07/10/2025
The biggest killer of authenticity is... shame of looking stupid. Let me explain.
For the longest time, I tried to be “interesting” for other people. I thought learning pop culture references was the only way to fit in America, because everyone around me got the jokes, and I didn’t. I didn’t grow up here and I didn’t share the same cultural shorthand.
My husband, who was born in the U.S. (I wasn’t), will hear a tune or phrase and say, “Oh, do you know this?” And I’ll stare at him blankly: “Nope.” When we started dating, I still remember the day he showed me the Pinky and the Brain intro on YouTube. He was surprised I’d never heard of it. But he is the type who giggles with joy when he shares stuff he is excited about.
Then one day, I stopped feeling shame around the subjects, tunes, jokes that I didn’t understand, and I started being just... myself?
I take this approach to life and being authentic very seriously. In my life, in my career, if I don’t know anything, I just say ‘No, I didn’t know that’ or ‘thank you for sharing that with me, I’ll look into it.’ What’s wrong with not knowing? And what’s wrong with admitting that as well? But yeah, I do Google and figure out things too.
Our entire lives are just a cute little package of our experiences, what I know about the world many people don’t, and vice versa. If we remove the shame around fitting in this world via molding ourselves into what the world demands you to, the deep layer under the skin is always... AUTHENTIC.
There is no other and simpler way of explaining the advice when people say ‘be authentic’ or ‘be yourself.’ I learned it and am super proud of the face that I now just... be... myself
