10/29/2025
✨ From my journal — October 2, 2003 ✨
Windy Wednesday night.
It’s not something I have to write down.
It’s not something I have to struggle to remember.
It’s not anything that lives on the tip of my tongue
but never rolls off.
It’s just there.
It’s the time I take for myself.
It’s the yoga I do, the bike rides I take.
It’s the headphones I sneak off and play.
It’s the book I read.
It’s not in the lists I create.
It’s not in the promises I make,
the resolutions I undergo,
or the diets I strive for.
It’s in the time that I take.
It’s quiet resolve.
Love’s not forced.
Love just happens.
Love for myself is in none of the things
I beat myself up to do.
I just make up my mind to stop the hate.
Let go of the inner verbal assault.
The ground war is over.
The air raid had its day.
And the healing wants in.
It’s time to invite my good friend, Healing,
over for a cup of coffee.
We’re rekindling our fire.
I want to love myself again.
Have I ever? I do not recall.
I’m beautiful.
I’ve never written that before.
Do I believe it?
Maybe I could.
If I just let myself.
I don’t have to feel it’s wrong
to think I’m beautiful.
Maybe if I say it again,
and really let myself feel it.
I am beautiful.
I am beautiful.
If I believe I am, then I am.
If I feel I’m beautiful,
everything I do will be beautiful in my eyes
because I am the star of my own movie.
Okay… I’m going to believe. 🌿
Sometimes healing begins with one quiet decision — to stop fighting yourself.