06/12/2026
Lake Dreary Current Events MUST READ!!!!!!!
The Curious Case of Sumting Wong… Now Known as Frank Furter
As most of Lake Dreary already knows, following the unfortunate events surrounding the raid at his father’s… or possibly adopted father’s… restaurant, Sumting Wong decided it was time for a fresh start.
He is now known simply as Frank Furter.
Since discovering social media, YouTube, and the sweet sound of a camera recording his every move, Frank has taken his fishing addiction to levels previously thought impossible by medical professionals.
Sources close to the situation say Frank is currently attempting to break the world record for:
* Most days fished
* Most hours fished
* Most minutes fished
* Most seconds fished
* Most unnecessary trips to the lake
Witnesses report Frank gets off one boat and immediately boards another.
When no boats are available, he can be found:
* Fishing the Wishing Well at local hotels.
* Casting into decorative ponds outside office buildings.
* Jigging for bluegill in retention ponds behind fast food restaurants.
* Trolling the aquarium display at sporting goods stores.
* Asking pet stores if their goldfish count toward his yearly total.
Species don’t matter anymore.
Bass.
Walleye.
Sheephead.
Bluegill.
Carp.
Perch.
Koi.
Possibly a turtle.
If it swims, Frank is trying to catch it.
His tan lines have become so severe that local wildlife experts briefly tagged him as a raccoon before realizing he was actually a human being wearing sunglasses.
Friends say things have gotten worse.
Much worse.
Several eyewitnesses claim Frank now fishes in his sleep.
His wife reportedly woke up at 2:17 AM to find him sitting upright in bed violently cranking an invisible reel while yelling:
“FISH ON! FISH ON!”
“RIGGER OUTSIDE!”
“DIPSY! DIPSY! DIPSY!”
“GET THE NET!”
“NO, THE BIG NET!”
One particularly concerning incident occurred when Frank allegedly attempted to set a planer board on the family dog before returning to sleep.
Doctors have advised him to take a day off.
Frank responded by fishing.
Friends suggested maybe spending time with family.
Frank brought the family fishing.
His employer asked where he sees himself in five years.
Frank replied:
“About three miles offshore pulling Fire Tigers.”
At this point, experts estimate Frank spends so much time fishing that he is only considered a land mammal during major holidays.
As of this morning, unconfirmed reports suggest he was seen casting into the bait tank at a gas station while filming a YouTube video titled:
“Can We Pattern These Minnows?”
Stay tuned as Lake Dreary continues to monitor the situation before Frank attempts to troll through his own swimming pool in search of a new personal best.
🎣 Fish on, Frank. Fish on. 🎣
