The Daily Pooper

The Daily Pooper An unbiased reviewer of bathrooms offered by establishments. Based in Baltimore, MD. The toilet of the east coast.

Do what you want. Become ungovernable. Bidet with the tears of your enemies. **per **pfree
06/12/2025

Do what you want. Become ungovernable. Bidet with the tears of your enemies.

**per **pfree

Brother-N-Law BBQ Cloudcroft, NM- no occupancy indicatorCountry aesthetic "OUTHOUSE" sign marks the single occupancy Gen...
05/27/2025

Brother-N-Law BBQ
Cloudcroft, NM
- no occupancy indicator
Country aesthetic "OUTHOUSE" sign marks the single occupancy Gentlemens and Ladies restrooms. The handle was broken, but there is a sliding bolt lock. The bathroom was clean and very well lit, with galvanized steel sheeting walls that reflect light well but not blindingly so. The knee-to-tp was not good, as a reminder, I am a larger than average human. Positive Calorie Caucasian if you will. So it's possible the reason I have this issue with every bathroom is because I'm big and tall. Nonetheless p**ping is for everyone, so I will hold fast. The toilet paper was Soviet spec two ply. The toilet had one of those nice new seats that has a tab specifically to grab that won't get gross, as well as the hinge that slowly self-lowers so you dont slam the seat. The sink was perfectly adequate, with knuckle room and average soap. The trash can, however, was cool. Motion detect to open the lid with a timer to shut the lid. The decour was adequate, although oddly religious. The bathroom did not smell but could use an air freshener.

Unrelated to the bathroom, but people drove their side by sides right up to the establishment as well they should. Who are we to nitpick what vehicles can and cannot be road legal? You're telling me a side by side is more dangerous than a motorcycle? Come on. Vehicles are for the people. One of the few freedoms we have left, along with p**ping.

Overall 7/10, would p**p again. In order to attain a perfect score an occupancy indicating deadbolt should be added, the toilet paper should be upgraded to charmin or equivalent, and the door k**b should be fixed. I would suggest an air freshener as well.

Brother-N-Law BBQ. Great people, above average p**ping experience.

**per **pfree

Random Cliffside, Santa Fe National Forest - Jemez Springs, NMThere is no occupancy indicator, but there also isn't anot...
05/25/2025

Random Cliffside, Santa Fe National Forest - Jemez Springs, NM

There is no occupancy indicator, but there also isn't another human for several miles, so who cares? Toilet paper was sublime because I provided it. Charmin ultra or equivalent. Despite a diet of pork belly, beer, slamwiches, and fried bread, you could smell nothing but fresh pine and happiness. A beautiful blue sky, with a cool breeze and a bright but not overbearing sun. As if hand chiseled by the gods, this canyons beauty is unmatched. The knee-to-tp was fantastic, as a perfectly placed pine branch reached out to me as if to say, "You're safe now." The sink was lacking, but given I was miles from the nearest running water, I'll take the warm solar water heater with dawn dish soap. If it's good enough for the ducks, it's good enough for me.

Overall 10/10. Pooper Hall of Fame. I do believe this is the first time I've ever given a 10/10. In honor of this moment, I'll make merch. DM me for ordering details!

Santa Fe National Forest. Breathtaking views, sublime p**ping experience. I will be back.

**per **pfree

The Costco business center in Phoenix, AZ has some of the best toilet paper I've ever used. Very charmin-esque. stay bea...
08/10/2024

The Costco business center in Phoenix, AZ has some of the best toilet paper I've ever used. Very charmin-esque.

stay beautiful.

**per **pfree

Correct thermostat setting **pfree **per
04/07/2024

Correct thermostat setting

**pfree **per

It be like that sometimes
03/20/2024

It be like that sometimes

Urinal cakes the looooooong way **per **pfree
10/19/2023

Urinal cakes the looooooong way

**per **pfree

**per
05/24/2023

**per

Victoria Gastro Pub - Columbia, MD- no occupancy indicatorSplit occupancy multi-person bathrooms, with brass plaques mar...
05/14/2023

Victoria Gastro Pub - Columbia, MD
- no occupancy indicator
Split occupancy multi-person bathrooms, with brass plaques marking the way. A fogged window makes the M defined. A beacon of hope in the distance. There are two stalls in the well lit bathroom, one of which is handi-accessable and has a changing table. There is nice decour on the walls opposite the sink station. Simple slide bolt secures the stalls, no occupancy indicator here. The knee-to-tp is pretty decent, with some narrow government spec TP. The construction is new enough to support better. The sink area is cool. The sinks have great pressure and temperature but have a hint of knuckle f**k to them. Like hint of lime chips. Okay, but actually, hint of like chips are overwhelmingly lime. That's hint of lime the way flipping a car is a fender bender. Hand towels were out of stock.

Overall 6/10 would p**p again. In order to get a perfect score they will have to upgrade the TP, correct the sink spacing, restock the hand towels, and add an occupancy indicating deadbolt. As always, please DM me with any proof of mitigation of these issues to earn a perfect score!

Victoria Gastro Pub. Good people! Above average p**ping experience!

**per **pfree

Dimitri's Restaurant & Carry Out - Baltimore, MD- no occupancy indicatorThe first door you open leads you to a hall with...
05/07/2023

Dimitri's Restaurant & Carry Out - Baltimore, MD
- no occupancy indicator
The first door you open leads you to a hall with a camera and two split occupancy bathrooms. The second door leads you into a poorly lit bathroom. One push button lock and one bolt lock which may or may not secure the door. The bathroom is in need of cleaning, and the TP needs to be restocked into the holder. The holder uses some torx bit that I didn't feel like trying to pick to reload it. The knee-to-tp was ok if the holder had been loaded. The TP was from Greece circa early 2010s. Not great, but it will get the job done. How is the greek economy now? Anyone know? Everything about this bathroom is functional and nothing more. The wrist-to-spout on the sink sucks, as does the temperature, but the pressure is great. The soap is a thick foaming soap in a very aged automatic Cintas dispenser. It's actually pretty good. It has some heft to it, as strange as that sounds. Doesn't feel like that soap that is less viscous than water somehow, you know? The matching 80s looking Cintas paper towel holder also worked great and had some nice hand towels.

Overall, 4/10 would use again but wouldn't be excited about it. In order to earn a perfect score, they will need to fix the lighting, clean the bathroom, add some decour, add an occupancy deadbolt, improve the TP (the plumbing should take it), and do something about the sink area. As always please DM me with any proof of mitigation of these issues to earn a perfect score!

Dimitri's Restaurant & Carry Out. Good people! Below average bathroom.

**per **pfree

La Cuchara - Baltimore, MDLa Cuchara Baltimore There are 5 bathrooms. Every single one has an occupancy indicator. Of c...
04/24/2023

La Cuchara - Baltimore, MD
La Cuchara Baltimore
There are 5 bathrooms. Every single one has an occupancy indicator. Of course, I only looked in the middle one. Interestingly, none of the bathrooms are labeled. I just assumed they would be in one of the back corners of the building, and I was right, but its strange for them to not be labeled. The bathroom is exactly how large a bathroom is in your mind when you think of a bathroom. Sink on the right and throne on the left. The bathroom is well lit and quite clean. Dark colored walls usually beg for more light, but these just ask for a painting or two. The knee-to-tp isn't great, but the TP itself is not bad. Thin but quilted two ply. Not quite government, maybe government contractor. The toilet took a while to flush. You have to hold the handle the whole time. That's more commitment than I got from my ex. Ska music was popular for less time than I held the handle down. Jokes aside, I like Ska what happened to it? Plenty of spare rolls available for anyone tall enough to ride that ride. The wrist-to-spout on the sink was ok, with good pressure but unreliable temperature. The towel holder was mounted such that you couldn't stand exactly in front of the sink, at least if you're tall and broad shouldered. The hand towels themselves were really nice. Shop towel level but better executed.

Overall 7/10 would p**p again. In order to attain a perfect score, they will need to add some decour, adjust the knee-to-tp, fix the flush of the toilet, ensure the water can remain hot, adjust the placement of the towel holder, and lastly add some signs for the bathrooms. Many small things that do not greatly detract from the overall score. As always, please DM me with any proof of mitigation of these issues to earn a perfect score!

La Cuchara. Good people! Above average bathroom. Quality p**ping for the whole neighborhood.

**per **pfree

Dutch Courage - Baltimore, MD Two unisex bathrooms marked by WC (water closet), both with occupancy indicating deadbolt...
04/22/2023

Dutch Courage - Baltimore, MD

Two unisex bathrooms marked by WC (water closet), both with occupancy indicating deadbolts! The bathroom is well lit, with some really quality decour. At first the floor looks dirty but then you realize that it's just the old tile. It looks good, though. The knee-to-tp is perfect, although the TP is government spec, which is likely the best the buildings plumbing can handle. So they get a pass for that. I corrected the extremely incorrect mullet mounted rolls. Extra rolls and cleaning supplies are available in the cabinet across the room from the toilet. The toilet has a really nice feature I've been hoping to see develop. A spot for you to grab when you lift the lid, which is on a different plane than the bottom of the toilet seat. Toilet seat bottoms are often concave, allowing anything that splashes to collect under the seat. Then, when you lift it, you run the risk of touching it. Gross. The sink area is well laid out. Cintas functional soap on the right, and really quality paper towels on the left. The wrist-to-spout is good, and the sink looks like it will splash, but it doesn't. The pressure is good, but the temperature is unreliable. Seems to fluctuate between almost warm and cold. I couldn't get a stable temperature and I'm very sad about that.

Overall 9/10 would absolutely p**p again. I so badly want to give this bathroom a 10. In order to get a perfect score the hot water must be hot. That's it. This is a contender for the Hall of Fame. As always, please DM me with any proof of mitigation of these issues to earn a perfect score!

Dutch Courage. Great people! Outstanding bathroom! Family friendly experience!

**per **pfree

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