The Surreal Times

The Surreal Times A newspaper is required to document the history currently unfolding. The Surreal Times newspaper is based in Amherst, Massachusetts.

Now with a Bureau at S.T.E.M Open Mic in Kendall.

Some news is so real it needs to be protected
12/25/2021

Some news is so real it needs to be protected

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED WHEN A RODENT TEETHER AND A TOBOT ROOTHER KISSED?It was bad enough when folks started replacing the...
08/13/2021

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED WHEN A RODENT TEETHER AND A TOBOT ROOTHER KISSED?

It was bad enough when folks started replacing their teeth with robots, but then more people started replacing them with rats. What happens when you combine the two? Find out why.

PSA: BEWARE OF SURREAL TIMES IMPOSTERS!!A few months back, our social media account was hacked! Who are the nefarious "C...
08/11/2021

PSA: BEWARE OF SURREAL TIMES IMPOSTERS!!

A few months back, our social media account was hacked! Who are the nefarious "Cereal Times" and what do these copycat publications mean for the future of journalism?

UNUSUAL TEACHING METHODS AT CHIPTOOTH KINDERGARTEN The controversial school, known for their "off-kilter" approaches to ...
08/10/2021

UNUSUAL TEACHING METHODS AT CHIPTOOTH KINDERGARTEN

The controversial school, known for their "off-kilter" approaches to education, have developed a new method of helping their students absorb knowledge? What are "BRAIN BATHS?" FiThe controversial school, known for their "off-kilter" approaches to education, have developed a new method of helping their students absorb knowledge? What are "BRAIN BATHS?" Fi out why.

TALKING TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT THE WORKER ELVES THAT LIVE IN YOUR BODYThis mother shows you how to have difficult conversat...
08/05/2021

TALKING TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT THE WORKER ELVES THAT LIVE IN YOUR BODY

This mother shows you how to have difficult conversations with your child. Is your body really flesh and blood or a series of machines controlled by tiny men?

TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT THE "WORKER ELVES" THAT LIVE IN YOUR BODYThere comes a time when a parent has to have "the ta...
08/05/2021

TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT THE "WORKER ELVES" THAT LIVE IN YOUR BODY

There comes a time when a parent has to have "the talk" with their kids. Read about how this mother opens up to her son about the secret worker elves that control people's bodies.

UNIONS OPPOSE CORPORATE PIANO METHOD The CEO of Informatics Accelerated claims that dangling a giant grand piano over hi...
08/03/2021

UNIONS OPPOSE CORPORATE PIANO METHOD

The CEO of Informatics Accelerated claims that dangling a giant grand piano over his employees' heads increases productivity, but for some it is an inhumane of workers' rights.

BRAVE DOG STOPS HOME INTRUDER, TORTURES HIM IN BASEMENT FOR 6 MONTHS(Pictured: Unrelated Dog and Man, both very good, wo...
08/02/2021

BRAVE DOG STOPS HOME INTRUDER, TORTURES HIM IN BASEMENT FOR 6 MONTHS

(Pictured: Unrelated Dog and Man, both very good, would not torture a fly.)

MY TONGUE HAS BECOME A SNAKE - Dear Jupiter, Advice ColumnistDo you have a complicated relationship with your tongue? De...
07/30/2021

MY TONGUE HAS BECOME A SNAKE - Dear Jupiter, Advice Columnist

Do you have a complicated relationship with your tongue? Dear Jupiter can help!

Being single is tough, but Big Mama Terrible of the Terrible clan has shared some of her expert dating advice. Wanna get...
07/28/2021

Being single is tough, but Big Mama Terrible of the Terrible clan has shared some of her expert dating advice. Wanna get to third base? Check out these great one-liners!

Link in bio! New articles out now!

FURRY FEMINISM REVITALIZES HAIR ANYWHERE SPRAYThe controversial hair spray has revitalized a new feminist revolution. Wo...
07/27/2021

FURRY FEMINISM REVITALIZES HAIR ANYWHERE SPRAY

The controversial hair spray has revitalized a new feminist revolution. Woman from all over the area are now flaunting their extreme body hair, embracing their natural roots.

Link in bio. New issue out now!

CONTAGIOUS HICCUPERS REQUIRED TO GLUE KAZOOS TO FACEIn order to control the spread of Hiccups 2021, citizens infected wi...
07/26/2021

CONTAGIOUS HICCUPERS REQUIRED TO GLUE KAZOOS TO FACE

In order to control the spread of Hiccups 2021, citizens infected with the virus are asked to wear government-approved kazoos. This will hopefully decrease infections and return the U.S back to a state of normalcy.

Link in bio. New issue out now!!

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