14/08/2025
Resentment: The Quiet Poison in Moto Parenting
I wish I caught his name. A Moto trainer in a video broke it down so simply, I’ve been thinking about it since.
He said: Picture this - you buy your kid a new 65cc race bike. Not cheap. Maybe you didn’t even have the extra money, but you did it anyway because “it’s for them.” You pay for training. You take them to practice. You’re standing there watching, expecting to see hunger, grit, something.
But maybe you don’t see it. Maybe they’re not pushing. Maybe they’re struggling. Race day comes, and after all the travel, the tires, the gas, the entry fees, the hotels, the time, they pull a fifth. Or a tenth. Or they don’t finish.
And there it is - the spark.
Racing with Resentment
If you’re here from our chat about PW’s at Loretta’s - welcome back. That conversation lit a fire because it pulled the curtain back on one corner of a bigger problem. And this time, we’re not just talking about the youngest classes. We’re looking at an issue that runs through every gate drop in every class: the way our own expectations as parents can twist the sport into something it was never meant to be.
It Builds Faster than You Can a Top-End.
The resentment.
I’ve been there. I’ve felt it. In my case, it was worse because MotoKid’s dad was relentless about it and I fell hard into it, too. Every race was a dissection of mistakes. Every conversation was about how our kid should have done better - even when he won, and often by a lot. The pressure was constant, and the joy got squeezed out fast.
Here’s the thing - this is racing. It’s hard. It demands toughness. If your kid wants it, they’ve got to learn to push, and yes, sometimes we have to help them with that. That’s parenting.
But there’s a difference between parenting a motocross racer to be better - and trying to as***le your kid into being faster for your own ego because you’ve spent the time, the money, and you’ve decided everything is on the line. A lot of the time, MotoKid didn’t even ask for it. (Sometimes they do, and yes - they should work for the privileges they have!)
Then there’s the part nobody wants to say out loud: a lot of this is for us.
This sport is our hobby too. Something we love. Something our kids might happen to also love. But when your lap of joy starts depending on theirs, you’ve crossed into dangerous territory.
The AMA puts it plain:
“As with any sport that involves young people, there are sometimes parents that push too hard for success — the classic ‘Little League Parent Syndrome.’ Unlike other sports, however, pushing your child too hard in motorsports can result in your child — and possibly other children — getting injured.”
That’s the wake-up call. This isn’t soccer. You don’t get to scream from the sidelines without consequence. In motocross, pressure doesn’t just hurt feelings—it can get people hurt.
They also say:
“Give your children enough time and space to develop their skills at their own speed… Remember that the most important thing in racing is to have fun and to spend time with family.”
And they’re right.
But here’s the gut-punch reality: the more we invest, the more we expect.
The Kids Know
We like to think our kids don’t pick up on our moods. We like to believe that if we don’t yell, they won’t feel the weight. But they do. They hear the long sighs when they roll off the track. They see the look on our face when we check the results sheet. They notice when our post-race voice is colder than usual.
It doesn’t take long for them to connect the dots:
I didn’t ride fast enough = Mom’s disappointed. Dad’s angry. The drive home will be tense.
And here’s the cruel part - those expectations rarely rise because of their performance. They rise because of our investment. The more we spend, the more weekends we sacrifice, the more hotels and race haulers and late nights and miles we rack up, the more we need it to “pay off.”
That’s not their burden, but we hand it to them anyway.
The heartbreak is watching kids go from loving every lap to scanning the fencing for our reactions even mid-moto. The joy turns into pressure. The gate drop turns into a test they can’t ever ace - because the bar keeps moving.
One coach told The Guardian, “When winning or performance becomes the only measure, children stop playing for themselves and start playing to manage their parents’ emotions.”
Racing just to make sure dad doesn't lose his s**t. That mom doesn't slam the camper door in MotoKid's face.
That’s the slow death of a racer’s passion right there. And once that switch flips, getting it back is damn near impossible.
Getting Back to the Love
So what’s the fix? It’s not quitting - unless that’s truly what your kid wants. It’s not pretending racing is easy or that they don’t need to work hard. This sport is hard. It should be. The lessons it teaches - discipline, grit, personal responsibility - are worth the sweat.
But the key is to know the difference between coaching your kid to be their best, and riding them to feed your own ego.
That means:
-Checking your motives before you load the trailer (or buy the trailer in the first place).
-Cooling your temper before you talk about a moto.
-Recognizing when the pressure is about your pride instead of their progress.
-You can still push. You can still set goals. You can still invest in their growth. But you can’t tie your kid’s worth—or your own—to the number on a results sheet.
That Moto trainer was right: chill the hell out or you'll be swimming with loathing from something you created- and you'll ruin the very thing you think you’re building.
See You Sunday,
-MotoMom
Read more at https://www.motomommedia.com/post/resentment-the-quiet-poison-in-moto-parenting
The Moto Academy -this was inspired by https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Lpcna5gpd/?
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MotoMom Media writer Courtney Specht is an internationally published photographer, author, and speaker. Through MotoMom Media, she shares insight and perspective on the culture of motocross racing and parenting, drawing from over 30 years of experience in the racing industry.
