05/10/2022
All aboard the feel train 😭🥲
So I posted in stories today about my emotional state in the morning. Here’s why:
1. Kids started school from Monday and today was their first independent ride to school in the school bus. This is the first time ever they have ever been without both parents.
2. Manha is too attached with me and so when she realised I’m not sitting in the bus, she cried and didn’t wanna let go. Although she was fully ready because we have been mentally preparing her for this and until today she had been saying: Mama you stay home I will go in the school bus myself.
But it was expected of her to become upset.
3. For a whole hour I sat quietly and shared this time with Fahad for a while then he left for work too. I kept calling the bus staff to ensure Manha and Minhal are okay and not crying. I was told that they’re playing now with their friends in the same bus when they sat in.
4. This was the first time I was ever alone for a whole of 6.5 hours and to be honest I was going a little crazy because for all this time post kids, I have been a mom every single second! And when the kids were gone, I didn’t know what to do with my time 🥲
Fahad kept telling me it’s gonna be alright and kept telling me to go sleep but I couldn’t sleep at all 🫠 - even though I’ve been extremely exhausted since we let our househelp go and so I’ve been managing it all myself then the school routine is intense to settle into (for now I hope)
Call me an emotional mom but can you blame me, my babies are 5 and 3 years old- these girls are all big now and I guess I’m just realising they’re on their journey to explore and become independent in a lot of ways!
So therefore I’m allowed a minute, an hour, a day or even a week- to absorb it all: the change. This change that us parents want to adapt as soon as the kids are born but also heartbroken and torn when it becomes all too real..
Hence this an homage- to us parents, becoming whole to ourselves again as we receive some freedom but also to waving a part of ours goodbye forever.
I wish all the parents good luck and if I ever undermined this experience before experiencing it before for anyone else ever- I am truly sorry. 🥲
Note: image is googled.