07/21/2026
This is probably the number one question we get from couples after kids.
How do we get out of it?
First off, it’s a hard season neither one of you has ever experienced. There’s the person you were before kids and the person you become after kids. That person is uncharted territory. It can be the best thing to ever happen to you. It holds some of life’s most profound moments.
But that person isn’t the one your partner married. That person didn’t have kids yet. That person didn’t know how much they would have to change or how much their marriage would change.
It’s hard for us to say goodbye to a version of ourselves we’ve known for so long. Up until that moment, we knew exactly who we were. Then we had a child and a mirror was placed directly in front of us. Everything we put to the side, everything we thought we’d never have to deal with, suddenly becomes the very thing that will either break us or make us better.
As your marriage goes on, especially after kids, you will have to change. You will have to work on the things you’ve put to the side. You will have to understand your partner in ways you never had to before. That takes work.
But on the other side of that is a partnership so strong, you feel like you can take on anything.
My wife and I talk a lot about this on our podcast, The Tired Dad & Tired Mom.
Comment PODCAST and I’ll send it to you.