10/02/2022
A MOTHER'S ADVICE TO HER DAUGHTER BEFORE MARRIAGE
“Oh my dear daughter, take from me these 10 qualities; they will be for you a stored treasure and a reminder:
1 • Accompany him with contentment and live with him in a good manner.
2 • Listen to him and obey him.
3 & 4 • Take care of his eyes and take care of his nose, so do not let him see anything ugly from you and only let him smell pleasant smells from you. Kohl is the best beautification while water is the sweetest of the rare perfumes.
5 & 6 • Pay attention to his meal times and be quiet during his sleep moments, because the heat of hunger is like a burning flame and disturbing his sleep will anger him.
7 & 8 • Take care of his home and his wealth and look over him, his servants, and his children. Protecting his wealth shows good judgement, while watching over his servants and children shows good management.
9 & 10 • Do not expose his secrets and do not disobey his command. If you expose his secrets, he will never feel safe with you, and if you disobey his command, his heart will boil with anger towards you.
“Beware of showing happiness in front of him when he is sad, and do not express sorrow in front of him when he is happy. In the first scenario, it shows negligence, and the second scenario will cause him sadness.
Show him utmost respect and the utmost honour, and agree with him as much as possible; this will increase your companionship. And know— you will not attain what you love until you prefer his happiness over your happiness and his desires over your desires concerning what you like and dislike. May Allāh grant you what is best.”
Book: A message Exclusively to the Muslim Woman
By Shaykh Jamāl al Hārithi
Translated by Rasheed Barbee
Authentic Statements Publications
P. 31, 32
