09/09/2016
This is chapter one of the soon to be released Sweet Comfort.
email: [email protected] and tell me your thoughts. Thank you. :)
SWEET COMFORT
MYRA RUTLEDGE
Sweet Comfort
Copyright ©2016 by Myra Rutledge
“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”
−Galatians 5:16
SWEET COMFORT
Chapter One
September 2012
In Payne’s presence, enduring weak sermons on Sundays had gotten better. I’d been in this little church, Beulah Baptist, my entire twenty-five years. From the moment Daddy placed those dollars in my tiny toddler hands to lay in the offering plate, giving became real to me. He’d say, “Wear a smile and give God your first fruits, baby. Don’t forget, now. If we give sparingly, we get sparingly.” He and Mom imparted a heart of giving to my sister, Joy and I. This duty surely kept me in good standing at Beulah Baptist and with God, who loves a cheerful giver.
Sitting on the front row pew during a mid-week Bible study given by Payne, I crossed long, lean legs that brought many compliments since the day I swore off pants as daily attire. A black pencil skirt accompanied a gold silk, fitted blouse that opened to reveal a peek of thirty-six B’s standing to perfect attention with the help of a push-up bra. This was still the church, so I managed a restrained cleverness in my attempts to seduce this man with sexiness. This man was wickedly too handsome. I compared him to the type airbrushed in the magazines.
I sat poised for Payne’s entrance when Deacon Ray stood at the podium instead of Payne. I adjusted in the seat uncrossing my legs and fastening the silk blouse to resemble the wholesome little girl Deacon Ray gave peppermint patties to at the end of Sunday school, right before he’d pinch my chubby cheeks and send me on my jolly way. My chubby cheeks caught everybody’s attention during my childhood. People in the church made these statements: “I just gotta pinch ‘em! What a cute, chubby little girl. Give me them cheeks!” This encouraged me to lose the baby fat. My desire was to design evening gowns and model them at my own fashion shows. With conscious eating and exercising, I entered high school with a toned body I’d kept throughout the years.
“Good evening, Saints,” Deacon Ray uttered in his normal diminutive wiggly voice. Even though he’d use a microphone, we’d strain to hear him at times. “When Brother Payne called me, I was downstairs with Deacon Johnson about to come up here for Bible study. We are so blessed to have Brother Payne with us now. With a lot of our elderly not able to come out for Bible study during the night hours, Payne has helped us a lot. Most of y’all know I suffer from a disease called night blindness…but Deacon Johnson’s been able to drive me since he changed shifts at work. God is still working things out at Beulah. We been praying for young people to come, and we got Brother Payne. Pastor Jennings is a bit under the weather this evening but hopes to be better for Sunday service.” Deacon Ray looked over the crowd pausing before speaking again. “I see we got a good crowd here tonight to hear God’s Word. Thank y’all for coming out, but I’m sorry. Brother Payne won’t be teaching Bible study this evening. He’s at the hospital with his grandmamma, Sister Williams. She had another medical emergency.”
The crowd mumbled in dismay. I heard them ranting: “Oh, no!” A voice cried out from amongst the crowd.
“What! Where is he?” Another voice uttered. “Shhh…let’s hear what the old man gotta to say.”
“Nope!” I heard a raunchy voice from the back of the church squeal. “That’s my exit.”
I looked around to see a heavy-set woman with a curly, fire-red weave the length of her back, walk out the door with other women trailing behind her. I was also disappointed Payne wasn’t coming but had concerns for Sister Williams’s health.
“Can’t we bow our heads for prayer, Saints?” Deacon Ray offered, still standing in place.
With heads lowered, Deacon Ray beckoned as usual, though the Lord couldn’t hear him unless his prayers were long winded. I lifted my head with eyes amazed. The small sanctuary oozed with women who were not members of Beulah Baptist. Payne was the common denominator. Payne’s facilitation of Bible study was entering its third week with a rapid growing attendance of mostly women. The little church could hold approximately four-hundred people at the maximum. I estimated nearly one-tenth of that number of women presented themselves on this Wednesday evening. A record high for Beulah’s Bible study. The women in attendance were young women when most of Beulah’s female members were old and somebody’s grandmamma, except for a few like me, who’d grown up in the church and never left. During Deacon Ray’s prayer, people began tip-toeing out the sanctuary. I thought to follow their lead. I eased from the front-row pew and began maneuvering through the crowd, determined to reach the sanctuary’s door leading to the outside. My hand laid claim to the door’s silver k**b handle as Deacon Ray injected louder into the microphone and halted my desperation to leave. A quick turn to the right would’ve opened the sanctuary’s door to the outside. I hesitated to turn the k**b and stepped back from the door for other women to continue their exits.
“I have the notes where Brother Williams left us last week.” Deacon Ray watched the
exiting crowd. “If you will take your seats, we can get started with the lesson.” Deacon Ray expounded over muted sounds of multiple stiletto heels hitting the deep red-carpeted flooring.
I stood in the vestibule holding the Bible my late grandmamma gifted me years ago with my name, Comfort Elouise Sides, inscribed across its leather covering. Guilt had trickled through my loins robbing me of the desire to leave. I turned around to walk against the crowd of disappointed young women rushing out the door. A reflection of Deacon Ray holding my trembling body before dipping me in the lukewarm baptismal pool during my baptism at ten clouded my mind and halted my escape. Back then, he’d consoled me while saying, “Everythang’s gonna be all right, ‘cause you belong to God now.” I couldn’t abandon Deacon Ray to teach before vacant pews. He had my back during that time, and I needed to have his back now. We were family.
Coasting back inside the sanctuary, I sat down in the pew nearest the door lowering my head as Deacon Ray prayed for Sister Williams’s illness, the other sick and shut-in, our church family, and Pastor Jennings. He then went on to send up the constant prayer for young men to join Beulah Baptist Church. He also thanked God for sending Payne Williams back to Beulah. Afterward, Deacon Ray shared a few Bible scriptures with the five of us left seated in the sanctuary. He was an old man in his late eighties who rambled at times. It was understandable why Beulah had put out an All-Points Bulletin for young men to join our church.
I left the church with intentions of driving past Sister Williams’s house. I turned onto Darling Street noticing Payne’s mint-green Porsche he’d driven from New York parked in the driveway. People in the church were celebrating him as a cultured businessman. I liked that about him.
I backed up the utility work van, a tax break for my clothing business, Comforting Sides, and parked parallel to the curve. I wondered about Sister Williams’s health and was destined to do my Christian duty. In these later years, I’d lost track with Sister Williams. Before old age and illness inhabited her flesh, Sister Williams’s vibrant demeanor paired with the colorful clothes she wore. A beautiful, classy hat decorated elegant apparel each Sunday. Medium-heeled shoes, mostly pumps, completed the attire, along with a matching handbag. No doubt, she put the sophistication in church lady.
I pressed the doorbell with the assurance that Sister Williams’s illness granted me the nerve I needed to personally approach this man outside of the church. I felt a bit apprehensive about this man. I was somewhat shy. Somewhat sneaky. Those feelings confused me.
Payne opened the glass enclosed beige storm door trimmed in bright yellow. “What a pleasant surprise to see you!” Payne gleamed. “C’mon inside.” I’d already concluded that he was a good-natured man the moment I saw him with his grandmamma at church. After this melodious greeting, he’d resolved the uncertainty I felt for stopping at his house.
“It’s not my style to visit without calling first, but I’m concerned about Sister Williams,” I began to explain while entering the door. “I was at Bible study waiting for you to teach when Deacon Ray came to inform us about Sister Williams’s illness. So on my way home, I noticed your car parked in the driveway and thought it would be okay to check on Sister Williams.” I wasn’t lying because my intentions were to go home. I’d simply taken the longer route.
“No problem. Come in the living room and have a seat.” Payne led the way. I took a seat on the couch as he continued to say, “I’m glad to see you.”
With him saying that, I was encouraged. I gazed about the vibrant living room with shame that I hadn’t been inside Sister Williams’s home since high school. That’s when she’d have those Saturday evening bake sales to raise money for Beulah Baptist Children’s Athletics. I suppose there wasn’t a need to have fundraisers for children who were not at the church anymore. And, with Deacon Williams, her husband, dying several years back, and her own illness, she’d been reclusive in doing extra activities.
I sat on the couch, a bit edgy about revealing my assets to Payne in his grandmamma’s house. Each button on my silk blouse stayed fastened. The black pencil skirt stretched over my knees as Payne sat across from me.
“Is Sister Williams upstairs in bed?”
“No, ah, she’s at the hospital.”
“I didn’t know she was in the hospital! Which hospital?”
“Ahhh, you can’t go up there tonight.” The Queen Anne chair Payne sat in was professionally covered in plastic and was a twin to the plastic covered couch I sat on. The Victorian furniture was as lively as I remembered in bright yellow and white striped print. “They have her in ICU, and the visiting hours are over for the evening.”
“ICU?”
“For overnight observations. The last episode was a bad one for her. She’s better off with the medical staff around her. I tell ya, in times like these, I should’ve gone to medical school.” Payne gave a short sigh. “This way I could be more help to my grandma during this time in her life.”
Payne’s weariness encompassed his voice and appearance. He needed a shave. With his shirt unbuttoned, my eyes drifted with embarrassing lust-filled thoughts.
“Don’t worry. God has it all under control,” I reassured. “Back in the day, Sister Williams was there for the kids at church. She helped us with summer activities by raising money with her bake sales.”
“Yes. She’s always been fervent about children and their well-being. She worked with the children during my childhood, too. A little before your time, though.” Payne rubbed his chin in conscientious thought. “I remember you as a child,” he blurted as though he’d triggered a brain wave. “You were a chubby little girl with round cheeks everybody pinched.” He laughed. “I was a grown man already back then, but I remember you getting upset about being teased. You’d poke your mouth out and run to your Daddy. I overheard him telling you one Sunday, ‘Baby, they just showing you how much they love you. That’s all.’
I could’ve been a poster girl for bringing sexy back, yet, he remembered my fat days as a child. With my skirt dragged over my knees and feet plastered flat to the floor, discomfort raged. I relaxed the fitting skirt a bit above the knees. Crossing my legs would’ve been a great relief, but I dared not to let that happen.
“That was a long time ago. I’m not a child anymore,” I quickly let him know.
Liken to an afterthought Payne buttoned his shirt; leaving me out in the cold from what I’d been admiring, a hairy chest and luscious six-pack. This validated him mastering a fitness routine and eating healthy foods.
“Will you excuse me?” Payne jumped from the chair. “I was about to get in the shower when you ranged the doorbell.”
“Well, I─”
“Never mind leaving.” In my attempts to stand, Payne waved me down with his hand. “As I said before, I’m glad you’re here. I’m stressed out. I’ve turned the house phone to mute, but the hospital has my cell phone number. I know people at church are concerned, but at this moment in time, I’m not willing to talk to anyone else. I hope everybody will understand and forgive me for missing Bible study tonight.”
“Of course. You have to take care of your grandmamma.” I took on aggressive girl mode. “Have you eaten? I can make ─ “
“How about letting me take you out?”
“Huh?”
“I’ve gotta get outta this house. I need to be sociable.” Payne rushed toward the stairs. Still talking, he turned and smiled at me. “Tell you what! I’m going to get a shower and shave while you think of a nice restaurant. Let me treat you. Pick the best. Cost is never an option for me. Just wait for me.” He winked at me and sprinted up the refined wooden paneled stairs before I’d given him an answer. He must’ve had faith to know I’d wait for him.
I could’ve been knocked over with an itty-bitty-teeny-weeny feather if one had floated through the air in that immaculate cottage styled home. Payne asked me out to dinner. Should I have considered this a date? On the other hand, was this simply a man needing company for the evening? Whatever it was, I was elated to be with this man. Alone. And away from the church. I was going to ride in the Porsche. It was a nice fall evening. I hoped he’d roll the top of his Porsche back to enjoy the breezy September evening with me.
