11/07/2025
Petals & Plumes, I am back and will be posting soon!
This past year has been one of extreme challenges, between the Hurricane Helene last September, then I suffered a crippling diagnosis, then my Mother suffered back fractures. It has been a rocky 14 months, but with a Great Rheumatologist, I am close to normal once again. Most would never have known, as i hid it well, worked thru the pain, i am not a quiter, and now i am feeling my body is near normal again. My left hand and wrist is my worst area now, but ive adapted and work through it!
PLEASE KNOW, I would NEVER have shared this until I KNEW i waa better and I ONLY do so now to encourage others to NOT Give Up and work thru the pain, because if i had just laid around, my mind would have overtaken my body to give up! If you stay busy, no matter the circumstance, you have little time to dwell. I NEVER laid down for naps, and i worked harder, but slower! I write this
Only as a testament to say I AM BACK, even when most never knew i was almost gone!
Last September, here in Augusta we were hit with a devastating Hurricane, which I have yet to get my home restored from the Damages, a couple months after, I was hit with a horrifying illness, I wouldn't know till later, but it had been building up in my system for the last few years, but one morning I woke and was unable to move myself out of the bed. It started with my left hand having swelling, some numbness and then a few days later, my right hand, but my left arm started worsening, then a few days later, my arms, shoulders, legs and knees would not allow me to lift myself from my bed.
I laid in the bed, crying, because I couldn't turn on the lamp switch on my nightstand, much less lift my iphone. I rocked my body back and forth to swing upward off my pillow, then I could not even lift my arms, my shoulders were frozen and my knees were the size of my thighs.. the pain was unbearable and it took me about 20 minutes to get up. I recall ringing my Mother and saying, I need to get to your house, I can't move my limbs.. I recall getting to the kitchen, taking ibuprofen and my limbs were mobile, but still in pain... STUBBORN as I am, I managed to get myself in my SUV and sitting and driving was hard, but I did it.. I put clothes in a bag as I could not lift anything else and made it to Moms. There I would stay for the next 8 months and live, because I could not fully take care of myself.
I set up 2 small folding tables in her Den, that was my work area, I had to work still, there was no other option, but I learned quickly, I was limited, I took Tylenol Arthritis every morning and Ibuprofen to function, but the symptoms grew worse. I am self employed, so have no medical insurance, so no Doctor would see me.. I just dealt with it thinking soon, it would subside, but I was so very wrong. I was closing my Members Group end of the year, so it was hard to get through that last month, but I managed. Come January, I was literally incapacitated, Mom had recently fractured her back over the holidays, BUT she was my arms, every morning, I made my way from the bedroom to the Den, where I would sit till bedtime, i could not walk but a few steps.. bathroom, kitchen perhaps and that was a trip each time that brought tears to my face... Mom was in her own extreme pain, but she was my arms, and I was her back, but neither of us were very mobile. She would pour my juice every morning, I would religiously have 2 fig newtons so I could digest my pills to get some sort of "thawing' in my arms... it was not relief, but enough so I could squeeze a glue gun to work. My tolerance for pain is high, but even this was more than I could deal with, but I still pushed through... Many to this day never knew, I hid it from most. MY BIGGEST thing was knowing I could not turn on a lamp switch in the morning or at night, I had to grab with both hands and push it to turn. I felt like a movie where someone is injured and learning the use of their limbs all over again.. I can recall some days where I told the Lord, " I do not want to go on, I was ready to leave", but I had Mom to worry about, it would ruin her to know I succumbed and I kept going. EVERY DAY, it was a day of tears, getting off the chair was a chore, my knees were so inflamed, it took me forever to go a few steps, the Pups looked at me like, "whats wrong Mommy", irritable was my new best friend.. I hated living..
2 Months later, I finally gave in and went to an Urgent Care, which was the BIGGEST Joke, I knew more about what was wrong than the PA that was on call.. the one good thing was that I got a referral to an Orthopedic doctor. That I felt was going to be my relief, but in the end, Steroid shots in my knees did NOTHING... that should have reduced inflammation for 3 months, I had no relief whatsoever, so i waited 2 months, then went back and he gave me a referral to a rheumatogist and he would be my life savior. I recall his words, saying my inflammation was OFF THE CHARTS, and that my level of inflammation was extreme and no steroid or pain med would help me... he then told me I would feel worse before I got better and the meds he prescribed would take 3 months to get into my system and show any relief... to say I was upset is an understatement, i thought I would get a FIX it QUICK, but that didnt happen... I was in a wheel chair, as I could not walk the distance to the Dr's office... Candi, my Sister would haul me around, as well as Mom to Doctors visits and we both were in wheel chairs. I was given a Chemo RX, but a low dosage, but it is used regularly for Rheumatoid Arthritis and the form I have is crippling.. I am now 9 months into taking the meds, sadly my dosage has been increased to the maximum level and I am having bad flare ups, but I deal with the pain and work just as fiercely as ever, because NOTHING is bad, compared to where I was 10 months ago... I could NOT walk, I could not stir my coffee with a spoon, I only used paper cups and plates due to the weight of them, and I still do, because holding a plate is stressful on my wrists... sleeping was the worst, i dreaded lsyjng dien for fear if getting ip during the night for bathroom was horrifying, i skept on my back with arms crossed like in a coffin as that was inly way to keep shoukders from causung oain.. Crying is like my release and I do it daily still, BUT I am so thankful for the day that Rheumatologist told me they would take a NEW patient without health insurance.. I recall calling one Monday morning and they had a cancellation, and I got in, otherwise, appointments were 2-3 months out... I do feel in my heart, God knew I was ready for Help
This year has been one of triumphs and tribulations and recently back in August, I moved back into my home after being at Moms for 8-9 months... i tried to come home back in May, but first day I came home, I had an accident in my cellar, trying to flip the breaker on my breaker box and sliced open my leg and had 19 stitches, so I went back to stay at Moms…due to the Chemo drug, it took 3 months to heal, infection set in, 4 visits to ER in a month and again, no insurance... now I have a small recessed indention in my leg from where the skin did not properly close... I bruise at the slightest touch, and my skin tears at the slightest bump into a box.. I am sooooo cautious going in crowded spaces like stores, I fear someone bumping into me and it took me 8 months to step back into a Walmart or grocery store.. it is a taxing event to walk around still and when I return home, i am DONE for the day.
I pray I will be back to normal, my Doctor says I will, so I am patient and I push like I always did before... lifting and packing boxes is like lifting a 50 lb bag of cement, but I am getting back into it.. I WILL BE BACK and stronger than ever, but if not 100%, that's okay, I will take what I am handed out... I had to cancel my LAST Big Event this year till next August of 2026, and after family and friends forced me into to doing so, I know it was the right call, but i will be better next year... I have the support of my Family and that is all the Medicine I need.. that and my icky Chemo drugs... the side effects are not good, but I pray soon I can alternate to another cure, but I will say, Rheumatoid Arthritis is NOT something to take lightly, if you sense you have inflammation of the joints, do not allow it to back up and fester in your body, seek treatment... I know mine has built up for years and it finally just shut my body down altogether..
I have been very private about my Health and Situation, until I knew I was at a place to where I knew I was moving forward again. Only my Members/Students knew to some extent, because they saw my hands in gloves and braces to work in my tutorial videos, so I had to disclose to them, but never to the extreme extent... only what they needed to know.. I felt I had to learn to use my hands, arms and legs all over, my body had completely shut down, literally, I cried daily begging the Lord to take me, until I got in the room and saw my Mom and realized she needed me.. I am blessed and soooo grateful for my Rheumatologist who saved my Life and NOW, he is treating Mom, with Evenity Injecctions for Bone growth and she will be going to Pain management starting next week... so now I pray, she will get some relief as I have, but she has been in excruciating pain since December after painful back surgery early this year that only has made her worse... I ask daily for prayers for her to feel some sense of relief.. PLEASE LORD, I need that ROCK who is my MOM! she is all that kept me here, without her, I know I would be gone....
I feel a sense of release just typing this out... my Sister and Brother advised me to do so months ago, but I am private, but after a glass of wine, I said tonight.. WTH... Pray and Believe!
I am back playing catch up and know that this coming year I will be back on track ... I thank all of those who knew about my condition and wished me well and I appreciate everyone's patience.
