My mentor DDY
The Proof of Heaven video has 45,000 views in one month which is pretty good. Taylor Swift had 80 million in one day. Don’t tell me she can’t hear us breathing down her neck.
Jim and I coordinated our release with Taylor’s people to make certain we didn’t hurt her sales by releasing at the same time. It worked.
Pluto is lobbying for a return in status to planet. Mostly because of the retirement and health care benefits.
The expression ‘“to be determined” pretty much describes life.
BTS the South Korean boy band phenomenon has just scored 3 number one albums in 11 months, a feat only done by the Beatles. I listened and watched and its typical produced pop fare with more dancing than singing albeit from boys with decidedly feminine features.
BeaTleS. A coincidence I think not.
Rock is dead and here’s your replacement. If this makes ya happy fine by me. There will always be little girls looking for cute young boys without manly characteristics to drool over. BTS said Dylan was a huge influence. (Fake news) by the way I prefer Samsung.
Julian Assange, Tom Hanks, Santa and Dave Letterman all have huge white beards. Coincidence, hardly, connect the dots people.
Every new study’s findings or poll will soon be followed by a newer study and poll refuting them. “Nobody knows nuthin” except of course you and me. We smart.
Taylor Swifts fans believe all other musicians may be unnecessary. They may have a point.
Soccer players and Irish step dancers are both disarming. Except the goalies. If you want higher scoring soccer matches make the rules for hands the same for goalies as midfielders.
Joe Biden enters presidential race. He’s been Biden his time.
The Dems wring their hands over Joe’s long history as a hugger yet Bernie visits Moscow on his honeymoon in praise of the Soviet Union and that’s ok. Better a co**ie than a huggie.
The expression “To be determined,” pretty much describes life”. He repeated.
THE MUELLER REPORT is released. Depending on your politics you make up a joke I have fans to consider.
Russia polls finds rise in support for Stalin. First why should anyone believe any poll that comes from RUSSIA. Second thank god it wasn’t Hi**er. Do Russians have unfiltered Google, probably not or they might change their minds.
Speaking of polls 44% of American millennials would prefer living in a socialist system.
Hey Millie’s check out Venezuela, Cuba, Russia, (to be fair Russia is a crime syndicate) even China isn’t complete communism or socialism it’s a mix of capitalism. Kids you have phones which offer free lessons in history. Try em. After you done checking your Instagram.
The Department of Children and Family Services in Chicago has had failure after failure read the Tribune headlines. No surprise, when adults destroy their families it’s difficult for any outsiders to fix them.
Actual headline: “Illinois Governor Pritzker Pooh-poohs report feds probing toilet removal”.
The happiest place on earth sure does have a lot of crying kids.
Is the Pope Catholic, does a bear ....in the woods or does the Orlando airport have strollers.
Parents who abused, starved, and shackled their kids will receive life sentences. Sorry not long enough. Parole board will be located in Hell.
Ukraine elect’s comedian as president. This is to give Fallon, Kimmel, Corden, Colbert, Maher, SNL and Myers direct competition.
Madonna teases record release and new alter ego Madame X. Didn’t know there was room left for another.
Washington Post says study shows rich guys more likely to not know what they’re talking about. And you’re reading this post anyway. Sheesh.
Game of Thrones ends peacefully when global warming melts the north and the Night King and White walkers form a doo w*p group down south getting hired on Iron Kingdom cruise ships, Kaleesi and Jon Snow go into the dragon breeding business while the Starks open a bridal business called Red Weddings inc.
Chinese scientists have experimented by placing human brain genes in monkeys. The monkeys immediately became politicians.
Irony is when a plane breaks the sound barrier and there’s a big boom. Some barrier.
Nipsey Russell I know Nipsey Hussie ,I didn’t know until he was murdered. . This is a very bad way to get famous.
Just watched a show on stress and now I’m super stressed. Cause they were talking about me...oh and you...and everybody. What’s a mother to do in this modern world.
Is Herman Cain Herman Able. Apparently not
Lots of people are eating seaweed for its nutritional value. I don’t even like it when it touches my feet.
The Dump has become successful despite its name.
Any news or scientific or health scare story that utilizes the words “could” “possibly” or “may” I immediately stop reading. Unless it says “ absolutely or unequivocally” it was mostly written to scare you. I’m scared enough already.
The Milky Way has a mass weight of 1.5 trillion suns, quick someone call Marie Osmond she knows nutri system and solar system.
I banned Poland Springs water from my rider for stage five years ago because it tasted like ick. They’ve just been sued for defrauding customers, it appears the Poland Spring dried up 50 years ago.
I got the best reverse mortgage ever, it reverses all the payments to you.
Due to recent human behavior Webster’s dictionary has dropped the word “shame” from its publication. It has been replaced by “shameless”
Biggest N.Y. co***ne bust in history found hidden in fruitcakes. Who else would use that crap.
The next person who comments on my Random Thoughts by citing TMTOMH will be visited by the NIGHT KING for crimes against stating the obvious.
Movie super heroes are very popular these days because they're able to right wrongs that humans cannot. In our know everything culture humans will always fail the goal of perfection. Don’t scratch the surface too hard on anyone, you might not like the smell. Grand Illusion part DEUX.
The “Otter” was voted down as the new University of Illinois school mascot. Next up the “vole”. It used to be Chief Illiniwek but that’s a no no. Plus no one could pronounce it.
My vote having attended the University Of Illinois would be “Lincoln’s Beard”.
Finally the mystery man in the hair band photo called Rock Candy is AUGUSTUS ZADRA, formerly of Moose Creek Alaska. Far right. I know, I know.
Cheers Mr. Thoughts