Love Letters

Love Letters A daily advice column on Boston.com. A podcast brought to you by The Boston Globe. Season 10: Can people really change? Hosted by Meredith Goldstein.

On the Love Letters page, you'll get daily letters, updates, photos, and information about LL events.

"Everyone keeps asking us what 'we’re' doing for the holidays, and honestly, we haven’t figured it out yet. I feel guilt...
11/28/2025

"Everyone keeps asking us what 'we’re' doing for the holidays, and honestly, we haven’t figured it out yet. I feel guilty about potentially disappointing anyone, but I also know we need to start creating our own traditions as a couple.

How do we set healthy boundaries with our families while still honoring the relationships that matter to us? And how do we begin building our own traditions without feeling like we’re rejecting theirs? I don’t want to spend our first married holiday season stressed about logistics instead of celebrating our new life together."

Comment your thoughts below, and read the full letter: https://www.boston.com/love-letters/marriage/where-do-we-spend-the-holidays-as-a-newly-married-couple/

"I’ve been in a relationship with the same person for more than 15 years and married for 10 of those. My spouse is good ...
11/21/2025

"I’ve been in a relationship with the same person for more than 15 years and married for 10 of those. My spouse is good at the day-to-day – but they do not invite me to or accept my invitations to major life events. (Specifically, I’m talking about graduations, weddings, and funerals.)

There’s always an excuse or a rationale, which usually comes to childcare, the expense of travel, or some combination of those that makes it a logistical issue.

I want someone who will be with me (and wants to be with me!) during these fairly public rituals, and I’m worried that it means that when the big events hit – like, when my mom dies! – I’ll be alone, or, even if they physically show up, we’ll have a 'major life event' muscle so severely underdeveloped that I’ll still be left fending for myself.

How do we build this muscle when these 'life events' come up, maximum, once a year, and how do I bring it up when, in the past, we’ve gone alone, despite my preference?"

Read more: https://www.boston.com/love-letters/untagged/doesnt-join-me-for-weddings-or-funerals/

"I don’t know if he has a partner or is married. I looked but he was wearing a glove because of all of the paint mixing....
11/14/2025

"I don’t know if he has a partner or is married. I looked but he was wearing a glove because of all of the paint mixing.

How would you go about finding out? And if he is single and available, what do I do?

I thought about casually dropping off a Dunkin’ for his next break as a thank you for all the help and advice, hoping to see if anything sparks.

Is this a bad idea?" Comment your thoughts below, and read the letter: https://www.boston.com/love-letters/dating/cute-man-at-home-depot-is-he-single/

Submit an anonymous relationship question between now and Friday, Nov. 14., and be entered to win a pair of seats to a s...
11/10/2025

Submit an anonymous relationship question between now and Friday, Nov. 14., and be entered to win a pair of seats to a special Globe Summit conversation between Elin Hilderbrand and Meredith Goldstein on Nov 18.

They'll dish about main characters, love interests, TV adaptations, new stories, and more. Enter now: https://www.boston.com/question-for-meredith/

"I sort of treated ChatGPT as a therapist, or maybe more of a friend, since it was more to vent to and get validation th...
11/08/2025

"I sort of treated ChatGPT as a therapist, or maybe more of a friend, since it was more to vent to and get validation than take advice from. However, I know this isn’t a great idea, so I stopped using it and haven’t for a month, and I won’t let myself because I would likely fall back into using that.

But now I’m left with those thoughts, with no one to vent them to and get an objective (and maybe positive) response from."

Who do you talk to when you need support? Comment below, and read the full letter: https://www.boston.com/love-letters/relationships/who-do-i-talk-to-when-i-need-support-chatgpt/

A breakup song isn’t necessarily a divorce song.Breakup songs are usually about rejection, the kind of heartbreak that f...
11/07/2025

A breakup song isn’t necessarily a divorce song.

Breakup songs are usually about rejection, the kind of heartbreak that feels literal, yearning that won’t go away, anger after being hurt by a lover, or the spiritual high that comes with moving on.

Divorce songs can allude to those feelings of loss and hurt, they also get into the minutiae of logistics. They take a few beats to mention finances or step-relatives. There's also a quality in them that’s harder to describe, something that suggests the songwriter believed in the contract of marriage (or wanted to), and now has to figure out how to maintain their faith in the rituals surrounding love.

What are your favorite divorce songs? Read more: https://www.boston.com/love-letters/love-letters/2025/11/07/divorce-playlist-songs/

"He got an image of a snake that in my culture implies someone is untrustworthy and sneaky. The man I married is neither...
10/31/2025

"He got an image of a snake that in my culture implies someone is untrustworthy and sneaky. The man I married is neither, and I don’t like looking at that image on his body because of the negative association. He tried to explain that it’s 'just a cool design,' but I can’t help but see it differently.

I don’t want to infringe on his bodily autonomy or self-expression, but he keeps on making more appointments and covering his body with more tattoos I don’t like."

What do you think? Comment your thoughts below, and read the full letter: https://www.boston.com/love-letters/marriage/i-hate-my-husbands-tattoos/

For those interested in having a very Love Letters Halloween, with friends or partners, Meredith Goldstein has a list of...
10/30/2025

For those interested in having a very Love Letters Halloween, with friends or partners, Meredith Goldstein has a list of spooky movies that bring together romance, relationships, and horror.

See the full list: https://trib.al/uAJt4q8

Meredith Goldstein spoke with director Ivy Meeropol on Sunday at the closing night of GlobeDocs Film Festival, following...
10/27/2025

Meredith Goldstein spoke with director Ivy Meeropol on Sunday at the closing night of GlobeDocs Film Festival, following the screening of "Ask E. Jean."

Centered around fearlessness and friendship, the film dove into E. Jean Carroll's personal life, career as a journalist, and lawsuits against President Donald Trump for s*xual abuse and defamation.

Read more about "Ask E. Jean" and GlobeDocs Film Festival: https://globedocs2025.splashthat.com/

This letter writer wrote about a man she dated briefly in high school — and is still seeing even though he is married."O...
10/12/2025

This letter writer wrote about a man she dated briefly in high school — and is still seeing even though he is married.

"Our connection has always been strong, though I went away to college, came home for a bit, and then moved to a place where I eventually married a man I met in college. I loved this ex from high school through it all.

During all the breaks at home, we would hook up. In between all my boyfriends, he and I would spend time together, which almost always included s*x. (We have great s*x.) We eventually drifted apart a couple of years before I was married. He never left my mind.

Then came Facebook, and we reconnected. I got divorced, moved back close to him, had a weird th*****me with him and his wife, who eventually shut it down. We still had – and have – s*x behind her back.

I am pretty sure he will never leave his wife, and while this is the worst thing (morally) I have going on in my life, this strong connection, great s*x, and feeling that I get when I am with him (like I am 17 again) keeps me from stopping the relationship."

Comment your thoughts below, and read the full letter: https://www.boston.com/love-letters/relationships/is-this-affair-about-feeling-young-again/

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Welcome to Love Letters

Love Letters is a daily dispatch of advice for the lovelorn, courtesy of Columnist Meredith Goldstein. Get advice, give advice, and read the column at loveletters.boston.com.