami ng "pinagtagpo pero hindi tinadhana" Maybe in time, darating din yung deserve kong tao. May our story inspires girls out there to never settle for less, know your worth. And to boys, sana wag magbitaw ng salitang hindi niyo kayang panindigan, kasi we girls are soft hearted, we easily get attached kaya sana be Man enough. Lets be honest here, I know ayaw niyo din mafeel ng kahit sinong myembro ng family niyo yung trauma na naiiwan niyo sa taong nasaktan niyo, yun nalang isipin niyo. Or atleast be considerate enough kung hindi niyo kayang magpakalalake.