
10/05/2023
This Letter Writer feels like he should walk away.
"That’s your intuition talking, so listen," responds Meredith Goldstein.
Read the full letter here:
My heart is hers and I know I’m the man she deserves.
Love Letters is a daily dispatch of advice for the lovelorn. Ask questions, get answers from columnis
On the Love Letters page, you'll get daily letters, updates, photos, and information about LL events.
This Letter Writer feels like he should walk away.
"That’s your intuition talking, so listen," responds Meredith Goldstein.
Read the full letter here:
My heart is hers and I know I’m the man she deserves.
This Letter Writer is navigating an unexpected age gap.
"I feel like I am in a position that would result in me being judged by others even if we did ever get together for a true relationship."
Read here:
It turns out her job was just a summer job and she was returning to college.
This Letter Writer's boyfriend saves pictures of Instagram models, and she doesn't know what to think.
"I feel like I don't match up with the body types of the women he likes on Instagram and it makes me feel ugly."
Read the full letter here:
I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 27. We've been dating for about five months. I understand it's still early, I just don't want to be hurt in the long run. I recently noticed that he saves pictures of Instagram models.…
This Letter Writer is worrying about a hug.
"The woman gave my husband a hug goodbye. This really made me anxious. Is my anxiousness justified?"
Read the full letter here:
Dear Love Letters, My husband and I went to a couple's home for dinner. They are new friends, and we had a very nice evening and really enjoyed their company. At the end of the evening they asked if my…
This Letter Writer is balancing dating with being a friend and a business partner.
"My worry is that if I do enter into a romantic relationship, I will lose the friendship with him."
Read the full letter here:
I haven't spoken to him about my love life. I have no idea if he's holding out hope that maybe I'll be interested in him.
This Letter Writer built their relationship during COVID. But now, they're unsure of the next move.
"I feel ready to spread my wings and get out of survival mode, and I'm not sure how to do it from here."
Read the full letter here:
"... the idea of throwing away this amazing relationship to pursue something I can't even name is really hard."
This Letter Writer is a recent college grad looking to settle down.
"I feel like a fish out of water being the only young person who wants something serious right now, and I'm feeling discouraged."
Read the full letter here:
Hi Meredith, I am a 22-year-old recent college graduate who has moved back to Boston with family. I am working temp office positions while searching for my "dream job." I am also in a weird place relationship-wise. After getting out…
This Letter Writer is torn between love and academics.
"I’m debating putting dating on a long-term freeze so I can put my head down and finish my PhD sans distractions."
Read the full letter here:
Hi Meredith! Dating has not been going my way for some time now. I'm a gay man in my 20s living in Seattle. I'm a full-time PhD student attempting to balance dating with other aspects of my life like…
On a whim, this Letter Writer emailed their ex — and he responded. What's their next move?
"Do not open the email, do not respond, delete it and block the address," responds Meredith Goldstein.
Read the full letter here:
I'm 23 years old, and this is going to sound so utterly foolish because so many years have gone by. My first relationship was long-distance. I was 15/16 and my ex was 20. He didn't tell me his age at…
This Letter Writer is pondering some big moves post-divorce.
"Am I crazy for considering marriage and a child again so soon?"
Read the full letter here:
Met "TH" in college. We connected, sparks, etc. But as he puts it, "She was too shy and I was too high." Over the years we would reconnect periodically, but it never got serious. New Year's 2011, I was set…
This Letter Writer is in two casual relationships, but is looking for more.
"I don't see how I am going to develop anything with someone while sort of dating these two women."
Read the full letter here:
Dear Meredith and Esteemed Commenters, I am a 27-year-old man. I am currently dating (but not really dating) two women. The first woman is 42. She is extremely attractive. She is married, though. Her husband travels for work about half…
This Letter Writer fell for their first date after a long-term relationship.
"It was the one scenario I hadn't planned out at all – that she would actually like me, or that I would like her."
Read the full letter here:
Now it's five months later, and I love her.
This Letter Writer has become the caretaker in their relationship, and is starting to think about the dynamics within it.
"I've been having a thought gnawing in the back of my mind that we may be codependent and toxic to each other."
Read here:
My mate of 10 years and I have been through a lot. He's been hospitalized for an accident that left him disabled (unable to work) from a stroke and brain injury, so now he's home with me all the time…
New month, new you. Or something like that. What are your love, dating, relationship, and single-life questions?
It's back-to-school, clean-slate time. As always, we want to hear from you.
In a recent Sidebar episode of Love Letters podcast, Meredith and her sister Brette caught up. (Brette really caught up on Vanderpump Rules.) They discussed your letters and which ones they find themselves drawn to reading.
You can submit your own Love Letters to by emailing [email protected]. 💌
This Letter Writer wants children, but her boyfriend isn't entirely convinced — and she's questioning the future of the relationship.
"Dating is hard, but so is having kids with someone who isn't 100 percent on board," writes Meredith Goldstein.
Read:
In my mind, he was my forever person and I saw our struggles as a bump in the road, but instead he'd started to question things.
You're invited and there's cake. Even better, you don't even have to leave the house.
Love Letters has been given links to a free Amazon preview screening of the upcoming film, Sitting In Bars With Cake, starring Yara Shahidi, Odessa A’zion, Ron Livingston, and Bette Midler. It’s the story of two women who decide to bring cake to bars for a year – they call it “cakebarring” – extroversion. It’s really the tale of two best friends who support each other during the toughest and best times. Meredith has not seen the film, but expects laughter and tears … and to have some frosting while she watches.
WHEN: 7:30 p.m. on THURSDAY AUG. 31.
HOW: To sign up (it’s first come, first served), join the Love Letters Discord, and you’ll find the link to sign up for the screening.
* NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Must be age 18+ and a legal U.S. resident. Void where prohibited. For complete giveaway rules and entry instructions, visit https://www.boston.com/rules. Entries accepted until 4 p.m. Eastern Time on August 31, 2023.
This Letter Writer is struggling to embrace singlehood.
"All of a sudden I'm single again and have regressed to 19-year-old me, desperate for romantic connection."
Read the full letter here:
I’m a 28-year-old man. Growing up, I was always a late bloomer when it came to dating and relationships. No successful relationships in high school, but definitely a lot of crushes. Didn't even have my first kiss until college. When…
Today's Letter Writer is smitten.
"While at this wedding, I sat next to a woman and struck up a conversation, and I was blown away by how well we hit it off. The sad part is, to her left was her boyfriend."
Read Meredith Goldstein's advice here ⤵️
Email in your own romance and relationship questions to [email protected] - We're here to help!
I find myself in an odd spot.
This Letter Writer is at a standstill with a work crush.
"His position does have strict boundaries between other colleagues, so I'm wondering if that's why things have not progressed."
Read the full letter here:
I really like this guy at my work. He only comes in once a week and works with our residents at a rehabilitation and nursing home as a licensed clinical social worker. He has positions at a few other places…
This Letter Writer is stuck in the friend zone — at the end of every date.
"I can't help but wonder if I'm doing something that makes people think, 'I'd love to be friends with this person but not date them.'"
Read the full letter here:
I’m a male (30s) who's never been in a relationship and has tried, unsuccessfully, to online date for almost seven years. Most of my dates end with a genuine "let's hang out again as friends." I've made several incredibly close…
This Letter Writer feels fooled by a beach fling.
"I saw a picture of a young girl (a relative?) on his phone. I asked who it was and he said it was none of my business."
Read the full letter here:
I moved to a beach area back in 2020 after the pandemic started because I love the beach. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend/relationship at all. I found a job and started working as a part-time server (I should say:…
This Letter Writer is peeved by her partner's go-to phrase.
"There's an 80 percent chance I'll get 'I see' as a response to most things I say."
Read the full letter: https://loveletters.boston.com/2023/08/his-one-response-i-see.html
This Letter Writer is ignoring warning signs in her relationship.
"There are so many red flags. But why do I think I still love him?"
Read the full letter here:
Why do I still hope he will change and grow someday?
Who can compete with sheep? 🐑
In the latest episode of Love Letters, Anne and Nick tell the most romantic story about how a prenup ensured their future together. But this was before that.
You're going to want to hear about the "guy with the sheep." Listen: http://trib.al/7Bgh1Uo
This Letter Writer is facing an ultimatum from her boyfriend: move within a year, or break up.
"I want to be with him and marry him, but I don't know if I would like this new place."
Read the full letter here:
I’ve been with my boyfriend for eight years. When I first met him, he was going to make a significant move in a month. He said he couldn't leave because he was in love with me and wanted to stay…
This Letter Writer feels like the victim of a twist of fate after a tough breakup.
"Why would the universe show me something so great and then take it away?"
Read the full letter here:
Why would the universe show me something so great and then take it away?
Today's Letter Writer was crushed by a middle school crush.
"I was pushed harshly into a flashback where 12-year-old me was tear-stained, heartbroken, and disappointed."
Read the full letter here:
I had a crush on a boy in 6th grade that lasted more than two years. I was too shy to talk in class, scared of making mistakes, and this boy would get up and answer on the first go…
This Letter Writer is considering turning their friendship into something more.
"Sure, it’s a risk to the friendship – and maybe the friend group – but that’s part of the dating experience," writes
Read:
Recently, Ann (30s), a friend, asked me out on a date. She has never dated or been in a relationship, and takes an idealistic, hard-line stance when it comes to how people in relationships should behave. She judges our friends'…
This Letter Writer is reconsidering her relationship after a difficult period of life.
“It seems like the only way to do this is leave, but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. Will my fiancé let me have a year to think things over?”
Read here:
Years ago, my now-fiancé and I took a chance and moved away to start a life together. We became pregnant, and I wanted the father of my child to be with me and family. Five years after the move, which…
Prenuptial agreements get a bad rap. But there are plenty of people whose marriages have been made stronger by them.
For Anne and Nick, it wasn’t a hedge against their marriage falling apart. It was an important gesture of trust.
💖 Love Letters podcast: https://trib.al/7Bgh1Uo
Today's Letter Writer is starting to feel like a roommate instead of a fiancée.
"Are we not prioritizing romance enough?"
Read the full letter here:
Hi Meredith, My fiancé and I have known each other since we were teenagers but began officially dating about five years ago. We are now approaching 30, living together, and planning our wedding. We have a great, busy life. We…
This Letter Writer knows they're in the wrong:
"I was weird from the beginning. Over nurturing, texting him all the time ... That led him to block me everywhere."
Read the full letter here:
Love Letters is a blog written by Boston Globe columnist Meredith Goldstein about romance problems and relationship advice.
Have some thoughts about Love Letters? Join us on Discord Wednesdays at 2 p.m. to recap this week's episode of the Love Letters Podcast. 💌
"Was I too mean?" is the question on the mind of today's Letter Writer.
After a confusing relationship that was not ideal, they sent a final text and ghosted. But, they gave an explanation.
Read the full letter:
Meredith, I’m an avid listener of Love Letters (the podcast) and wanted to reach out for your advice on my complex romantic situation. I had been involved with a non-monogamous man for a few months, who already has a partner…
In today’s podcast episode, you’ll hear from Anela Malik, a travel and lifestyle influencer who’s used to sharing her experiences. She’s always told her followers a lot about her life – but months ago, she had to share something awful. She explained that her marriage was ending – quite unexpectedly.
Suddenly, Anela realized she was without stuff. Essential stuff. She had to start from scratch. It was overwhelming, emotionally and financially.
Anela’s story is a raw, beautiful, sweet, and unexpectedly hopeful narrative.
Have a listen at the link: https://trib.al/j5t7JwF and wherever you get your podcasts. 🎨: Ally Rzesa/Globe Staff
"I had an affair 21 years ago and have kept in touch with this woman over time. Recently, she informed me she is getting divorced. I've been divorced for more than 10 years."
Letter Writer wants to reunite, but she is currently dating someone.
Read:
I had an affair 21 years ago and have kept in touch with this woman over time. Recently, she informed me she is getting divorced. I've been divorced for more than 10 years. She told me her therapist advised her…
Today's Letter Writer wants advice on dating.
"I am a single lady in my mid-50s and no longer interested in dating someone older than myself."
https://www.boston.com/tease/advice-on-looking-for-younger-men/
In this special episode of Sidebar, Meredith is joined by two of her favorite colleagues, business reporters Diti Kohli and Dana Ge**er, to chat about two things that have long bothered her: the way lease cycles influence relationships, and the financial gap between coupled people and single people.
Is Gen Z moving too fast or just livin' in the moment?
Listen at the link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sidebar-is-gen-z-moving-in-too-fast
and wherever you get your podcasts. 🎨 by Ally Rzesa/Globe Staff.
After a brief holiday break, we return with an intense letter today.
"In short, my husband of 10 years was having a long-term affair with a woman he met in college. I told his girlfriend he was married. Thank you, Facebook."
Read the full letter:
His family doesn't speak to me.
“What’s your sign?” Writer Kara Baskin knew her future-husband/then-stranger’s as soon as she walked into the room:
A Capricorn, just like herself.
Practical and direct — or so the personality reads for her star sign go — Meredith knew Kara could make herself vulnerable about a topic that can be very uncomfortable.
✨ Listen: https://trib.al/HMOPemw
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The star of today’s Love Letters podcast episode is a park bench. I mean, technically it's about people named Jared and Sean, who found love in a seemingly hopeless place ... but the bench’s role is key. Jared was a young man in a terrible place. He was beset by doubt, pain, and overwhelming loneliness when it came to his love life and identity. Just when he needed a sign, he sat on a bench and asked for one. That sign showed up – in the form of Sean, a young man who happened to be walking by. Was it fate, or was it divine intervention, as Jared himself wondered? The episode is all about empathy, humanity, and what wonderful things can happen – even when you’re sure they won’t. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts or at this link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/love-letters/id1354140820 🎨: Ashanti Davis
On the latest episode of Love Letters podcast, Ana wound up finding love in Paris – because that’s what happens in Paris. But … everyone else in Ana's life was still in Mexico. What was she to do? Her story is romantic, relatable, and involves three languages. It's about having to choose between love and family. It's about growing up and making a new kind of life. Listen in at the link: trib.al/JJJ09zs or wherever you get your podcasts. Art is by Ashanti Davis.
In a season all about big changes, the most recent story of Love Letters podcast is about a connection that started young. It follows the story of Mel and Jay, who got close when they were teens but managed to remain important to each other, even as they experienced big changes. Their story is sweet and fascinating and … they are also very funny. Take a listen and meet Mel and Jay at the link: https://trib.al/IhdRABg or wherever you get your podcasts.
Sometimes it takes YEARS for two people to figure out how to be together. In today's episode of the Love Letters podcast, Mel and Jay prove that you CAN meet in high school and be madly in love as adults, as long as you take your time – and are open to big change. The two say they have a rolodex of memories – moments where they remember falling for each other – that led to their happy marriage. Mel and Jay's story has plenty of twists and turns ... and there's lots to learn from them. Listen to the full episode "Still the One" at this link: trib.al/IhdRABg or wherever you get your #podcasts. Illustration by Ashanti Davis.
Happy. Safe. Secure. Loving. These are the qualities Naomi envisioned in her relationship as it began to take the shape of the letter V. Setting boundaries was important to make sure that everyone was feeling respected as they entered a polyamorous agreement. Listen now to the latest episode of Love Letters podcast at the link: trib.al/cvbjo8m or wherever you get your podcasts.
Somerville, Massachusetts is a unique place. It's one of the most densely populated cities in New England. It is home to fluff— the marshmallow-y treat that some people believe is a better replacement than the J in PB&J. It's also the first city in the United States to allow #polyamorous couples to register officially as domestic partnerships. That's a huge deal. Hear how it affected the subject of this week's episode personally at this link https://t.co/3wHTgMDzRk , or wherever you get your #podcasts. #polypride #relationships
In the summer of 2020, Somerville became the first in the US to recognize polyamory through domestic partnership. Today’s podcast episode features the story of a woman who was one of the first to register her two domestic partners. Learn what it means to be “good on paper” — and what it doesn’t. Hear their love story at this link, or wherever you get your podcasts. https://trib.al/cvbjo8m Illustration by Ashanti Davis.
When Michaela rejoined the dating scene, she hit it off with someone who fit into her new schedule as a co-parent — child-free on Thursdays and every other weekend — with ease. But he had trouble coming around to her daughter. “It’s really hard to be half-in-half-out of a kid’s life,” says Meredith. 🔊 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts or at this link: https://trib.al/ycDPaXo. Illustration by Ashanti Davis.
Michaela used to believe in the myth of control that a lot of us buy into. The idea that, if we make the right decisions, we can shape what's coming. But life surprised Michaela with twists and turns — massive shifts she couldn't prevent. Her story is about surviving that change. Adjusting for it. Finding joy in it when you can. Listen to the latest episode of Love Letters podcast at this link: https://trib.al/eCh6U4L or wherever you get your podcasts. 🎧 Illustration by Ashanti Davis.
Michaela dreamed of choosing a future path and following it to a perfect T. She’d find a stable guy, settle down, and start a family. She thought the road to happiness would be a straight line – one she could predict. But as we’re learning on this season of the Love Letters podcast, you can’t always anticipate change – and life can be a very winding and unpredictable road. Michael tells her story as part of our season about BIG CHANGE. Listen to every twist and turn – and how she finds happiness after the worst of it. It’s a story of love, resilience, and letting go of the plan. Listen to the latest episode of Love Letters Podcast at this link, or wherever you get your podcasts. https://trib.al/eCh6U4L Artwork by Ashanti Davis.
Sometimes small notes lead to big changes. In the latest Love Letters podcast episode, Bill sent a pitch Post-It-note-style to his wife Jen: Their palate for European chimney cakes turned into a business. Tune in to stories of life’s big changes this season. 🔊 Listen now wherever you get your #podcasts, or at this link. https://trib.al/2kxdu0d. Illustration is by Ashanti Davis.
Did you listen to the latest Love Letters podcast episode yet? The one where we all imagine ourselves as Diane Liane in "Under the Tuscan Sun" ? Okay, well maybe we don't aaall imagine that, but some do. *cough* Meredith.. Join us on a journey of change this season. 🔊 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, or at this link. https://trib.al/2kxdu0d Illustration is by Ashanti Davis.
When they took a risk starting a new chimney cake venture (Chimney Cakery) , Bill and Jen didn't just do so as business partners. They were married with a child. They say their decision allowed them a chance to see the best in each other. 🔊Listen now to the first episode of Love Letters podcast season 7: https://trib.al/IR9pFEN
At long last, we’re BACK! The Love Letters podcast returns for its seventh season, which dwells on big changes and how they shape our romantic lives. In the first episode, hear the story of Bill and Jen, who did that thing many people fantasize about: They quit their day jobs and built a business from scratch. What has this shift meant for their lives – and for their marriage? Listen now wherever you get your podcasts or by heading to this link: https://trib.al/2kxdu0d Illustration is by Ashanti Davis.
Author Casey McQuiston has a new book – a young adult story called “I Kissed Shara Wheeler,” which was released Tuesday. To mark the occasion, we have a bonus episode of the podcast. Meredith and Casey talked about the new book, and about romance in the real world – and how to notice it. You can listen to the special episode here: https://trib.al/IlRztTM and find Love Letters podcast wherever you listen to your podcasts. 🎧❤️
For the final episode of #LoveLettersPodcast Season 6, we collaborated with This Is Dating podcast to tell the story of Manny, a thirty-something who’s been kinda sorta breaking a big relationship rule for 11 years and counting. The rule? You’ll never get over an ex without making a clean break. Listen to what ––or who–– Manny chooses to never give up on at the link below or wherever you get your podcasts. Grab your headphones, or portable speaker, and settle in: It's a dramatic one. Art by Ashanti Davis. #BreakTheRules #Exes #CleanBreak #NeverGonnaGiveYouUp https://trib.al/VepYgHH
Engaged. Married. Pregnant. New baby. Devin's pandemic group text of friends was full of major life updates. Ones that she couldn't help feel, well... Thirty, flirty and... maybe a little bit jealous? On the most recent episode of Love Letters, we hear from writer Devin Tomb, who is single while her friends are coupled up, engaged, married, or having kids. Where is her "Sex in the City" single friend group of 30-somethings? Listen to #LoveLettersPodcast at the link here: http://bos.gl/iOZzqJR, or find it wherever you get your podcasts. 🎧
When Margaret hit her early 30s, she felt like one of those collectible toys you keep in a box, untouched. She wondered: What was she saving herself for? So, she said yes to a throuple that felt daring and romantic and exhilarating. It turned out to be all of those things and well...listen for yourself at the link or wherever you get your podcasts: https://www.bostonglobe.com/2022/03/01/lifestyle/red-flag-parade/ Can you count all the red flags? 🚩 🎨 Art by Ashanti Davis #LoveLettersPodcast #Throuple #RedFlags
In his family, nearly everybody split up in divorces. So when Ian Coss fell in love himself, understanding these broken commitments became his way of avoiding the same fate. Even when some of his friends caught him off guard, too. Listen now to 'So Long, Splitsville' http://bos.gl/wlledSc. 🔊 Art by Ashanti Davis #LoveLettersPodcast #BreakTheRules #Divorce
From "Art Dad" to…"Graveyard Dad?" In this bonus special episode of #LoveLettersPodcast, Season 2's Erin returns to share some hot girl summer stories with Meredith. Find out more about Erin’s cemetery meet-cute by listening now to "Erin's Hot Girl Summer" wherever you get your podcasts or by clicking the link here: http://bos.gl/3rWeVGI 🔊 #HotGirlSummer #Dating #WeLoveAGraveyardMeetCute 🪦
So, what happened when Meredith reached her hand through the portal and allowed herself to swipe? In the meta final episode of #LoveLettersPodcast Season 5, things got personal and vulnerable. Here's to being open forever. 🖐 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts or by clicking the link here: http://bos.gl/sAESVkf 🔊 #SoundOn #OnlineDating #Vulnerability
Height differences. Okay, how important are they? If a prospective partner lied about his height just a tad on his profile, is that a dealbreaker for you? Nicole confronted it with humor in this episode of #LoveLettersPodcast. Listen now to "The Connecticut Wife" wherever you get your podcasts or by using this link 🔊: https://www.bostonglobe.com/2021/07/13/lifestyle/connecticut-wife/ 🎨 by Ashanti Davis.
Love Letters is a daily dispatch of advice for the lovelorn, courtesy of Columnist Meredith Goldstein. Get advice, give advice, and read the column at loveletters.boston.com.