Devan Marks

Devan Marks Explore AITA's ethical showdowns. What's your take on justice?

09/11/2026

AITA for going out and getting the same job as my husband to show him that it's not that hard? WIBTA if I fail?

All my husband has done for the last 6 months is b__ch about how hard his job is. I get it, it's physically demanding and a lot of walking, but it's only 3 DAYS A WEEK.

A few days ago I asked him to go for a walk with me and he said he was too tired. He's too tired to do anything. I cook, clean, then go out and do Uber almost every day because his job is "so hard" he can't be bothered to do ANYTHING.

It caused a huge blowout, so I took a trip down to the job recruitment center and they signed me right up for his exact same job. *It's a windmill factory. You go out and pick parts, load them on a cart, and take them inside. These parts can weigh anywhere from a few grams to 50lbs.

I came back home and told him the great news, that we were BOTH making tons of money now, and he was pi**ed.

All he's done for the last few days is tell me "you're going to fail", "it's going to be too hard for you", "you're wasting your time", "you're going to end up hurting your back again", etc.

He also told me I'm not supposed to tell ANYONE we're married because "when you get fired/quit I don't want that reflecting on me".

I have a whole drawer full of back braces, compression socks, and muscle relaxers, I'll be fine.

*We both previously worked at Amazon (he was fired, I hurt my back being stupid...

09/11/2026

AITA for laughing at what my co-worker said when I thought it was a joke?

Myself and another manager, Joe, at our workplace (both of us approximately same age and men) were talking with one or our employees, Ryan, about the plans for next week. Joe has a dry sense of humor and says a lot of jokes deadpan. As we were wrapping up, Joe told Ryan to do a task for him and Ryan responded 'sure.' Joe then said with a straight face, 'No, don't say sure.' You say yes.' I thought that this was a kind of weird joke and laughed a little.

Ryan just said 'Yes' and went about his way. After this, Joe asked me why I laughed and I said I thought he was making a little joke about being picky with responses. Joe said it's not picky, explaining that 'I told him to do something, it's a command from his manager, not a request.

By saying sure, he is treating it like it's a request and like he has discretion on his part. By saying yes, he's showing he understands he needs to follow orders.' He then told me that it was rude for me to laugh at what he said in front of our employee. I sort of see where he's coming from in that 'sure' sounds more casual, but it seems super uptight on his part to react that way.

I did not apologize for laughing at what he said and don't feel I owe him one.

09/10/2026

AITAH for asking for divorce when my husband spent the night at his ex?

We have been married since September. Together since 2019. Expecting our first child. I love him very much. No other issues but his dear friend Emma who is also his exgf. In the beginning it was a lot of touchy feely, even before I knew they were exes I found it odd. When I later found out they were together for several years I mentioned my discomfort to him and at first he thought it was ridiculous but later he respected my feelings and set boundaries. I don’t consider myself the jealous type, not even remotely. My husband has a lot of friends both male and female and I trusted him like he trusted me. But sitting on my (at the time fiancé’s) lap acting cute and childish was just a boundary that was crossed for me.

He didn’t come home Saturday and he called me and said that he was very drunk and staying at his buddy’s house. The morning after he casually told me that he spent the night at Emma’s. I literally wanted to vomit. I packed my things and called my dad to come and pick me. I did it when he was at work on Monday. I texted him that it was over. “I’m done”

He’s been calling and texting all week and coming to my parents’ house every day to want to speak to me but I refuse. All I answered is that once we start the divorce, he could reach me through my lawyer. The thing is. I will never know and I can’t live like that. It’s like...

09/10/2026

AITA For Not Crafting My Niece’s Name Art, Despite Creating One For My Son?

I (27m) am about to become a dad. My wife Ellie (26f) is pregnant and our son is due in August. Ellie has always been really supportive of my art, something my family never was, including my sister Rebecca (32f). Rebecca is expecting a baby girl in October. Ellie and I had talked about me designing something decorative for our son's nursery and when we chose the name and talked about wanting his name in the room, I thought up something I could design and paint and would fit nicely. It took me a few weeks to finish because it's big and detailed. But we love it. Ellie thinks it's extra sweet because I made it for our son instead of us buying something.

During our baby shower (we did a co-ed baby shower) we showed off the nursery and the art piece to some friends and family. Rebecca was among them. She was extremely jealous and asked me why I never offered to make one for her daughter as well. I brought up the fact Rebecca has always been so unsupportive of my art, the fact she always said it was a girly hobby or a gay boy's hobby and always backed our parents and other siblings in sh****ng all over my interest in drawing and painting.

She told me then she wanted me to make one and asked what she'd need to get for me to do it. I told her I wasn't going to make it for her. She decided to buy art supplies and ask for it again anyway and I still...

09/10/2026

My partner cutting off a lifelong family friend because of her inappropriate messages

Update So I am in a kind of fu**ed up situation, I mean I know I am right to have my boundaries but I also feel guilty that my husband is cutting off help to lifelong family friends because of me. My husband is a doctor so it's normal that family and friends kind of come to us/him for reassurance because someone you know either reaffirming what you were told or giving you a referral if possible makes people feel better. Zero issues there, I love that he is empathetic and it honestly makes me wicked proud of him that people think that highly of him.

So he has a friend who he grew up with, their families pretty much raised them together. They were always friends since we met but never like super close plus we live in a different part of the US. I have met her multiple times and she seemed very sweet.

She also was married when I originally met her and has two kids. Well her father is very sick with a type of cancer that has a low rate of recovery. We live in the northeast and they live down south so our medical care is definitely exponentially better.

My husband has been helping consult and just being a good friend to them to make sure he gets the best care possible. This friend has been a bit needy and using him for emotional support. I get it, I'm not jealous because what we have is solid.

(Plus when he has his medical mindset that's it) Well over...

09/10/2026

AITA for wanting husband to give me money?

I (F35) moved to the US to be with my spouse (M40). When I arrived I had remote work and some savings. Since that work stopped I dipped in my savings paying for lil expenses for myself and the household. Fast forward to 6 mos later the money ran out. Husband refuses to give money for my personal use. Not for grand expenses but to buy personal hygiene stuff like sanitary pads, facial wash, shampoo etc. His reason was that hes providing shelter, food, utilities; what would i feel if that's taken away (said as a joke). I was made to feel hes providing, just not pampering/spoiling. What little funds i get occasionally are from stuff back home I sell online.

He earns more than enough for a family of 2. No child support, alimony, debt or big loans. I know bec. he doesnt hide his payslip, investment statements, etc. He gave me proof of his assets when we submitted immigration papers. He's just a tightwad.

I was expecting access to funds for the household expenses, not everything he has. I asked to make me an extension of his card in the meantime but got a big NO. He buys groceries but tailored for what he likes. During the times I asked grocery money, he once gave $20 for a week and had the gall to ask for change. Once he gave me $60 and i had to itemize what i bought. The times he brought me to an Asian grocery to buy what i want/need it ended with scrutinizing the cart. Those trips felt i...

09/09/2026

Told my husband (37M) my life (34F) would be easier without him following a disagreement about household chores.

My husband 37M and I 34F have been married 5 years, together 8 and we have 3 kids (I have a 13 year old and 10 year old from a prior relationship ship and my husband and I have a 3 year old). I have primary custody of the two older ones - they go to their dads every second weekend).

I WFH full time in a government job and he works full time in a corporate setting in an office and we are constantly having disagreements about household chores.

I feel like I am just expected to do EVERYTHING because I am always home - despite working the same amount of of hours in a week, and on top of that do all of the running around for our 2 older kids taking them to sports most afternoons etc.

The only tasks he does without being asked are taking out the trash and he will clean the kitchen / pack the dishwasher. But when I say clean the kitchen - he will clean it so it is visibly clean but leave the sink disgusting and filled with old bits of food etc. He also cooks dinner but he has to be told EXACTLY what to cook and when. I’m out most afternoons till dinner time taking a child to a sport. If i don’t tell him to cook, he will just not feed the kids until I get in the door and direct him. He also doesn’t do the groceries so the mental load is still ALL on me.

Now I have quite...

09/09/2026

AITA for being openly hostile towards my sister and telling on her thus potentially making her husband loose custody of his children?

I'm not gonna be shy about this. My sister sucks. She is a horrible self slcentered person who thinks she is the main character.
She is not only a horrible person, she is a step monster.

She married this guy... Who is a freaking push over... 3 years ago. He has two children. 10 and 6. My sister constantly complains about them. Saying things like the 6 year old is gross because he sips too loud or has stained clothing. For the love of god.... He is 6. That's what a child is supposed to do. And she is so mean to the 10 year old girl. She acts straight out jealous of her. I've caught her taunting her, that daddy loves my sister more than her. She is horrible.

I have straight up called her out (after trying to talk to her like a million times) . At Christmas she was saying, that I'd be nice to have the kids there and I said "why... You hate them?". This was when everything was almost over and she had been bragging to her friends that her husband had spend more on her than on daughter. A fight ensued. My parents reprimanded me but my cousins took my side and called her out, noting every moment that they had witnessed her being horrible. Her husband obviously took her side and said, that she was a wonderful step mother and that the kids love her. To which I said that was a lie, as I had consoled them countless times after they were taunted by my sister. They...

09/09/2026

AITA for ruining thanksgiving?

update

Christmas

I (30f) met my bf (30m) 3 years ago. Before me he was together with his HS sweetheart. They fell out of love and broke up. A year later we started dating. His mom however was still heartbroken about it. I was very understanding and thought she needed time to get to know me. The ex basically grew up with them and they saw her as a part of the family.

For the first year of my relationship his mom would call me ex’s name, until bf got angry once and told her to be nice. She laughed it off and said it was just a habit. After that she started calling me the wrong name. (Janet instead of Jenny; fictional names just for the story). I corrected her a couple of times but she seemed to like hurting me so I ignored it later.

My bf has two sisters and a couple of weeks before thanksgiving we were invited to bbq at the older sister’s house. I was in the kitchen with my bf’s mom, the sisters and one of their husbands. The older sister then talked about how my BF praised my cooking to her husband and the mom was listening. She then said iut loud “SURE! Why don’t we let Janet make the turkey this year?”. The sisters giggled and looked at each other and I said “thats a great idea!” I didn’t tell my bf what happened.

On thanksgiving we went to his mom’s house with the usual wine and dessert. She was shocked l, everybody was...

09/09/2026

AITA for asking my friend to pay for the damage to my expensive leather bag?

So, I own a high-end leather briefcase that I saved up for months to buy. It’s a $1,800 briefcase, and it was a gift I made to myself after saving money for over a year. I’ve always been super careful with it.
A few days ago I was hanging out with my friend and he asked to see it. I handed it over and while he was looking at it, he accidentally spilled a full cup of coffee on it.
I immediately tried to wipe it off but the coffee soaked into the leather and left a huge stain. I was devastated. This bag cost me $1,800 and I’ve only had it for a few months. I took it to a professional cleaner, and they said it’ll costa round $300 to remove the stain, but there’s no guarantee the stain will completely come out.
I told my friend I was upset and asked if he’d be willing to help cover the cost of repairs. He apologized but said it was just an accident and that I shouldn’t expect him to pay for something so expensive.
I get that accidents happen, but this feels like a big deal to me. I offered to split the cost, but he refused, saying it’s not his responsibility.
I feel like he should at least contribute something, but now he’s acting like I’m being unreasonable.
So, AITA for asking my friend to pay for the damage to my bag?

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