12/25/2025
DECEMBER 23rd, that day will always be remembered as my BEST & WORST Day at the same time... it is remembered to be my Worst because it would be the last day I saw my Father, BUT it will always be my BEST day also, because it was a Day he and I shared Christmas Shopping. The following morning, Christmas Eve he would no longer be with us , i was only 13!’ Oddly enough the day we went shopping, I ONLY recall the drive to town and the drive home, I don't even recall being in a Store. Memory has a way of filtering what is important. My Lesson that day that I only realized many years later would be that he asked me to go shopping for a Reason, he had a message he wanted me to share later in life. December 23rd is MY DAY, I always choose to be ALONE on that day, and normally I am moody, listless and likely had more Wine than was needed, I ran errands for Mom and got things for Christmas Dinner, was going to go to her house, but decided it's best to stay home, I didn't want to be in a funk and they all know why. TODAY, I am excited to go and about to leave, but I wanted to reshare my Story, Dad's Story and I will run by the Cemetery on the way to Mom's to spruce up the Flowers with something festive. It's my Alone Time with him.... I recall the details as I write this every year, and no matter how hard I try, the tears pour down as I write this. I copy paste my story below, because it rips me apart to rewrite it and recall it, but I do so because it is truly what defines Christmas, I can never replace his Gift to me, his LAST DAY! and we no longer exchange gifts, and I do not miss it, only the Pups get gifts, and that is the way I feel it should be. To HAVE the LOVE and Time with Family is all that Matters.
After all of these years, I get as emotional as if it were yesterday and remember all the details over and over in my head, but I was only 13... some of the details are as fresh as the day it happened, and some, a total blur... Many of you know my Story but I like to share it every year... The things we remember and the things we forget are instrumental in how our lives go on, it shows us what IS and IS NOT important.
December 23rd, my Daddy asked me to go with him to do a last bit of Shopping... Mom had asked me also to get Daddy a pair of jeans. We lived up at the lake, which was like 45 minutes to town, so we headed out early.. I recall we were going to Roses' Dept store, as there was not a Mall back then. We hadn't gotten far, Keg Creek bridge I recall, when Daddy began talking to me, saying things to me, that as a child, I couldn't quite understand. I recall clearly disclosing that I forgot his pants size, didn't want to spoil it, but forgot what Mom told me, he laughed and told me. I felt like I had disclosed an earth shattering secret by asking him. I remember I was leaning over the dash (before seat belt laws) and he "out of the blue" said to me and GOD, I will never forget these words as long as I live. "Angie, if something ever happens to me, I want your Mom to remarry" .. I turned and looked at him and asked "What are you talking about?", he repeated it to me. Anything after that moment is a blur, but that phrase will stay with me.. I have tried and tried every year to recall us arriving to the Store, but I feel the less important things like "gift buying" is not what I chose to remember, but all the same, I wish I could as those were the last hours I would spend with him.
On our drive back home, we were approaching Keg Creek Bridge again, I noticed Daddy was hovering over the Steering wheel and then he pulled over off the road. I was scared, but I told him if he could manage the pedals, I could steer the rest of the way.. The road we lived on was not far passed the bridge, but I assume he was just as scared as me, but we managed to get home. I ran in and got Mom, we got him to my Brother's bedroom on a bed. I remember Mom asking me to get him some water and when I came back, he did not look good at all. He went to the Hospital that day, don't recall much of the remainder of that day, but I do recall Christmas Eve morning, my Uncle and Grandfather came to pick us up to take us to town, they wouldn't tell us what happened.. I asked " I guess Daddy isn’t going to get to come home for Christmas this year?"... the car was silent, they didn't respond with an answer.. This was supposed to be our first Christmas in my Daddy's dream home, that he worked on for 3 years, but it was never meant to be... GOD gave him his New Home and he got the Most Perfect Angel for Heaven on this Special Day... i recall arriving to my Grandparents home and seeing all the cars and inside a preacher, everyone crying, i ran out of the house and down the road, i refused to believe!
It took me many years of being shut down, cold and resentful of God to come to the understanding of why he could do this to us at such a Special time of the year, especially for a child, but I know now, the Special time of the year, CHRISTMAS is not about the Gifts, but the Family and what they give each other is LOVE, not presents.. My Christmas time has never been what it was when I was a child and never will be, but I know my Daddy gave me his LAST DAY on Earth (that was his last gift to me) and entrusted me with his Special words, that he wanted my Mother to go on, he knew he was leaving and arranged this Special Day with me..it was a devastating thing and a burden somewhat to put that on a 13 yr old's shoulders, but he made me what I am today,..He gave me the Best GIFT and " I am my Father's Daughter" Angie Etheridge
I Love you Daddy, and I Miss you so terribly still... Please give Miss Smilla a big hug from her Mommy.... and give Mom's fur babies all a big kiss from her.
Merry Christmas, the ONLY Gift we ever want is to have our family present, that’s the ONLY Gifts we need!
