The New Singapore

The New Singapore The New Singapore is a commentary series by PN Balji. GE2020 diminished the percentage share of the

28/07/2022

LAWRENCE WONG MUST MOVE AWAY FROM THE SAME-SAME APPROACH

by
PN Balji

It is a quality that you can’t but admire. The Singapore government has this ability to get its politicians, civil servants, grassroots people and even businessmen and women to put up a show of unity when there is a need to close ranks and sing just one tune. Dissent, especially open dissent, is frowned up.

When PM announced that Lawrence Wong has been picked as the leader of the team that will rule the country, the impression foisted upon the public is that everything is hunky dory. The truth is something else.

Lurking in the announcement are cracks in the narrative that this political succession is not going according to script. First, it is the decision to get the zen-like wise old man, Khaw Boon Wan, to see who in the Cabinet wants who to be the leader. It is clear that the PM had wanted somebody who is generally respected to get the succession going. Khaw was a senior minister and chairman of the ruling PAP. It is a departure from the previous two processes that saw a small group representing the next generation leaders pick their leader.

Second, the decision by PM and his two senior deputies to take themselves out of the decision-making process was not just rare but also strange. Why couldn’t he have followed past practice of getting their own kind to pick their leader, like they did in the past two successions? Even if there was disagreement among the 4G leaders, isn’t it the responsibility of the PM to step in to act?

And Khaw’s involvement in the choice saw an “overwhelming” majority of the Cabinet, including the 4G leaders, choose Lawrence Wong as the leader. But four of the 19 were not for Wong. That shows some kind of open dissent against Wong.

A rock-solid political succession is one of Singapore’s plus points. But this time round, it has been too slow and a little disruptive. The man originally anointed to become the leader, Heng Swee Keat, appeared clueless and confused when he spoke about his East Coast plan after his nomination for the last election in 2020 was announced. Then he threw in the towel after the PM said he was not stepping aside just yet as he felt obliged to hand over power after Covid-19 has been tamed. Heng felt his runway has been cut short. He was already 60.

Now that Wong has been picked as the heir apparent, the question to ask is this: What kind of leader will he be? Does he have the smarts to ride all the rough challenges the new world is throwing up and take the country to a new era.

His biggest test came when he was made co-chair of the Covid task force. With the backing of the entire government machinery and the support of an obedient public, Wong and his team managed to tame Covid.

Bigger tests are on the horizon. Singaporeans will want to know how Wong is going to resolve the sticky problem of foreigners working here. Intellectually, the argument for outsiders to add to the pool is something that cannot be disputed. But emotionally, it is a very divisive issue as many remember how the government went overboard in bringing in foreigners without any consideration for the feeling of Singaporeans. What angered many was the fact that the government, known for its strategic thinking and scenario planning, lifted the floodgates for foreigners without thinking through the after effects like the housing and transport crunch that their entry can cause.

Trust, until then a foreign word in Singapore, began to take root. Twelve years later, the political leadership has yet to shake off this albatross round its neck. One of Wong’s priorities is to retry and restore this trust.

Trust will again be needed as racial polarisation crops up now and then with more and more Singaporeans not being coy to talk about it. There are issues like Chinese privilege, racial divide and the divide between Chinese Singaporeans and Chinese immigrants and Indian Singaporeans and those who come from India. The frustrations Indian Singaporeans have shown against those from India can boil over in no time. Again, it falls on Wong’s shoulders to carry the ground not just with subtlety but with some hard talk on the realities he sees as the PM of the country.

Foreign relations, especially with China, are simmering. Singapore has played a delicate and difficult balancing game between the US and China as the two powers jostle for economic and supremacy. Singaporeans have yet to hear what his views are on this potential time bomb.

Wong’s plate is overflowing. In trying to clear the issues one by one, the one quality he needs is to be his own man. He cannot use the old political playbook and talk about Singapore’s limited talent pool, the dangers of allowing the racial and foreigner divide to boil over and the need for Singapore to manage the China-US economic and security rivalry behind closed doors.

Wong needs an independent streak to manage these fissures. More than that, he needs a rebellious mindset that Lee Kuan Yew showed in the early days.

* This and more on Singapore, get Transition: The Story of PN Balji, in all bookstores now.

24/01/2022

Tackle Psychosocial Factors Before Attempting to Rehabilitate and Reintegrate Ex-Offenders.

By MD Saleem

Key changes to the Prisons Bill which was passed on the 11th of January 2022, will now enable inmates to take up skills training, education and work in the community before they finish serving their sentences — under a new programme called Employment Preparation Scheme (EmPS).
In a land that has not shied away from imposing harsh punitive laws for criminal and drug offences, this seems like an enlightened approach: reskilling ex-offenders to become productive citizens even while they are technically still serving their sentences. However, it is worth noting that EmPs is an off-shoot of several other programmes that aim to reskill and reintegrate ex-offenders upon their release.
Some of the Community-Based Programmes (CBPs) in the past include the Work-Release Scheme (WRS), Halfway-House Schemes and Home Detention Scheme (HD). Recently, the Conditional Remission System (CRS), which seeks to deter ex-offenders from re-offending by subjecting them to mandatory aftercare conditions upon their release came into effect. The Mandatory Aftercare Scheme (MAS) is an aftercare regime that includes counselling as well as case management for a group of ex-offenders at higher risk of re-offending, and also for those who need more support to reintegrate into society.
However, despite the well-intentioned efforts of the Government, historical data seems to suggest that these programmes have not been particularly successful in preventing participants from re-offending.
Approximately 80% of inmates in Singapore are drug offenders, hence implementing any CBP should have this target group in mind to produce the intended positive effects in society.
From 2007 till 2020, a total of 16,202 inmates were incarcerated due to drug-related offences and in the same period, 13,547 inmates were released. Interestingly, the completion rate for inmates placed on CBPs during this period of time averages around 86%. (Reference: data.gov.sg)
If CBPs were an effective measure to keep these ex-offenders from relapsing into the vicious cycle of addiction, most of those who completed their CBPs should have remained drug-free. However, this is not the case. The five-year recidivism rate for the 2011 to 2015 release cohorts were 43.1%, 43.2%, 41%, 41.3% and 41.7% respectively. Approximately four-fifths of the inmate population have been incarcerated before with the majority being repeat offenders. (Reference: Written Reply to Parliamentary Question on the Five-Year Recidivism Rate for Each of the Years from 2011 to 2015, by Mr K Shanmugam, Minister for Home Affairs and Minister for Law)
Merely placing ex drug-offenders in CBPs that provide early release and employment does not address the reality that addiction is a psychological disease of the mind. For holistic rehabilitation to take root and produce results, the Government must first acknowledge the fact that drug addiction is a disease. Drug offenders should be seen as patients requiring treatment and many studies have proven the correlation between drug abuse and long-term debilitating psychological and physiological effects for the user.
Most ex-drug offenders tend to grapple with complex problems in many aspects of living. Due to impaired social and vocational skills, finding gainful employment becomes an uphill task. Long periods of incarceration would have also disrupted the family nucleus with many facing divorces from spouses, juvenile delinquency with their children and trust issues within their immediate family circle. Some would no longer be welcome at home and tend to put up with their friends and acquaintances immediately after release. They also face mental illnesses and a fear of technological advancements that have evolved at such a tremendous pace that they even struggle with a current basic requirement such as using the SingPass mobile app.

Reporting for the routine urine testing adds another potent mix to this volatile situation. The urine testing system introduces a newly released ex drug-offender back to the same network of recovering drug addicts and this is the point where they update their contacts and even get introduced to drugs all over again. Drug pushing during the routine urine testing at the various police stations and in the various halfway houses is nothing new, although the statistics of ex drug-offenders who relapsed in such environments is not known to the public.
To ameliorate these problems, CBP programmes should also focus on helping ex drug-offenders regain their physical and mental wellness and assist to treat existing psychiatric issues due to prolonged drug abuse. Such programmes must include the immediate family members as stakeholders in the recovery of their patients and even include the exploration of spiritual issues and recreational activities.
Counsellors who go into prison to teach life skills and coping strategies must have relevant knowledge about substance abuse, recovery and maintenance: many are armed with some theoretical knowledge but little experience on the ground to understand the issues their clients face upon their release. To understand the behaviours and personalities of ex drug-offenders, counsellors could consider spending time mingling with their beneficiaries onsite in the halfway houses and not reduce their interactions to just the weekly counselling sessions. They should also visit the families to understand the family backgrounds and trigger factors of their beneficiaries.
Once they are ready to be employed, a centralized system of skilled registered job coaches should oversee the programme by mentoring and coaching their beneficiaries. They should make regular checks on them to understand how they are coping at work, their challenges, family support as well as their financial wellbeing. Job coaches should also do regular check-ins with the employers since not all employers know how to handle recovering drug offenders in their workforce. Job coaches are also well placed to intervene and assist their beneficiaries to apply for financial assistance from SSOs to help tide them while stabilising in the job.
Finally, do away with regular urine-testing at the police stations to eradicate networks of ex drug-offenders from sprouting during these sessions. It is a basic demand and supply situation: opportunistic drug pushers who are themselves reporting for urine testing will reach out to recovering addicts in these sessions and tempt them with that first, free puff of the drug. All it takes is one puff: the entire cycle of relapse and incarceration will start all over again, destroying the efforts of the Government in rehabilitating this group of people. With the advancement of testing procedures, hair testing is able to detect drugs in the system for a few months. Ad-hoc urine testing with staggered timings is another way to ensure that supervisees do not use these sessions for nefarious purposes.
Reskilling and job placing ex drug-offenders is important but force-feeding them with job placement and skills training without addressing their deep-seated psychosocial issues is akin to applying a band-aid to a festering wound that is already filled with pus. The sum total of a CBP must be a holistic treatment programme and not just one that tags its participant with an electronic device and expects him or her to automatically become a law abiding citizen who has miraculously overcome the disease of addiction.
Since the first Community Based Rehabilitation Programme to date, the programmes should have reduced the relapse rates of the participants but today, we see a five-year recidivism rate that is hovering around the 40% margin.
Treat ex-drug offenders as patients and not as ex-criminals. That would be an enlightened first step in getting this equation right.

10/01/2022

Catch Them Before They Fall Through the Cracks

By MD Saleem

It is an irrefutable fact that ex-offenders have many opportunities to upgrade their skills in prison which enable them to prepare for eventual integration into mainstream society upon their release. Many harbour dreams of landing meaningful jobs where they can earn enough to sustain themselves and their families once they return home. While the road to re-integration is long and arduous, there are many avenues for welfare agencies to render their assistance and facilitate this fragile transition.

For instance, one of the greatest challenges for ex-offenders is having enough money in their pockets to fund their transport, housing and food expenditures to kick-start their lives, the moment they leave prison. Before their release, almost all ex-offenders have to attend mandatory pre-release counselling sessions where they are informed that they can seek the support and assistance of Social Service Organisations (SSOs) upon release.

My friend, H, was released from prison recently. With little cash in hand and a heart full of hope, he appealed for assistance from a Govt welfare organisation. However, he was rejected on the grounds that he has a roof over his head and a wife who was gainfully employed. He was further told to actually seek assistance from her. While we all know that the family is the first pillar to lean on, is it fair to burden ex-offenders immediately after their release? I wonder how this organisation managed to assess his entire household income/expenditure flow through a five minute telephone conversation with his wife. Did the organisation actually assess his financial situation by sieving through his financial records, bills, overheads etc.? The answer is no.

When social welfare organisations transfer the burden of providing much needed assistance to the immediate family, a Pandora’s Box of problems is laid open. Ex-convicts often leave their families with unsettled obligations, financial problems and emotional turmoil when they are incarcerated and H is no exception. Immediately after gaining his freedom, he was expected to further burden his wife financially. On what basis can he do this? Has he earned back the trust, the bond or even the right as a husband, father or son towards his family? All these factors would only fall in place with the passage of time and through positive action on his part.
When a roof over your head and a wife who earns a living become reasons for failing to obtain social welfare assistance, such rejections form a rather stereotypical, template response that amplify the lack of compassion. Should H be destitute and living on the streets before he qualifies as 'needy'?

Welfare organisations must not pre-judge the unique circumstances and needs of people like H, for it demeans their efforts in trying to walk the straight and narrow. H earnestly fulfilled all required tasks set forth by the organisation for almost a month only to be turned down in five minutes. To qualify for social assistance which is normally reserved for the needy in society, H had to attend an interview session in another Govt agency, submit his resume and attend some job fairs to prove that he was sincere in becoming gainfully employed. After a month, he was told that he does not qualify as his wife was earning an income. The organisation failed to consider a host of other legitimate reasons that should qualify H for assistance.

H eventually secured a personal loan and was forced to enter into the vicious cycle of debt to kick-start his life again. While he did not let this setback affect his aspirations, I am deeply saddened when I think of other ex-offenders who will be placed in a similar predicament upon release. Being fragile, this unnecessary hindrance may become the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back – relapse and another lengthy incarceration.
Welfare organisations play a crucial role in preserving an inclusive society that does not marginalise anyone due to their backgrounds. Catching the vulnerable amongst us before they fall through the cracks due to bureaucratic morass encapsulates that spirit of inclusivity.

I consider this not a rejection, but a failure of the system that is in place to help ex-offenders. Having a whole slew of schemes means nothing when assistance does not reach the ex-offender who is in need, due to the immense magnitude of red-tape and pre-qualifications that continue to plague social assistance in Singapore.

By the way, H appealed and tried to qualify for S$300 to tide over for a month while he attended interviews. He failed to qualify for that S$300.

WHERE ARE OUR HEROES?PN BALJIIn a land that is starved of national heroes, Loh Kean Yew is a Godsend. The boy (yes, I li...
22/12/2021

WHERE ARE OUR HEROES?

PN BALJI

In a land that is starved of national heroes, Loh Kean Yew is a Godsend. The boy (yes, I like to call him that) has done for Singapore what no body has done since Joseph Schooling stormed into the pool in Rio, beat his idol Michael Phelps and broke the Olympic record in the 100 metres butterfly race.

It has taken Singapore five years to celebrate another hero. Loh did it with not just killer shots but also with his boyish charm and humility. And we have a world champion in the almost forgotten sport of badminton.

Every time I watch him on video and read about this gentle giant, I feel a sense of pride and elation. Loh, who was headhunted by the Singapore Sports School from Penang, falls on his knees and kisses the Singapore flag on his T-shirt after every victory. His caring spirit was shown after he was told that he has been upgraded on his return flight to Singapore. He asked if his coach and physiotherapist would also be upgraded. And they were also moved up. This is the kind of old-world charm about this boy that makes you want to follow him.

He is a lovable kid, unlike many other stars who walk with their noses up in the air. Desmond Tan, the general manager of the Badminton Academy in the Singapore Sports School and the man who spotted the raw talent in him when he was just 10 years old, said:

“I first saw him play when he was about 10 or 11. He was warming up with his older brother. That was when he caught my eye. His racket skill, the timing of swing, the sweet spot with his racket and the variation of his shot all impressed me. Whether he is in control of his rally or under pressure, he was able to play with ease.”

But why has it taken five years after Schooling’s feat in the Olympics to celebrate another hero?

I can think of two reasons.

One, Lee Kuan Yew took centre stage for too long that it was impossible for anybody to even be in his shadow. Singapore was this man’s story, or at least the way he told it, and that compelling narrative was not easy to better. The messenger’s control of the message and medium just couldn’t be beaten.

And the former PM was dead set against others developing a cult following that would rival his. No statues, no glorifying remarks and definitely no cult following. And that view was so pervasive that it filtered into every aspect of our lives.

Two, from day one of the PAP rule, the Singapore mantra was against individualism; the focus was more on team spirit. The bee became the symbol of productivity and teamwork. Joyce Tan posted in Facebook: “My childhood understanding of productivity revolved around industrious and hardworking bees, where cooperation helps make things.”

That kind of propaganda, though useful during the early days of Singapore’s industrialisation, makes no sense in today’s world of invention and innovation where successful individuals operate alone locked up in garages (think Bill Gates) to think up the next big thing.

Hopefully Schooling and Loh’s victories will help break that cycle.

Meanwhile, let us bask in what his friend told me: “He is very humble and hasn’t changed from when he first broke onto the scene six years ago. Even though he is now the world champion, he is still the same unassuming young man.”

Tomorrow, how? The Misunderstood Paper’s battle to survivePN BALJIThe New Paper’s latest move to go fully digital is its...
15/12/2021

Tomorrow, how? The Misunderstood Paper’s battle to survive

PN BALJI

The New Paper’s latest move to go fully digital is its final stand to try and squeeze out some breathing space for itself in a media world that has seen many print newspapers fold up without ceremony. No reader, no advertiser will shed a tear or organise a fund-raising campaign to keep it alive. That is the empirical evidence the world over and Singapore is no exception.

The paper went from a lunch-time read to be given away free in the morning in 2016, 28 years after it tried to fulfil a wish Lee Kuan Yew had for an English paper that will have content easily digestible for a readership that was finding The Straits Times too boring and highbrow in its approach to news. Lee doesn’t do anything without thinking about his political party’s survival. A section of the Singapore public being cut off from newspapers meant that pro-government news will be out of reach to them and thus might harm his political party’s fortune.

After a bad start, TNP was a big hit with its screaming headlines, football coverage that used action graphics, photographs and biting commentaries to woo the reader. Then there were the s*x and gore stories that upset parents, some of whom banned their children from getting a copy of the paper. Even a senior editor was told by his wife not to take the paper home.

But what has been forgotten is the paper’s serious side. Government news was broken down into digestible form and the paper covered political and international news that surprised many. Even serious-minded readers like Chan Heng Chee decided to read it.

The way TNP reported the 1991 election victories of three Opposition candidates was unthinkable in a newspaper industry that pulled its punches when reporting on politics. TNP reporters went to the ground to talk to voters in the three wards – Hougang, Bukit Gombak and Nee Soon. They wanted the answer to just one question: Why did you vote against the PAP? The reporters were told not to censor the quotes; leave it to the editors to do the editing.

Two quotes were memorable. Said one Hougang resident: “Part of the problem is that Mr Tang (Tang Guan Seng, the defeated PAP candidate) didn’t come across as being friendly. He doesn’t appear to be approachable. I have never met him before.’’ A voter in Bukit Batok said of her PAP MP, Seet Ai Mee: “When I met her at the meet-the-people session, she gave me a cold look.”

That was bold political reporting hardly seen in Singapore before and now.

Then came the Internet. All the sensational reports by TNP began to dry up as readers got them free. Foreign soccer news and commentaries were available with the touch of a few buttons. Salacious stories were freely available on sites, some felt, that showed p**n stuff. TNP began to lose its relevance.

And the question to ask is: Tomorrow, how? Its editor, Lim Han Ming, said in a column in its farewell print edition on Friday they will go for human interest stories. It is an euphemism nearly every journalist uses these days. To me, it means being able to get under the skin of the reader, understand what he needs, know his/her thinking.

Today’s reader is spoilt for choice. There is an overload of information as he/she grapples with the demands of daily life. For some, it is putting food on the table. For others it is finding time to have decent conversations with family and friends.

What do Singaporeans really want? If The New Paper team can crack this question, they will be half way to finding light at the end of the tunnel.

But do they have the right people who can shape the content to suit the needs of the readers? The paper has seen a shake-out of staff as some of their best talents have been deployed to other newspapers as it cut costs to stay afloat.

The task is an immense one and the future is made worse by an audience whose loyalty cannot be taken for granted. The one ray of hope is that SPH Media Trust, the company hived off from SPH, doesn’t have to emphasise profit. That gives them some breather to understand the role that TNP can play in Singapore’s media market to celebrate slice-of-life stories that are relevant and purposeful. That is good enough reason to keep TNP going.

I wish the team success.

The Raeesah lie and the millennial political party By PN Balji The Raeesah Khan affair has been blowing hot and cold for...
09/12/2021

The Raeesah lie and the millennial political party

By PN Balji

The Raeesah Khan affair has been blowing hot and cold for the last week with many people groping in the dark trying to hunt down THE truth. My friend was so exasperated with the twists and turns that he told his colleague: Go read Pravda (Truth in Russian).

Raeesah lied, there is no doubt about that. Then she told the Committee of Privileges a few damaging things about the Workers’ Party leadership. I watched the video of her appearance before the committee and she appeared cool, collected and composed, answering questions the way an experienced politician would. She was emotionless and judicious with her words. For a 27-year-old, it was a masterly act, I must say.

There is no doubt this is the biggest crisis for the Workers’ Party under Pritam Singh. Singh and his MPs are very millennial in the way they speak and act. The dead giveaway came when the Leader of Opposition used the phrase “give her space”, referring to Raeesah’s disclosure that she is a survivor of s*xual assault when she was studying overseas.

His colleagues also display their millennial credentials on their sleeves. In fact, that was one reason why the party defeated the PAP in Sengkang GRC, which has many young residents. The voters must have seen a reflection of their aspirations and lifestyle in those of the WP politicians.

But in the Raaesah case, the WP leadership went overboard in wanting to stick to their millennial credentials. They gave her too much space and time to come clean with Parliament and the public. It must have been in line with millennial thinking. Don’t be judgemental is their mantra. And telling her that she should get her act together and come clean at an appropriate time must have been in line with the thinking of the party’s younger members. Look at the words old timers like Low Thia Khiang and Sylvia Lim used when they responded to disgraced former MP Yaw Shin Leong. They said they categorically deny that they told Yaw, who came out of the woodwork to say he was told to keep the dirty secret of his extra marital affairs under wraps when Low was the secretary general. It is not the kind of language Singh and his MPs would have used.

The millennial brand is an image that has strong legs. If nothing else, it moves away from the PAP- Lite slogan the many have stuck on the party. Also, politics here is shifting with many younger voters wanting a more humane approach to politics that will talk to them and not down to them. If you have noticed the PM’s speeches of late, they seem to urge his people to move towards a softer approach.

But the ruling party has always been a broad church, trying to satisfy as many people as possible. WP is under a new leadership and being in the opposition it can afford to strike out with a new brand image. How far it will push and what it will mean for its electoral success in future elections is anybody’s guess.

Now to the matter of the release of the testimony of Raeesah and her two legislative assistants before the committee had concluded its investigation. The committee explained it away by saying that it was to keep Parliament informed and said it did not contravene any laws. But what did not go down well with some people is the point that there was no need to release the transcripts to the media. And at such a late hour of 1130 pm at that.

As one observer asked that if the intention was to inform Parliament, then why the need to tell the media? What was even more troubling was that the committee’s decision had failed the fairness test as Singh was not given the chance to respond to the accusation that he had told Raeesah to stick to the lie until she was pressed.

It is turning out to be a messy affair. Singh has a lot to unpick and the committee has a lot of explaining to do.

Photo credit: The Straits Time

FORGOTTEN PARENTSBy P N BALJIMy grandson has entered teen hood. I asked him how he felt about this new stage in his life...
01/12/2021

FORGOTTEN PARENTS

By P N BALJI

My grandson has entered teen hood. I asked him how he felt about this new stage in his life. “Nothing lah. It is all the same. But I am expecting an increase in my allowance,’’ he said with a cheeky smile and looked to see the reaction on his mother’s face. She knows her son too well; her face was expressionless.

Arrian is firm about one thing. “I want to be an aeronautical engineer,” he told a friend of mine. I asked him a pointed question: Do you have a girlfriend? His instant answer floored me: “Girlfriend will suck money out of you.” I have no idea where he got this idea from. But I let his statement go, hoping to raise it at another time.

When my children were growing up, such questions were never asked. Today, parenting has become very different and complex. With both parents working and with children exposed to tech gadgets and peer influence, we are very watchful about what they see, talk about and do.

Grandparents have a different role to play in this new world; that of adjunct parents. The role is a complementary one where we watch carefully how the parents interact with the children and keep to the same methods and values. For one, we don’t use baby language to talk to them. Like their parents, we talk to them like we would to adults. Words have to be in full sentences and they need not be simple ones. The last thing we want is to send conflicting signals to the young ones.

The results are seen in how Arrian and his younger brother speak. Yes, they speak like adults.

Communication between parents and grandparents is important. The other day, Arrian’s dad told me about an incident the boy faced in the train. He banged accidentally into a lady, who he said reacted rudely and loudly to him. He said he apologised to her. But she went on scolding him. “Arrian was very upset,’’ said the dad.

I decided to bring up the incident with Arrian a few days later. I wanted to inject a sense of perspective and asked him if he had experienced similar incidents. No, he said. “This is what life is about. The majority are good people, only a small minority are like the lady on the train. In life we must take a balanced approach.”

He listened intently, but said nothing. I knew he had got the message.

My wife and I are not intrusive. We move in only when we are told to do so or when Arrian and his brother, 8, are with us. We try and get involved in their activities, listen to them intently and ask very short and pointed questions.

The one missing piece in the modern family, as far as I have seen, is the growing role of grandparents. It is not about spoiling the grandchildren by stuffing them with unhealthy food and buying them expensive toys. These are things they couldn’t do for their own children because they were busy with their work. Their role is about being there for the parents, stepping in when we are needed to help. And, not to forget, taking the grandchildren out on purposeful activities which they are fond of.

Roman, the younger boy, is very interested in art. So I took him to see the mural paintings in Chinatown. I wanted to show him some of the paintings on my phone before we went. He said: “No need, then there is no surprise.” Hmmm.

He enjoyed being up close and personal with the paintings and posed for pictures. Roman loves to draw and I am a fan of his art work. One day, I asked him: “When do you decide to take up your brush and paint? Do your paintings reflect your mood, like do you do it when you are angry.”

He thought for a while, then said: “Yes, especially when I am angry with my brother.”

“Can you show me some of those paintings.”

“I have thrown them away.”

I am glad to see him express his emotions this way.

Last weekend was grandparents day. There was hardly any mention of it in the media or by our politicians. Contrast that with the big bang way Mother’s Day, for example, is celebrated.

It tells a lot about how our society is ignoring the role of grandparents. Sad.

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