01/06/2026
My wife captured this photo of me journaling at a beach in San Pedro during our amazing trip over Christmas and New Year. The picture she captured spoke to me because it documented to me the last several years, since retiring, writing instead of being toxic,
I have been journaling and finding a voice in writing the truth of my life, what I witnessed, and the absurdity of trying to be a cop and do a job that wasn't meant for productivity, effectiveness, or helping beyond the surface. Much more to be said on that later.
When I'm journaling, I can speak the truth I've always wanted to, and I'm learning to start connecting all those pent-up feelings and emotions and to give them meaning. Meaning through honoring my feelings and moving forward from where I'm at now.
Not a lot of people want to truly talk about their feelings... hell many of us don't know our neighbors' names, or something minor has happened to sever that relationship long ago.
Journaling has brought me a voice, as well as peace. Combined with decades of documentation, I'm finally realizing the absurdity of what I've faced, and I'm at TOTAL PEACE with where I'm at and the journey I'm on.
I want peace, but if peace can't be had, TRUTH WILL speak and then REFORM can be had after evidence is presented...
Thank you to my Angel for capturing this moment, which is very meaningful in my journey right now, and to ALWAYS being there for me even when it isn't fun or pretty. One day I WILL thank God when I'm standing there in front of Him that He put you in my life. I love you.