06/28/2026
The island of Nantucket recently announced the nation’s strictest visitation rules, entirely based on a metric they believe aligns with the island’s values: exceptional credit scores.
Vacationers’ credit reports will be soft pulled upon boarding the Nantucket Ferry, and those not meeting the threshold will be asked loudly to de-board immediately, or be thrown into Buzzards Bay.
“Let’s face it, one of our missions is to keep the island pristine, and having excellent credit scores is the best way we can accomplish this feat,” said board member Wendy Barrington, who was later forced to walk the plank at the ferry landing when her score dipped to 827 after purchasing a lobster roll on credit.
Vacationers with anything under 840 are advised by Nantucket to consider more “monetarily appropriate” vacations, such as the Cape, Martha’s Vineyard, or Water Country.
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✍️ Brisa Sylvestre
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