Leave Then Cleave

Leave Then Cleave Husband & Wife ❤️
Estranged Cycle Breakers
(2)

📖 Free Chapter: Navigating Family Betrayal & Boundaries
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Helping people navigate difficult family relationships with faith and integrity.

06/08/2026

Sometimes the most painful part of a lie told about you isn’t the lie itself.

It’s watching who believed it without ever coming to you first.

Healthy people clarify.
Unsafe people conclude.

And in unhealthy family systems, rumors often become a way to justify distance, blame, shame, or control.

But you don’t have to chase every accusation.
You don’t have to litigate your character in a courtroom that already decided the verdict.

Clarify once with the people who actually matter.
Then go quiet.
Go steady.
Go consistent.

Your fruit will speak louder than their rumor.

And if this hit close to home, I wrote Leave Then Cleave for the people trying to build a healthier family without losing their faith, their marriage, or their peace.

Comment CHAPTER and I’ll send you a free chapter.

06/07/2026

Faith is not control.

Ruth didn’t know how her story would end. Hannah didn’t know when or how her prayer would be answered. Naomi couldn’t see redemption while she was still standing in grief.

But God was still working.

Sometimes faith is not receiving the whole map. Sometimes faith is receiving just enough light for the next step.

Faith is not faith in an outcome.

Faith is faith in a Being.

And because of Jesus Christ, we can say:

“Lord, I trust Thee — even here.”

Today is my dad’s birthday.He’s been gone for almost 18 years. He was only 46, and had 7 kids, the youngest was 9 when h...
06/05/2026

Today is my dad’s birthday.

He’s been gone for almost 18 years. He was only 46, and had 7 kids, the youngest was 9 when he passed away.

I don’t talk about him very often here because this page is mostly about marriage, boundaries, family relationships, and faith. But the truth is, my dad is part of the reason I care so much about all of those things.

Losing a parent at a young age changes you.

There are moments I wish I could call him. Moments I wish he could see my kids. Moments I wish he could see what Ashley and I have built, the books, the podcast, the community, and the people we’ve been able to help.

I wish he could see Lily preparing for adulthood. I wish he could see Sophie, William, and Nolan becoming who they’re becoming.

I wish I could sit across from him one more time and ask a few questions.

But grief teaches you something important:

Love is not measured by proximity.

It’s measured by impact.

My dad’s influence didn’t end when his life did.

It still shows up in the way I parent.

It shows up in the way I love my wife.

It shows up in the way I try to serve other people.

It shows up in the values I fight to pass down to my children.

One of the reasons I’m so passionate about healthy family relationships is because I know how precious they are.

And maybe that’s why I’m equally passionate about protecting them.

A healthy marriage is worth protecting.

Your children are worth protecting.

Your peace is worth protecting.

The healthiest families aren’t the ones that never experience conflict. They’re the ones that are built on love, truth, accountability, and respect.

Today I’m thinking about my dad.

I’m grateful for the 25 years I had with him.

I’m grateful for what he taught me.

And I’m grateful that even after 18 years, his life continues to bless mine.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

I hope I’m making you proud.

❤️

06/04/2026

Honoring your parents does not mean enabling dysfunction.

For many of us, this is where things get confusing. We were taught that honor means obedience, compliance, silence, and never disappointing our parents.

But in adulthood, especially in marriage, honor has to mature.

Sometimes honoring your parents means taking the good they gave you and building something healthier for the next generation.

Sometimes it means healing what they were never able to heal.

Sometimes it means telling the truth about patterns that everyone else wants to keep hidden.

And sometimes it means refusing to keep the peace at the expense of your marriage, your children, your agency, or your relationship with God.

The goal is not dishonor.
The goal is not revenge.
The goal is truth, healing, and love that does not require pretending harm didn’t happen.

Full episode is live now: Q&A Part 1 | Honoring Parents Without Enabling Dysfunction

06/04/2026

Post 4 | How the Gospel of Jesus Christ Helped Us with Going No Contact

In many cases, we see a lot of millennials especially leave the church and the gospel of Jesus Christ because of the way it was used in dysfunctional and unhealthy families.

For us, the gospel has been the biggest blessing in our healing journey as we have gone NO CONTACT with my wife’s family.

As we have had to deconstruct what we thought the gospel was, and relearn it through new eyes, we have seen just how destructive it has been taught in her family of origin as they have used commandments like “honor thy father and mother” and concepts like love, forgiveness, and judgment to manipulate their children and grandchildren and hide abusive and destructive behavior.

We, in turn, are trying to teach the next generation differently.

For those who have experienced this in your own families, we would love to hear about your experience if you’re willing to share.

Grateful for the respectful dialogue we have seen on this platform this week. Thank you for being here. 🙏

Question for you:
Have you ever had to separate the teachings of Jesus from the way religion was used in your family?

Share your experience below. 👇

Comment CHAPTER if you’d like a free chapter of Leave Then Cleave.

Part 10

06/04/2026

Post 4 | How the Gospel of Jesus Christ Helped Us with Going No Contact

In many cases, we see a lot of millennials especially leave the church and the gospel of Jesus Christ because of the way it was used in dysfunctional and unhealthy families.

For us, the gospel has been the biggest blessing in our healing journey as we have gone NO CONTACT with my wife’s family.

As we have had to deconstruct what we thought the gospel was, and relearn it through new eyes, we have seen just how destructive it has been taught in her family of origin as they have used commandments like “honor thy father and mother” and concepts like love, forgiveness, and judgment to manipulate their children and grandchildren and hide abusive and destructive behavior.

We, in turn, are trying to teach the next generation differently.

For those who have experienced this in your own families, we would love to hear about your experience if you’re willing to share.

Grateful for the respectful dialogue we have seen on this platform this week. Thank you for being here. 🙏

Question for you:
Have you ever had to separate the teachings of Jesus from the way religion was used in your family?

Share your experience below. 👇

Comment CHAPTER if you’d like a free chapter of Leave Then Cleave.

Part 9

06/04/2026

Post 4 | How the Gospel of Jesus Christ Helped Us with Going No Contact

In many cases, we see a lot of millennials especially leave the church and the gospel of Jesus Christ because of the way it was used in dysfunctional and unhealthy families.

For us, the gospel has been the biggest blessing in our healing journey as we have gone NO CONTACT with my wife’s family.

As we have had to deconstruct what we thought the gospel was, and relearn it through new eyes, we have seen just how destructive it has been taught in her family of origin as they have used commandments like “honor thy father and mother” and concepts like love, forgiveness, and judgment to manipulate their children and grandchildren and hide abusive and destructive behavior.

We, in turn, are trying to teach the next generation differently.

For those who have experienced this in your own families, we would love to hear about your experience if you’re willing to share.

Grateful for the respectful dialogue we have seen on this platform this week. Thank you for being here. 🙏

Question for you:
Have you ever had to separate the teachings of Jesus from the way religion was used in your family?

Share your experience below. 👇

Comment CHAPTER if you’d like a free chapter of Leave Then Cleave.

Part 8

06/04/2026

Post 4 | How the Gospel of Jesus Christ Helped Us with Going No Contact

In many cases, we see a lot of millennials especially leave the church and the gospel of Jesus Christ because of the way it was used in dysfunctional and unhealthy families.

For us, the gospel has been the biggest blessing in our healing journey as we have gone NO CONTACT with my wife’s family.

As we have had to deconstruct what we thought the gospel was, and relearn it through new eyes, we have seen just how destructive it has been taught in her family of origin as they have used commandments like “honor thy father and mother” and concepts like love, forgiveness, and judgment to manipulate their children and grandchildren and hide abusive and destructive behavior.

We, in turn, are trying to teach the next generation differently.

For those who have experienced this in your own families, we would love to hear about your experience if you’re willing to share.

Grateful for the respectful dialogue we have seen on this platform this week. Thank you for being here. 🙏

Question for you:
Have you ever had to separate the teachings of Jesus from the way religion was used in your family?

Share your experience below. 👇

Comment CHAPTER if you’d like a free chapter of Leave Then Cleave.

Part 7

06/04/2026

Post 4 | How the Gospel of Jesus Christ Helped Us with Going No Contact

In many cases, we see a lot of millennials especially leave the church and the gospel of Jesus Christ because of the way it was used in dysfunctional and unhealthy families.

For us, the gospel has been the biggest blessing in our healing journey as we have gone NO CONTACT with my wife’s family.

As we have had to deconstruct what we thought the gospel was, and relearn it through new eyes, we have seen just how destructive it has been taught in her family of origin as they have used commandments like “honor thy father and mother” and concepts like love, forgiveness, and judgment to manipulate their children and grandchildren and hide abusive and destructive behavior.

We, in turn, are trying to teach the next generation differently.

For those who have experienced this in your own families, we would love to hear about your experience if you’re willing to share.

Grateful for the respectful dialogue we have seen on this platform this week. Thank you for being here. 🙏

Question for you:
Have you ever had to separate the teachings of Jesus from the way religion was used in your family?

Share your experience below. 👇

Comment CHAPTER if you’d like a free chapter of Leave Then Cleave.

Part 6

06/04/2026

Post 4 | How the Gospel of Jesus Christ Helped Us with Going No Contact

In many cases, we see a lot of millennials especially leave the church and the gospel of Jesus Christ because of the way it was used in dysfunctional and unhealthy families.

For us, the gospel has been the biggest blessing in our healing journey as we have gone NO CONTACT with my wife’s family.

As we have had to deconstruct what we thought the gospel was, and relearn it through new eyes, we have seen just how destructive it has been taught in her family of origin as they have used commandments like “honor thy father and mother” and concepts like love, forgiveness, and judgment to manipulate their children and grandchildren and hide abusive and destructive behavior.

We, in turn, are trying to teach the next generation differently.

For those who have experienced this in your own families, we would love to hear about your experience if you’re willing to share.

Grateful for the respectful dialogue we have seen on this platform this week. Thank you for being here. 🙏

Question for you:
Have you ever had to separate the teachings of Jesus from the way religion was used in your family?

Share your experience below. 👇

Comment CHAPTER if you’d like a free chapter of Leave Then Cleave.

Part 5

Address

55 N Merchant Street 1370
American Fork, UT
84003

Website

https://substack.com/@cleavepodcast, https://open.spotify.com/show/4n4moys6tyb5hrmkbkkk

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