01/08/2024
A Plea for Peace: The Unending War Within
I'm no warrior at all, my Lord.
I'm just a survivor who's still grasping for something to hold on.
I'm barely living this life,
Na patuloy na dinaramdam ang maraming bagay.
I envy those who could live a normal life.
Heto lang naman ako masyadong marupok, madaling magapi ng simpleng pagsubok.
Ganito pala talaga pag may lamat na,
No bandage can patch this wounded mind, body, and soul of mine.
I tried healing myself - taking indefinite rest and talks that might release everything in me.
Kaso walang pagbabago.
I'm starting to find myself lost in this abandoned tunnel once again.
As I watch the last ray of light that might help me find my way out turn to void, I began to question myself if life's still worth the effort to live on.
Patuloy akong humahagilap ng rason para lang masabing 'Thank you Lord for giving me another day to live on" dahil pagod na rin akong sabihin kaakibat nito ang 'Lord thank you but can you let me rest cause I can't hold on any longer'
I'm no warrior at all.
I didn't even know there's a war I have to battle for.
I lived on, fighting for survival, to survived, to live a new life;
But no one told me my plight is useless for it's an endless fight.
All I want is to hear my voice ringing in delight.
Masyado bang mahirap maghangad ng kasiyahan sa isang payapang pamumuhay.
Tila ni isa sa aking mithiin ay di ko makamtan.
I'm only 22 but almost all my friends told me I sounded like someone who lived three lifetimes full.
I'm no warrior at all, so Lord God can you not make me a survivor of war.
For I don't want to carry the guilt, trauma, and chaos war brought upon I.
This exhausted child has gone through much by now.
Can't I be happy like other children living by.
Sa tuwing nasisilayan kong masaya mga kasing edaran ko, nais kong maging masaya para sa kanila dahil di nila naranasan mga karanasan ko.
The type of toxic kindness that binds my struggling soul further.
Ipipilit na lamang na sumaya para di maapektuhan ang iba habang pasan ang katagang 'serving kindness, treatment, and love that I craved of' for no one deserves to live such tragedy like I do.
-MIA
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