Geese Witherspoon- Celebrity Goose

Geese Witherspoon- Celebrity Goose Public Figure owned by Gurdy's LLC. This is a SATIRE page. Only for fun. Nothing, and yet everything, is serious.

Have fun and enjoy the adventures of Geese Witherspoon.

Oh no no no… I’s tried to mind my honkbusiness today, but da calendar done flipped to May and now my cousin done showed ...
05/01/2026

Oh no no no… I’s tried to mind my honkbusiness today, but da calendar done flipped to May and now my cousin done showed up lookin like THIS 🪿🍜

I’s told her, “cousin… dis is not da red carpet, dis is da internet.”
But she just fluffed her noodly feathers and said, “It’s gonna be MAY.”
Like she invented da phrase her own self.

I’s cannot be responsible for dis level of chaos in my family. First da honkin, now da pasta hair?? Dis why we don’t get invited to fancy events no more.

Anyways… happy first of May from me and my questionable bloodline. Stay safe out there. If you see a goose with ramen hair, just keep walkin. She not ready for society.




From da desk of da Burger Paladin… I’s got big h***y news 🪿✨Da shirts fur da 2K Fun Run has arrived!! Dey is lookin migh...
04/14/2026

From da desk of da Burger Paladin… I’s got big h***y news 🪿✨

Da shirts fur da 2K Fun Run has arrived!! Dey is lookin mighty fine, if I’s do say so myself. Dis is fur all yous dat pre-registered fur da event, so don’ts be shy 👀

You can swoop on by Gurdy’s durin normal business hours to pick yours up… don’ts be late or I might admire dem first 😌




Looks at me! I's gots to play on da new equipments at the Austin Parks and Rec!Mama is terribles at tics tacs toes
04/11/2026

Looks at me! I's gots to play on da new equipments at the Austin Parks and Rec!
Mama is terribles at tics tacs toes

Honk honk!! Hoppy Easter!! 🐣🪿Geese is here with one very important reminder before I go eat snacks and judge everybody’s...
04/05/2026

Honk honk!! Hoppy Easter!! 🐣🪿
Geese is here with one very important reminder before I go eat snacks and judge everybody’s egg hunt skills...

TODAY is the LAST DAY to:
sign up to participate in my fun run and get an awesome T-Shirt for $25
OR
get your business on the back of the shirts with a $50 donation

If you been thinkin about it...
if you been meanin to do it...
if you been sayin “I’ll do it later”...

Geese would like to remind you dat later is now. 😌 BECUZ we turning da ticket orders off tonight and sendin da finalized design to be printed

Do not make me come peck on your door.
Let’s get these shirts finished up and make this thing extra beautiful for a honkin good cause!! 💛🪿

➡️ SPONSORS Can Make a $50 Donation Here and email us your logo to have it on the back of every shirt!
https://www.geesewitherspoon.com/donate

➡️ PARTICIPANTS Can buy $25 tickets here to participate or just have an epic shirt:
https://www.geesewitherspoon.com/events/geese-witherspoons-2k-fun-run

OR U CAN BE BOTH!

All Net Proceeds from the event will go to Lonoke Safe Haven

HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL MY HONKIN SPONSORS DO FAR!!!!

Austin Parks and Rec
Gurdy's LLC
Stage 2 Games
Fiegel's Fix-It
Sisterly Sublimation & DTF
Homesteaders Market
S & S Septic Systems and Plumbing Services LLC
Sweet Sullivan Mini Loaf Cakes
Whiskey Pig Ranch
Twisted Automotive & Diesel LLC
My Decal Gal
Sage Tea & Treats
Knotted & Painted
Ada's Bark Shoppe
The Crazy Heifer Mootique
The Wright Place For Your Loved Ones, LLC
Sylvania Hydraulic & Tractor Repair LLC
Just Jess Digital Designs
The Sprouting Author
Oh My Lanta Sweets
3T’s BBQ & Smash Burgers
D2Z Designz
Walkin R Weldin
Jak's Second Chance Rescue Ranch
Honey B's
Ahillen Acres
The Painted Sloth
The Burger Beastro
The Pink Lily
Fired Up - Cabot
Scorched Laser Designs
Unique Visions
The Local Spark - Cabot
In Motion Productions
Smitty's Mobile Welding LLC
Fades & Friends
About Schmidt Plumbing
C&L Cleaning Service

PS: I iz buzy goose n so is my frenz. If we missd u SPEAK UP!


Honk honk!!! 🪿✨LOOK AT ALL MY AMAZIN LOCAL SPONSORS!!! 😍 Dey fillin up da BACK of my BEAUTIFUL 2K FUN RUN SHIRT!!! I so ...
04/02/2026

Honk honk!!! 🪿✨
LOOK AT ALL MY AMAZIN LOCAL SPONSORS!!! 😍

Dey fillin up da BACK of my BEAUTIFUL 2K FUN RUN SHIRT!!!

I so proud. I could cry. But I wont… cuz I is strong goose. 💅

⚠️ ALSO IMPORTANT GOOSE RULE ⚠️
Geese does NOT wanna hear ANY complainin about who you next to!!!
You all frens. You all fabulous. You all support local. END OF DISCUSSION. HONK.
If YOU wanna be on my shirt too…
you gotta tell us BEFORE APRIL 5TH ⏰
Dat is 3 days away and da CUTOFF!!!
After dat… shirts go BRRRRRR 🖨️ and it too late 😬

Don’t be da goose dat waited.
Be da goose dat SHINED ✨

➡️ SPONSORS Can Make a $50 Donation Here and email us your logo to have it on the back of every shirt!
https://www.geesewitherspoon.com/donate

➡️ PARTICIPANTS Can buy $25 tickets here to participate or just have an epic shirt:
https://www.geesewitherspoon.com/events/geese-witherspoons-2k-fun-run

OR U CAN BE BOTH!

All Net Proceeds from the event will go to Lonoke Safe Haven

HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL MY HONKIN SPONSORS DO FAR!!!!

Austin Parks and Rec
Gurdy's LLC
Stage 2 Games
Fiegel's Fix-It
Sisterly Sublimation & DTF
Homesteaders Market
S & S Septic Systems and Plumbing Services LLC
Sweet Sullivan Mini Loaf Cakes
Whiskey Pig Ranch
Twisted Automotive & Diesel LLC
My Decal Gal
Sage Tea & Treats
Knotted & Painted
Ada's Bark Shoppe
The Crazy Heifer Mootique
The Wright Place For Your Loved Ones, LLC
Sylvania Hydraulic & Tractor Repair LLC
Just Jess Digital Designs
The Sprouting Author
Oh My Lanta Sweets
3T’s BBQ & Smash Burgers
D2Z Designz
Walkin R Weldin
Jak's Second Chance Rescue Ranch
Honey B's
Ahillen Acres
The Painted Sloth
The Burger Beastro
The Pink Lily
Fired Up - Cabot
Scorched Laser Designs
Unique Visions
The Local Spark - Cabot
In Motion Productions

PS: I iz buzy goose n so is my frenz. If we missd u SPEAK UP!


04/01/2026

HuGe ahonkments are takin place!! 🪿✨

I’s got somethin BIG to tells yous… but first… don’ts mind me on da video. I’s a lil camera shy (which is wild considerin I’s a celebrity goose), but I’s did my bestest. Please be gentle. Or at least bring snacks.

We’s hostin da 1st Annual 2K Fun Run!! And by run, I means waddlin, struttin, rollin, dramatic faintin halfway… all counts. Dis ain’t about speed. Dis about joy, community, and a whole lotta honkin.

And dis is da most important part… all da moneys we raise is goin to Lonoke County Safe Haven 💛
So every step, every honk, every slightly outta breath moment is helpin somebody who needs it.

So comes out, dress fancy or silly or goose-adjacent… and let’s makes dis a day to remembers.

I’s nervous. I’s excited. I’s ready to honk for a cause.






Is hads lots o fun at Leading Edge Landscaping And Supply dis weekends. Der were so many flours to sniff 🌸🌹🌼🏵🌷👃Dey even ...
04/01/2026

Is hads lots o fun at Leading Edge Landscaping And Supply dis weekends. Der were so many flours to sniff 🌸🌹🌼🏵🌷👃

Dey even sent a 🪴 to my mama 🥹 Hers named it Lady Marmalade....whatever dat means

Tanks for all da fun....even dough is tried to hatch yours rocks 🪨 🥚 🐣 👀

HONK! hi it me geese 🪿I jus want u 2 all no…I am DEFINITLY judging evryone who has not signd up 4 my Fun Run. 👀Why not??...
03/28/2026

HONK! hi it me geese 🪿

I jus want u 2 all no…
I am DEFINITLY judging evryone who has not signd up 4 my Fun Run. 👀

Why not??
u no like geese??
iz 2 lazy??
2 slow??

…dat fine. 🙄

U STILL COME.

Come suport good cauze ❤️
becuz geese has little legs dat go FAST…
but u no havta go fast if u no want to.

u can run 🏃
u can walk 🚶
u can roll 🛞
u can slither 🐍
u can dance 💃
u can dramatic flop at finish line 💅

or u can just buy ticket & look FABULOUS in ur T-shirt 😌✨

I only judge if u no buy ticket. ALL tickets come wit T-shirt. just want da shirt? Fine. buy ticket, dont come, and pick it up at Gurdy's LLC after the fun...

🔗 https://www.geesewitherspoon.com/events/geese-witherspoons-2k-fun-run

🎟️ Get you ticket for my 2K Fun Run!!!
📅 April 11th, 2026 8:00AM
📍 Austin City Park (Austin, AR)
💲 $25 (comes with Shirt!)

IS FOR A HONKING GOOD CAUSE!!! ❤️🪿

No run?? is okay!!
Just show up, waddle around, and be iconic. 💅

🏃‍♀️🪿 THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO DO SOMETHING FUN FOR ONCE 🪿🏃‍♂️Geese Witherspoon is officially taking over Austin… and you’re...
03/27/2026

🏃‍♀️🪿 THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO DO SOMETHING FUN FOR ONCE 🪿🏃‍♂️
Geese Witherspoon is officially taking over Austin… and you’re invited to the 1st Annual 2K Fun Run 💥

Every Ticket Purchased includes a T-Shirt even if you don't feel like running or can't make it! 😉 They will be available for pick-up at Gurdy's after the event!
Get your tickets and/or T-Shirt Here:
https://www.geesewitherspoon.com/events/geese-witherspoons-2k-fun-run

But let’s be clear…
👉 This is NOT your typical “serious runner” event
👉 This is NOT about speed
👉 This IS about fun, chaos, and doing something different all for a good cause

💥 WHAT YOU GET FOR $25:
✔️ A T-SHIRT (because obviously)
✔️ A reason to get out of the house
✔️ A good time with your people
✔️ The chance to walk, run, waddle, crawl, or dramatically flop your way to the finish line
✔️ Bragging rights forever

🏆 PLUS… WE’VE GOT AWARDS:
🥇 Fastest (for the overachievers)
🐢 Slowest (honestly, respect)
🎭 Crowd Favorite (this is where things get competitive 👀)
Huge Shout-Out to D2Z Designz for making these happen!

😂 DRESS HOWEVER YOU WANT:
Ball gowns? ✔️
Tuxedos? ✔️
Wigs ✔️
80s Workout Apparel ✔️
Costumes ✔️
Inflatable goose costumes? HIGHLY encouraged

❤️ AND THE BEST PART:
Net proceeds go to:
👉 Lonoke County Safe Haven
So you’re not just having fun…
you’re doing something that actually matters!

📍 DETAILS:
🗓 April 11th, 2026
⏰ 8:00 AM
📍 Austin City Park
🌦 Rain or Shine (Arkansas weather… we roll with it)
➡️ Tickets Sales Close on April 5th so we have plenty of time to for Sisterly Sublimation & DTF to get them made!

⚠️ WARNING:
If you don’t come…
you will absolutely see pictures of everyone else having a blast
and regret your life choices.

👉 Grab your spot now. Bring your friends. Bring your family. Bring your Geese Witherspoon Attitude.

Let’s make this something everyone talks about all year!

Also an IMMENSE THANK YOU TO OUR GROWING LIST OF SPONSORS! 😁

Austin Parks and Rec
Gurdy's LLC
Stage 2 Games
Fiegel's Fix-It
Homesteaders Market
S & S Septic Systems and Plumbing Services LLC
Sweet Sullivan Mini Loaf Cakes
Whiskey Pig Ranch
Twisted Automotive & Diesel LLC
My Decal Gal
Sage Tea & Treats
Knotted & Painted
Ada's Bark Shoppe
The Crazy Heifer Mootique
The Wright Place For Your Loved Ones, LLC
Sylvania Hydraulic & Tractor Repair LLC
Just Jess Digital Designs
The Sprouting Author
3T’s BBQ & Smash Burgers
Walkin R Weldin
Jak's Second Chance Rescue Ranch
Honey B's
Ahillen Acres
The Painted Sloth
The Burger Beastro


Address

3023 AR-367
Austin, AR
72007

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