Loving Without Boundaries

Looking for opinions on our situation I'm 34 bisexual and married. She is 34 mostly straight. We decided to open our marriage recently after years of talking about it. Where I'm conflicted is I'm more of a cuck or swinger while she wants to mainly have hers on her own. I'm completely ok with it as long as its fair. The problem is when it comes to finding someone my wife had no problems as she is attractive and let's just face it guys dont care much if she's married. I on the other hand am a solid 5.5 compared to her. So while she's getting successful very attractive men I'm not so lucky. Although I'm not shallow, I just dont have anything in common with supposed matches. When it comes to me finding men however i have no problem. Apparently im a 8 in the lgbtq Community. But i dont desire to be with men that often or in a relationship. The men my wife talks to want to take her out on dates and trips. So although this was initially my idea im just not sure anymore. This will never be fair. Another thing is she is a very busy woman who dosnt have much time for me or our kids to begin with. If i go out its after the kids bedtime for the most part. I dont like that she would sacrifice her busy time from work school to go out on dates. If she cant do it for us i dont want her doing it for others. Is this fair to ask? Or am i setting this all up for failure

My husband has a girlfriend, and is talking with another woman that he's interested in. I have not gotten out there yet looking for another partner. My biggest concerns involve balancing our schedule with caring for our 3 young children (3, 2, and 8 months). I'm deeply in love with my husband and I'm worried that he's seeing to spread himself too thin, or that either our children or our marriage is going to get the short end of the stick now that he's courting another new relationship. I work Monday through Friday, office hours. He works second shift or doubles Friday through Sunday. His girlfriend is long distance, and he leaves every other week on Tuesday evening and doesn't come home until Thursday morning, and she comes here the opposite Wednesdays. I feel like we've been really getting our groove back as a couple and now he's purposely planning on being around less and less because he has always struggled with self esteem and now he's getting lots if attention from more than just me. I also feel like his pursuing a third relationship at this time is taking away the possibilities for me to explore and meet another partner. And finally I feel like he's eliminating time together as a whole family by working all weekend every weekend, which are my only days off. I started trying to talk to him about my concerns this morning but he seemed to brush them off and just said that it'd work out and be ok. I guess I just needed to vent, but any advice is appreciated.

Id do a open relationship if I could get one partner let alone 3.

I have never read a romance novel. However, I just read this article, and watched the TED talk it describes. The TED talk mentions a couple of very interesting...and VERY inclusive romance novels. Next up...as the article mentions...let's hope for more poly/non-monogamous storylines in romance novels!

So. I keep finding myself crushing on people who are either not poly or I just don’t know their preference. Or worse! I have seemed to develop a mutual crush with a local bartender. Neither of us know relationship statuses. How do you put that out there. Especially with the poly. I feel like it just scares them away. If it does, then it would have never worked, but....aaaaahhh help! How do you begin that convo with someone that doesn’t know you’re poly??? And probably isn’t themselves. I’ll be honest, when I crossed over it was not a well communicated experience. And we’re still working through issues from it. Help my hive. 💙

"What is the difference between solopoly and RA (Relationship Anarchy)?" Solopoly people are uncoupled in various ways, for example, it's how I self define and to me it specifically describes how I live alone and always will, unmarried and never will, no kids and never will, no mixing of bank accounts or leases or shared property. I'm solo in that sense. But I'm not single. Definitely not single. I'm in multiple relationships. Other people see solopoly as: single and personally defining as polyamorous, unattached, and not benefiting from Couple's Privilege. Since I am part of multiple couples... I don't fit that definition at all. Also, sometimes solopoly is defined as not having a primary partner and ideally uninterested/refusing to have one, which is really similar to non-hierarchical polyamory. So, first we have to pick one of the many definitions of solopoly. It's a term that keeps shifting and being redefined, as all these terms seem to do. Pretty certain Tristan Taormino first coined it in Opening Up, but the internet has run wild with it. So many different people have become attached to the word to describe whatever it is that they're doing that doesn't look like traditional couples, stepping off the relationship escalator at various stops along the way. As for Relationship Anarchy, it's more about eliminating the mainstream distinctions between sexual partners, romantic partnerships, platonic partnerships, family, friends. In a sense, all people on earth could self-define as RA, because maybe they value their best friendship just as much as their monogamous spouse. It's a flexible concept that's largely philosophical and socio-political as much as it is personal, based in principles that society should not dictate that our sexual/romantic partners inherently hold any more value or priority in our lives than our non-sexual/non-romantic partners. We get to decide that prioritization for ourselves. It's spelled out pretty clearly in the Relationship Anarchy Manifesto published in 2011 by Swedish folks, quite popular there, and growing in popularity here. It's a great set of values, but it just doesn't feel right to me. My romantic/sexual partners are in their own separate and special category in my heart and my head, a weekly and daily prioritization of time and communication that differs from my platonic friendships. It feels disingenuous for me to claim RA, while looking exactly like the thing that RA isn't. So... you could easily be both solopoly and RA... or be only one of those.

Spent the night with this cuddly fella at Hacienda Villa. Definitely more than a 1 night stand... This was my second time hosting my Polytalks.com panels at Hacienda and I've had such good experiences with everyone involved. http://gothamist.com/2015/12/18/polyamory_party.php