https://thefarmerswife.family.blog/, https://lifeasiseefit1.wordpress.com/

Life As I See Fit, Tabaco (2025)

04/09/2025

𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚛 𝚍𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐?

Fear of losing our loved ones, fear of aging, fear of not having enough time, fear of the unknown? And at the root it all ties back to the idea that life ends.

When I was a child, I don't really understand why there’s too much fuss when a person died. I felt the heaviness from the people who knew and loved the dead but I also felt unaffected--even if the person was a relative.

Maybe children are not supposed to grasp the reality of death yet or I still didn't understand the implications of death in the family.

I never understood the traditions surrounding death, either. Like babies and toddlers of the dead person's family being handed over the coffin or asking blessing from the dead by pressing their cold hands to your forehead. I think these traditions made me dislike going to funerals. I don't like the somber mood either and the many restrictions that cane with it.

As I grew older, I had my first experience of losing someone very dear to me. I thought I finally understood death a little better. But it also triggered a deeper fear--fear of losing another-- and it terrified me.

My understanding of death eventually evolved. It's not just about people passing anymore. Death took a new meaning --the end of relationships, loss of opportunities, letting go of habits that no longer serve me or refusal to tolerate toxic behaviors from the people around me.

A few days ago, I was worried about what legacy I am leaving if I go. And I realized something. All my fears--the loss, endings or even change--are rooted in the belief that something real could be taken away in a snap of a finger.

Lesson 163 of A Course In Miracles says:

𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚.

This is a far cry from what I associate death to be. This lesson is not easy to accept. Not when I see death everywhere--in the news, in my neighborhood, even in my own family.

But I remember Jesus and how his life demonstrated this.

His crucifixion looked final. To the world it was proof of death, that the body could be attacked.

But his resurrection showed something better--that life is beyond the body, that the spirit cannot be killed.

And we, being sons and daughters of God enjoy the same privilege. It's not that our body will not deteriorate or eventually die. The body is a vessel. But who we truly are--spirit--does not die. Because spirit is eternal--beyond time and beyond body.

𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙣𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙎𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚.

When I think about it this way, my worry dissipates. Fear loses its grip. Death no longer feels like a threat. It is no longer the enemy I once thought it was.

Every ending becomes a doorway to another world, to freedom. It's a shift. A reminder that the body may change, or people come and go, and situations rise and fall--who I truly am remains.

And in remembering there is no death, I remember who I truly am.

✨️𝙸𝚏 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚗𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚘𝚖, 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚢?

29/08/2025

𝙃𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙪𝙥 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙖 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙨𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙧?

Earlier today, I dozed off during meditation and slipped into a terrifying dream.

In that dream, a man was trying to kill everyone at an event. I was close to him so I ran through the flooded street and turned to a building on my left, that became a long hallway. When I looked back, the killer was chasing another and ran past me.

My heart was racing fast when the guide's voice awakened me. It took a little while to calm down. Interestingly, the lesson that we're reviewing this morning was about fear.

While I was running away from the man in that dream, something made me pause before looking back. And a thought popped up:

𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚖 𝙸 𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐? 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚊 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕.

And I realized, this dream was a reminder of sorts for me.

In the past, fear would usually left me stuck, finding it so hard to move or even shout for help. My feet are leaded, my screams silent, my body frozen. And whatever is trying to get me usually almost got me. Almost.

Because just before it did, I would wake up. And I would rack my brains up trying to remember every detail of that dream to find an interpretation or explanation for it. But I didn't really find any and the dream would usually fade away in the course of the day.

But today was different. Something shifted. This time I paused, I questioned. I remembered I have the power to change how I looked at my fears.

Lesson 160 of A Course in Miracles hit home.

𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙚. 𝙁𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚.

Fear, whether in dreams or waking life, symbolises separation, that we are apart from love. It is real only because we accept it as real. It is our ego's response to keep us from waking up to the truth.

I tried to give meaning to my dreams and made terrifying interpretations out of it. I tried to ran away from the things I fear.

I let fear dominate me because I believed it has power over me. And the more I give attention to it, the bigger it gets. That's why it feels so heavy and consuming.

But the truth is it needs our permission to live in us. I have forgotten that fear is a not real-- it is a projection of the mind.

When I remembered that I was the one giving it power, when I stopped running and faced it head on, it lost its grip on me. I saw it for what it was-- a shadow that disappears when I shine the light on it.

Fear cannot live in me because I am at home with God, I am safe in His love and fear has no place there. And the moment I accepted this, the heaviness was gone, the darkness lifted.

It still threatens me from time to time but now I have the weapon. I only need to remember that God is with me. And that is all that matters.

So the next time fear shows up--in dreams, in thoughts, in a moment in life-- pause and ask:

𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙖𝙢 𝙄 𝙧𝙪𝙣𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜? 𝙄𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡?

Because the truth is, it's not..

✨ Take a moment today to notice where fear shows up in your life. Instead of running, pause.

Remind yourself: “I am at home. Fear is the stranger here.”

26/08/2025

Lately, I’ve been experiencing dips as I go through my inner work. There are days I find myself doom scrolling or playing games. Not because I’m depressed, but because I’m avoiding something.

I recognize the pattern now. Every time I feel uncomfortable facing an issue, I procrastinate.
I tell myself I’ll deal with it later, or when I’m “ready.”

But this avoidance doesn’t sit well with me anymore.
It makes me feel uneasy.
Restless.
It leaves behind blank pages—like writer’s block, when all you can do is stare at the screen, waiting for the right words to appear.

It’s tempting to label this as laziness or lack of discipline, but it’s not. I see it clearly now—it’s resistance.

A part of me wants to protect myself from discomfort.
But the same part also keeps me from growth.

Because avoidance doesn’t make a problem shrink or go away. It lingers. It shows up again in quiet moments, asking to be felt, waiting to be resolved.

I’m beginning to understand that real growth doesn’t happen in smooth, easy spaces. What we try to avoid doesn’t vanish—it follows us until we stop running. The shift happens when we sit with our emotions and allow ourselves to feel the unease.

Of course, it’s not easy. Some days, I still choose distraction.

But that’s the point: I get to choose.
I get to decide whether to move forward or stay stuck.
And every time I choose to face myself—even in a tiny step—it feels like reclaiming a part of who I am.

Maybe that’s what inner work really is.

𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘱𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘧𝘪𝘹𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵.

Meeting myself where I am.
And choosing, again and again, to take one small step toward growth.

👉 If you’ve noticed this pattern in yourself too, pause and ask:

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘮 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘸?

Your answer might be the first step toward your own growth.

20/08/2025

𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚎?

This question often finds me in my moments of solitude. What am I leaving behind when it's my time to go?

Most times, I feel like I have done nothing remarkable or extraordinary to even be remembered. There's this fear that people around may not even know I'm gone. That I will be forgotten because I didn't matter.

And yet, I know that legacy is not just about being known for great achievements.

Looking back, I have kept parts of me hidden. I held back anad tried to make myself unremarkable for fear of being misunderstood, criticized or judged.
I chose silence when I could have spoken.
Comfort when I could have stretched.
Dimmed my light so others can shine.

Over the years, I've also come to realize that legacy is not built in one defining moment. It's formed in small ordinary choices we make everyday.

It's in the kindness we show when no one is looking.
In the patience we extend even when it's not easy.
It's in the courage to keep standing when life knocks us down.
In offering help without being asked.

The people I remember most are the ones who touched my life with their sincerity and kindness.

My teachers who made learning easier and more enjoyable because they are passionate about what they do.
My neighbors who looked out for each other and shared what little they have to those who have nothing to eat.
A stranger who paid for my fare when I was a student going home for semestral break because my money was short by a few pesos.

They're not famous or perfect. But they stood out for me because they made me feel seen and heard. They made me feel that I mattered.

That's the kind of legacy I want to leave behind. Not in the grand speeches or heroic acts but in consistently doing what feels true to me.

When someone remembered and honors me for something I've done for them--no matter how small-- that's when I realize I am on the right path.

So I'll keep showing up even when fear tells me to shrink.
I will use my voice, share my light and help in any way I can.
Because maybe legacy is also giving others permission to do the same.

What about you? If you were to write down the legacy you want to leave, what would it say?

19/08/2025

As a child, I wasn’t the type to ask too many questions. Maybe because I preferred to find things out on my own.

My aunt once told me a story that still makes me smile. I was about three or four years old, dressed up to visit my father who was in the hospital after an accident. While everyone was busy preparing, they didn’t notice I had already slipped out the door. I wandered off, made it all the way to the market, and was happily exploring when a neighbor recognized me and took me home. My aunt said I was so excited, narrating everything I saw on my little adventure.

That’s how I’ve always been. Curious. But instead of asking, I searched. I wanted to take a different path, to see things for myself.

When one way didn’t work, I tried another. Even if it took longer. Even if asking someone who already have the answer might have been easier. Curiosity made me restless but also resilient. It taught me patience. It gave me the courage to try.

And that’s the beauty of curiosity—you never really know what you’ll find. You stay open. You welcome possibilities. You give yourself permission to explore, learn, and grow.

Of course, not every discovery is pleasant. Sometimes the answer I find is disappointing, but it always leads me to another door, another idea, another chance to expand.

Curiosity also shapes the way I connect with people. I don’t stop at small talk when I feel a spark of energy with someone. I ask questions, but with care, mindful to respect boundaries.

For me, curiosity is not just about seeking answers. It’s about deepening connections—with people, with experiences, and with myself. It keeps life fresh. It keeps learning alive.

And maybe that’s the real gift of curiosity—it reminds you there’s always more to discover if you’re willing to look closer.

👉 How does curiosity show up in your life? Do you ask, or do you search?

14/08/2025

No one is ever too far gone for God’s grace. Not you. Not me. Not anyone.

Have you ever felt you’ve messed up so badly, drifted too far, or fallen so low that you believed God wouldn’t want anything to do with you anymore?

Picture this. You did something wrong and promised to change, to stop, to do better.

But you failed—not just once, but over and over—until you started to believe God had lost His patience with you.

So you pulled away from Him. Maybe you stopped going to church or even stopped praying. You convinced yourself you didn’t deserve His love and forgiveness.

The more you distanced yourself, the deeper you sank, until you couldn’t carry it anymore. And in your desperation, you surrendered. You let go. You cried out to Him.

And that was all it took to turn your life around. Because God’s grace has no limits. You don’t need to earn it. And He will never withdraw it, no matter how many times you’ve failed.

Each day you wake up is proof of His grace—a fresh chance to feel His unwavering love.

There are also days when everything is going well. You’re on top of your game, you have more than enough, you’re living the way God teaches, and it feels like you don’t need His help.

But in the good times, it’s easy to forget that everything you have came from Him. That even in your best moments, you are still human—imperfect, vulnerable to temptation, and unable to stand without Him.

God’s grace is not just a safety net for when you fall. It’s the very ground you stand on every single day.

If this spoke to you, take a moment today to thank Him—for both the days you stood tall and the days He carried you.

13/08/2025

𝙏𝙬𝙤 𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙙𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙬𝙤𝙤𝙙, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄— 𝙄 𝙩𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚.

These lines from Robert Frost is one of my favourites. They speak to something I've felt for as long as I can remember---the pull to stray from the crowd and take a different path.

I've never one to follow a certain path where everyone is headed because it's familiar.

I don't go out of my way to be different just for the sake of it, either.

Maybe it's the rebel in me or just the quiet voice that says "This is not for you. There's something else."

I'm not a rule-breaker who break rules recklessly. But I've also never been comfortable following rules that keeps everyone in line without asking why.

In a world where you are shaped from childhood to be someone else's idea of a perfectly behaved person, it’s a form of rebellion to follow your own path.

We've been told to how to speak, how to behave, what to believe, what direction to take, what success should look like.

By the time we've grown, we've lost our sense of identity and become perfect replicas of what society expects us to be.

And when you try to carve your own path and step out of that mold, you are labeled as rebellious, selfish, stubborn, a black sheep in a sea of whites.

But the truth is: following your own path doesn't mean rejecting the world.
It's about honoring yourself.
It's about living your life the way that feels real and right for you, even when you feel misunderstood.
It's not about trying to please people by living up to their expectations.

Authenticity is not just about being unique.
It's about walking into the unknown without betraying yourself.
It's about doing what matters most to you, doing what makes you most alive and happy.
It's deciding for yourself who you want to be.
It's about living your reality even when it's unpopular.
Even when it's lonely.
Even when you're alone.

And that choice--that small, consistent decision of choosing what's aligned with who you are--that's what makes all the difference.

Have you ever taken "a road less traveled"? How was it? Share your stories in the comment. 🥰

12/08/2025

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞--𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬.

And I learned it the hard way.

One comment that rubbed the wrong way was all it took to ruin my mood completely. It wasn't even a big deal, but I snapped back without thinking. By the time I regain my calm, hurtful words were spoken that I can no longer take back.

I felt that familiar regret. If I had paused for a second, I could have handled the situation differently.

That situation reminded me of something I heard from a webinar:

𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥

And it hit me. It made me stop and think.

Because the world will always be full of noise and chaos. It's something we can't control.

But we can-control how we react to the situations or circumstances that challenges our bliss.

Triggers aren’t always about people intentionally pushing our buttons.
Sometimes, it’s the situation itself—the delay, the misunderstanding, the unexpected change.
If we react without thinking, we’re letting that moment control us.

I realized that whatever is happening outside is often a reflection of what's inside of you. If you carry a lot of unresolved hurt, frustration and resentment it will show in how easily one small act or harmless comment can set you off. It's like touching an open wound--even a gentle touch hurts instantly.

But here's the thing: you have the power to choose how you respond.
You can pause.
You can breath.
You can decide how you view the situation before you react.

This doesn't mean you stop feeling emotions.
It means you stop letting emotions run the show.

Because the real measure of bliss is not how calm you are when everything is perfect. It's how steady you remain when your bliss is threatened.

And when you learn to guard that bliss, no one and nothing can pull you into the storm you didn't choose.

That's where your bliss lies.

28/07/2025

What does courage look like?

Is it facing obstacles with the heart and determination of a champion?

Is it defending your loved ones from danger or harm even if it puts your life in jeopardy?

Is it going forward even if you're uncertain about what will happen?

Is it spending days, months, years away from your loved ones trying to give them a good life while you deprive yourself of even the basic stuff working in a foreign country?

Or is it the quiet strength when you choose to show up everyday even when you feel like giving up?

Most people think courage looks bold. Like making big moves or shouting your truth.

Me? It's the firm decision to sit down with my emotions and face the real reasons why I keep avoiding the challenges I'm faced with.

It's recognising that something needed to change if I wanted to move forward. Or risk being in a cycle--same problem, different circumstances.

I used to think I needed to overcome fear. But I learned I just needed to walk with it.

Because courage doesn't mean being fearless.

It's giving yourself permission to change.
Even when your voice shakes.
Even when you're scared.
Even when you don't know what lies ahead but you're still willing to find out.
Even when you're not ready.
And even when no one else gets it.

Courage is a decision.
To stop waiting to feel ready.
To stop forcing things.
And start trusting the small steps.

You don't have to rush.
But you do need to choose.

What are you being called for to be brave right now?

27/07/2025

Even in solitude, you're never alone.

Ask—and the Spirit meets you there.

Luke 11:13 reminds us: the Father gives freely to those who seek Him.

Quiet your mind and you'll be more aware of what your soul needs.

Because maybe what you're feeling isn't emptiness but an invitation.

What are you asking from Him today?

24/07/2025

Matthew 13: 12-13

Some truths won’t make sense until you’re ready.

Not because they’re hidden…
But because your heart isn’t open.

Jesus spoke in parables not to confuse—
but to invite deeper seeing.

It’s not about how much you hear.
It’s about how much you’re willing to see.

Life As I See Fit

04/09/2025

29/08/2025

26/08/2025

20/08/2025

19/08/2025

14/08/2025

13/08/2025

12/08/2025

28/07/2025

27/07/2025

24/07/2025

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