The Sober Sessions

The Sober Sessions Clean and sober since March 23, 2016. Every sunrise, a new chapter in this journey of overcoming addiction. I'm here to remind you, hope is never lost.
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If you’ve got a pulse, you've got a shot at change. One step at a time, one victory after another. 💜

12/14/2025

You’re going to intimidate people when it’s your time to level up. And that’s not arrogance — that’s physics.

Because growth changes your frequency. When you decide to raise your standards, sharpen your discipline, and stop playing small, the room feels it. You don’t have to say a word. Your silence gets louder. Your consistency gets uncomfortable. Your focus starts exposing things in other people they’ve been avoiding in themselves.

Here’s the part nobody talks about: most people aren’t threatened by who you are — they’re threatened by who you’re becoming. Your evolution becomes a mirror. It reminds them of the promises they made to themselves and never kept. The risks they talked about but never took. The work they knew they should do but kept postponing.

So they’ll label you “different.”
They’ll say you “changed.”
They’ll call you distant, intense, or hard to be around.

What they’re really saying is: your growth makes my comfort feel fragile.

Leveling up disrupts dynamics. People who benefited from the old version of you won’t always celebrate the new one. Not everyone wants you powerful. Some people preferred you accessible, predictable, and easy to manage.

And that’s when the test shows up.

Do you shrink to make others comfortable?
Or do you stand tall and let the room adjust?

Because every real upgrade comes with friction. Every transformation creates resistance. And intimidation is often just the echo of you stepping into alignment with who you were always meant to be.

So don’t apologize for the shift.
Don’t explain the grind.
Don’t dim the light.

If your growth makes some people uncomfortable, that’s confirmation you’re moving in the right direction.

Level up anyway.

— j. anthony |

Let me tell you something I’ve been learning the hard way — because life has a funny way of teaching you lessons you did...
12/14/2025

Let me tell you something I’ve been learning the hard way — because life has a funny way of teaching you lessons you didn’t ask for, at a pace you didn’t choose. And lately, it feels like the lesson on repeat is patience.

Everywhere I turn, life is slowing me down.
Plans that should’ve taken weeks are taking months.
Opportunities I thought were guaranteed are drifting just out of reach.
Dreams I’m ready for seem to be stuck in neutral.

And it’s frustrating.
It’s uncomfortable.
It makes you question yourself — your timing, your direction, and sometimes even your purpose.

But here’s the truth: sometimes when life isn’t moving at your speed, it’s because you’re not meant to sprint through this part. You’re meant to sit in it, feel it, absorb it, and grow inside of it.

Sometimes the delay is the development.

We’re conditioned to want everything right now — success, answers, clarity, healing. But not everything in your life is meant to show up instantly. Some things need time to mature. Some chapters need room to breathe. And some blessings won’t survive if they show up too early.

Think about it:

A seed doesn’t sprout just because you’re staring at the soil.
A muscle doesn’t grow the moment you lift the weight — it grows in the stretch, the strain, the recovery.
Your life is no different. It grows in the waiting.

Patience isn’t passive.
Patience is training.
Patience is God saying, “I’m building something in you that the fast track can’t sustain.”

Yes, it’s challenging.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable.
But the delay isn’t denial — it’s preparation.

So maybe this season is slowing you down because something powerful is lining up for you. Something you’re meant to walk into stronger, wiser, and more grounded than you are right now.

When the timing hits, it will make sense.
When the right door opens, you’ll understand why the others stayed shut.
And when the blessing lands, you’ll know it arrived at the exact moment you were finally ready.

Lean into the patience.
Trust the timing.
Let the process shape you.

— j. anthony |

12/14/2025

We all look at angels and demons through different eyes. And that matters more than people realize.

Because what one person calls an angel, another person might call a threat. What one person labels a demon, someone else might recognize as a lesson that saved their life. Perspective changes everything.

I’ve learned this the hard way. The same experience can either break you or build you, depending on how you’re willing to see it. The same person can be a blessing in one chapter and a warning in the next. The same struggle can look like punishment in the moment and protection years later.

We want life to be simple. Good guys here. Bad guys there. Angels wearing halos. Demons wearing horns. But that’s not how it actually works. Sometimes angels show up disguised as discomfort, truth, or loss. Sometimes demons show up as pleasure, familiarity, or the thing that feels good right now but costs you everything later.

That’s why wisdom isn’t about labeling things fast. It’s about seeing clearly.

Growth teaches you that not everything that feels good is good for you, and not everything that hurts is meant to harm you. Some of the things you once ran from were trying to save you. Some of the things you clung to were quietly destroying you.

And here’s the real shift — as you evolve, your eyes change. What you once tolerated starts to look dangerous. What you once feared starts to look necessary. Angels and demons don’t always change… you do.

So be careful how quickly you judge what shows up in your life. Ask what it’s teaching you. Ask what it’s revealing. Ask who you’re becoming through it.

Because sometimes the angel doesn’t rescue you.
It wakes you up.

And sometimes the demon doesn’t attack you.
It invites you to stay the same.

— j. anthony |

12/14/2025

Let me hit you with something real right out of the gate.

One of the most common survival tactics people use when they don’t want to face themselves is rewriting you. Not the story. Not the situation. You. Because if they can turn you into the villain, they don’t have to sit with the discomfort of what they did.

That’s how it works.

Instead of accountability, they create a narrative. Instead of owning their behavior, they edit your character. Suddenly you’re “too much,” “cold,” “dramatic,” “changed,” “difficult.” Not because you are—but because those labels are easier than saying, I messed up.

This happens when you set boundaries.
When you stop tolerating disrespect.
When you refuse to play the old role they benefited from.

People don’t like mirrors. Mirrors force honesty. And when someone is confronted with the reflection of their own actions, they’ll do anything to shatter the glass—even if that means smearing your name to feel better about themselves.

Here’s the brutal truth: a person who avoids responsibility will always attack the character of the one who exposed it. Not with facts. Not with truth. With stories. With half-truths. With convenient omissions. Because accountability requires courage—and not everyone has it.

And if you’re growing, healing, evolving? Expect this. It’s part of the process. You don’t outgrow people quietly. Growth disrupts comfort. It challenges narratives. It forces people to choose between leveling up or rewriting the past to protect their ego.

So if you notice someone suddenly changing how they talk about you after they hurt you, lied to you, or lost access to you—understand what’s happening. That rewrite isn’t about you. It’s about them trying to outrun responsibility.

Stay grounded. Stay honest. Stay solid.

You don’t need to defend yourself against a story that was written to help someone sleep at night.

— j. anthony |

Imagine this for a second — and really sit with it — imagine if we lived in a world where people loved and supported eac...
12/14/2025

Imagine this for a second — and really sit with it — imagine if we lived in a world where people loved and supported each other for no reason… instead of hating and judging each other for no reason.

Think about how different everything would feel. Not just socially. Not just culturally. But internally — in your chest, in your nervous system, in the way you move through your day.

Because here’s the crazy part: Most of the hate people throw out isn’t rooted in truth. It’s not based on something real you did. It’s based on projections… insecurity… envy… fear… narratives they built in their heads that have nothing to do with who you actually are.

We’ve built a society where people rush to judge before they ever try to understand. Where people celebrate somebody’s downfall faster than they celebrate their growth. Where someone doing well is somehow a threat, and someone struggling is somehow entertainment.

It’s backwards. It’s toxic. And it’s exhausting.

But imagine flipping that.

Imagine a world where people had your name in their mouth because they were praying for you, not gossiping about you. Imagine a world where people clapped when you won, even if they weren’t winning. Imagine a world where someone saw you hurting and actually stepped closer, not further away. Imagine a world where kindness wasn’t conditional, where compassion wasn’t rare, and where love wasn’t seen as weakness.

We talk about wanting a better world — cleaner, safer, more peaceful — but the truth is, that world doesn’t start with laws, politics, or systems.

It starts with how we treat each other. One conversation at a time. One moment of grace at a time. One choice to uplift instead of tear down.

Support costs nothing. Love costs nothing. But the impact? It’s generational.

And here’s the kicker — when you choose love, when you choose support, when you choose to be a light instead of another source of darkness — it doesn’t just transform the people around you. It transforms you.

Imagine if we all did that. Imagine what our families would look like. Our friendships. Our communities. Our world.

It wouldn’t be perfect. But it would be a hell of a lot better than what judgment, ego, and bitterness have built.

It starts with us. Right now. With how we choose to show up.

— j. anthony |

12/14/2025

Sometimes I catch myself thinking about the past, and it almost feels unreal. Like… was that really me? Did I actually live that life? Because the person I am today feels so different that it’s hard to believe I was ever anything else.

There was a time when chaos felt normal. When survival mode was my baseline. When I made decisions from pain, fear, and impulse, not purpose. And back then, I thought that version of me was permanent. I thought that was just who I was. End of story.

But here’s the wild part about being human — we’re not fixed. We’re not finished. We’re not locked into one identity forever.

When you do the work — real work — when you start facing yourself instead of running from yourself, something shifts. Slowly at first. Quietly. No fireworks. Just small choices stacking up. One honest day. One hard conversation. One decision to not go back to what almost destroyed you.

And then one day, you look around and realize… you don’t recognize the old version anymore.

Not because you’re pretending.
Not because you’re hiding it.
But because you outgrew it.

That’s growth. That’s healing. That’s evolution.

And it messes with your head in the best way. Because you start to understand that the past doesn’t define you — it informed you. It shaped you. It taught you. But it doesn’t get to own you.

If you’re in the middle of that transformation right now, let me tell you something: it’s okay if the old version of you feels distant. That doesn’t mean you’re fake. It means you’re free.

You’re allowed to become someone new.
You’re allowed to change your patterns.
You’re allowed to live in a way that finally makes sense to your soul.

And one day, you’ll say it too — “I can’t believe I was ever anything other than who I am now.”

— j. anthony |

If you have the opportunity to do something amazing with your life — something rare, something powerful, something that ...
12/14/2025

If you have the opportunity to do something amazing with your life — something rare, something powerful, something that cracks open a new level of who you are — bring someone with you.

Not because you owe the world anything.
Not because you need validation or applause.
But because greatness becomes hollow if you’re the only one standing on the mountaintop.

We live in a culture obsessed with being “self-made.” Everybody wants to be the lone wolf, the solo warrior, the mythological figure who clawed their way to success without help. But here’s the truth nobody wants to admit:

Climbing alone might feel impressive… but building alone feels empty.

If you’ve been blessed with vision, strength, discipline, resilience — if God handed you a calling that shook you awake at 2 AM — don’t hoard it. Don’t become the kind of person who rises just to look down on everyone still fighting their way up.

Bring someone with you.

Bring the person who believed in you before your life made sense.
Bring the one who prayed for you when you didn’t even believe in yourself.
Bring the ones who are hungry but don’t yet know how powerful they really are.
Bring the ones who are still drowning in doubt because nobody ever told them they could breathe.

That’s leadership. That’s legacy. That’s what flips the script for entire families and generations.

Every one of us remembers the person who extended a hand when we were slipping. And if you’re in a position now where your life is leveling up, where doors are opening, where blessings are stacking — understand this:

You are someone’s lifeline.
You are someone’s proof that it’s possible.
You are someone’s sign from God that the story isn’t over.

So when you rise, don’t rise alone. Rise loud. Rise open. Rise with enough room at your table for someone who just needs one chance, one mentor, one moment of belief.

Because success is cool… but significance — changing someone’s entire trajectory — that’s different. That’s the stuff your soul remembers when the world gets quiet.

If you get the chance to go somewhere incredible, take someone with you. That’s how you turn a personal victory into a collective breakthrough.

— j. anthony |

12/14/2025

Here’s something simple that actually works — and most people won’t do it because it sounds too basic.

When your mind is spiraling, it’s not because you’re weak. It’s because your brain is trying to solve everything at once. It’s holding onto a hundred different “what ifs,” replaying conversations, predicting outcomes, and dragging your nervous system along for the ride.

So slow it down.

Grab a piece of paper. Not your phone. Paper. Write down everything that’s weighing on you. Every fear. Every scenario. Every worry you keep looping at 2 a.m. Get it out of your head and onto something real.

Now look at that list and be brutally honest.

Cross out everything you have zero control over. Other people’s choices. Outcomes you can’t predict. The past. The timing. The opinions. The “maybe this will happen” stuff. All of it.

That’s not your lane.

What’s left on the page is where your power lives. Your actions. Your response. Your effort. Your discipline. Your next right move. That’s it. That’s the whole game.

Mental health improves when you stop trying to carry the weight of the universe and start carrying only what’s actually yours. Worrying about things you can’t control doesn’t make you prepared — it makes you exhausted.

Focus on what you can influence today. Do the work that’s in front of you. Handle the next step, not the entire staircase.

That’s how clarity comes back.
That’s how your mind quiets down.
That’s how you take your power back.

— j. anthony |

I used to think I had a lot of friends. I really believed that. I thought my circle was deep, that I was surrounded by p...
12/14/2025

I used to think I had a lot of friends. I really believed that. I thought my circle was deep, that I was surrounded by people who genuinely cared, people who’d go the distance with me. But the older I got — the more life punched, stretched, and humbled me — the more I realized something that hits harder than any breakup or betrayal:

I didn’t have a lot of friends. I just knew a lot of people.

And that’s a brutal realization, because it forces you to look at relationships without the filter of nostalgia or wishful thinking. It forces you to see who was actually there for you… and who was just around you.

There’s a difference between company and community.
Between someone who shows up and someone who just shows up when it benefits them.
Between someone who claps for your growth and someone who claps because it makes them look supportive.

When you go through hell — addiction, loss, rebuilding your life from ashes — you start noticing patterns. You see who checks in, who disappears, who stands with you when there’s nothing to gain, who drifts the moment you’re no longer “useful.”

That’s when it hits you: the majority of people in your life were never friends… they were spectators.

Some were entertained by your chaos.
Some felt better about their own lives when yours was falling apart.
Some only loved the version of you that didn’t threaten their comfort.
Some just liked having front row seats to your struggle without ever lifting a finger to help.

But the moment you started healing? Evolving? Growing? Suddenly the room got quiet. Suddenly you realized who actually belonged in your life and who just wandered into it.

This isn’t bitterness — this is clarity. This is emotional adulthood. This is the moment you stop confusing proximity with loyalty.

Because friendship isn’t measured by how many people you can call — it’s measured by how many people pick up when your world is falling apart.

And most people? They were never meant to stay. They were just part of the lesson.

So now I move different. My circle’s smaller, tighter, realer. I’d rather have two people who truly love me than twenty who pretend.

I used to think I had a lot of friends.
Now I’m grateful I just know a lot of people — because it showed me exactly who my real ones are.

— j. anthony |

Have you ever really noticed the people who move alone? Not the ones who isolate out of fear — I mean the ones who choos...
12/14/2025

Have you ever really noticed the people who move alone? Not the ones who isolate out of fear — I mean the ones who choose solitude. The ones who walk their own path without needing a crowd behind them. The ones who don’t chase noise, validation, or attention because their peace is worth more than any spotlight.

There’s something different about those people.

They’ve lived enough life — taken enough hits, seen enough betrayal, watched enough masks fall — to know not everyone deserves a seat at their table. So they stop forcing themselves into rooms that drain them. They stop entertaining conversations that spiral into nothing. They stop pretending to enjoy the company of people who don’t truly wish them well.

They don’t gossip because they’ve seen the cost.
They don’t follow crowds because they’ve watched how fast crowds turn.
They don’t play social games because their time and energy actually matter.

And here’s what most people miss: these aren’t antisocial people. They’re intentional.

They protect their energy because it’s sacred.
They guard their mind because they’ve felt what chaos can do when it gets inside.
They choose depth over popularity, truth over comfort, alignment over approval.

And if you ever get close to someone like that — really close — you’ll notice something powerful. They’re some of the most solid, loyal, grounded people you’ll ever meet. Solitude didn’t make them cold. It made them clear.

They’re not avoiding the world.
They’re mastering their world.

So if you prefer being alone at times, stop apologizing for it. It’s not a flaw. It’s evolution.
And if you meet someone wired like this, pay attention.

That’s a person worth knowing deeply.

— j. anthony |

I heard something recently that hit me harder than most of the noise we scroll through every day. Someone said, “When I ...
12/14/2025

I heard something recently that hit me harder than most of the noise we scroll through every day. Someone said, “When I wake up, I pray that God gets in my head before I do.” And man… that stopped me in my tracks.

Think about that for a second. Most of us wake up and immediately step into the battlefield of our own mind. Before our feet even hit the floor, the anxiety is already talking. The doubt is already whispering. The past is already pulling at us. The pressure, the expectations, the old stories we’ve been dragging around for years — they all rush in before we even get a chance to breathe.

But this idea — asking God to get in your head before you do — that’s different. That’s a reset. That’s surrender. That’s saying, “Hey, before my trauma, my insecurities, my memories, or my overthinking take the wheel… let something bigger guide the day.”

It’s powerful because it’s honest. We all know what it’s like when we get in our own heads first. We spiral. We assume. We overanalyze. We replay old mistakes like they’re movie scenes we can’t escape. We start the day already fighting battles that don’t even exist yet.

But when you invite God into that space first?
The whole tone of the day shifts.

You move differently.
You breathe differently.
You respond differently.
You don’t walk into the world trying to survive it — you walk into it already aligned, already grounded, already anchored.

And it’s not about religion. It’s about clarity. It’s about humility. It’s about admitting, “I don’t want to start this day with the same mind that once nearly destroyed me.”

So try it.
Before the thoughts come flooding in, before the world gets loud, before the old you wakes up swinging… ask God to step in first.

Let Him frame the day so you don’t sabotage it before it even begins.

— j. anthony |

12/14/2025

If you keep doing what you’ve always been doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’ve always gotten. That’s not philosophy — that’s reality.

Einstein called insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. And when you really sit with that, it hits you just how many of us are stuck not because life is unfair, but because we keep repeating patterns that never worked in the first place.

You wake up frustrated.
You go to bed frustrated.
And in between?
You run the same script, think the same thoughts, stay around the same people, and tolerate the same nonsense — then wonder why every day feels like a rerun of the last.

Let’s be real: Is that what you want? Hell no.

Nobody chooses to live unhappy, unfulfilled, or stuck on the same loop. And if you’re at a point in your life where you don’t like what you see — then change it.

Not next month.
Not when the stars align.
Not once you “feel ready.”
Right now.

Change happens the moment you decide you’re done repeating the same patterns. It’s when you look in the mirror and admit, “I can’t keep living like this.” That moment — that honesty — is where the shift begins.

Not because your circumstances magically get easier, but because you stop participating in your own suffering. You stop feeding habits that drain you. You stop defending your limitations. You stop letting comfort keep you chained to the familiar.

And you start moving — even if it’s slow, messy, or lonely at first.

Your life will never change by accident.
It changes when you break the pattern, break the cycle, and break the version of yourself that keeps choosing what’s familiar over what’s possible.

If you don’t like the results you’re getting, rewrite the formula.

You’re not stuck — you’re just repeating something you’ve outgrown.

— j. anthony |

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