11/08/2025
In Western culture, people often see direct eye contact as a sign of confidence, honesty, and respect. But in Yup’ik culture — the one I grew up in — it’s actually the opposite.
For us, avoiding direct eye contact is a sign of respect, especially toward elders or people we hold in high regard. It’s a way of showing humility, not disinterest. When we look down or to the side, we’re being mindful of others’ personal space and honoring the relationship.
For many of us, direct eye contact can feel deeply uncomfortable — almost as if someone is looking straight into our soul, or as if we’re intruding into their personal space. It can feel too intense, too exposing. Instead, we show respect and connection through quiet listening, calm presence, and gentle attention, without needing to lock eyes.
Yup’ik communication values humility, harmony, and understanding over confrontation or assertiveness. We believe you don’t need to stare into someone’s eyes to show that you care — respect is shown through how you listen, how you act, and how you carry yourself.
So if a Yup’ik person doesn’t make strong eye contact with you, please know: they’re not being rude or distant. They’re showing you respect in the way we were taught.
Different doesn’t mean wrong — it just means there’s more than one way to show respect. 💛
This is true to my own upbringing and experience — others may see it differently
