08/10/2025
If you think regulation means never getting upset, youâll spend your life feeling like youâre failing.
Youâll wonder why some things still bother you. Why you still feel angry, anxious, or impatient sometimes.
And youâll think, I should be calmer by now.
Regulation is flexibility.
A healthy nervous system moves, it doesnât stay flat.
When something stressful happens, your heart beats faster, your muscles tense, your breath changes. And when the stress passes, everything slowly settles again.
That coming back is regulation.
When this natural rhythm gets interrupted by trauma or chronic stress, the body forgets how to come back. Thatâs when we get stuck in patterns of anxiety, exhaustion, shutdown, or overreaction.
So being regulated isnât about staying calm all the time.
Itâs about recovering faster, staying connected, and not collapsing every time something challenges you.
You can still get angry, feel stress, raise your voice, cry and be regulated.
Because your body knows how to return to balance instead of getting stuck there.
Thatâs the difference between calm and capacity.