Mowing Garden Passion

11/03/2025

11/02/2025

AITA For Telling my wife to “be quiet”?
As***le
I (43m) am married to Christy (43f). We have a daughter in eight grade (13f) Ava abd an 9 year old son. All fake names by the way.

Ava has been wanting to go to boarding school for high school for a while now. Since August. There’s nothing going on at her regular school, but she really just wants to try boarding school. She’s done a bunch of research on where she wants to go and stuff like that. Personally, I think that it would be a good thing for her to try, and thought Christy would agree but I guess not.

Christy immediately shut the idea down, and starting talking about “oh she’ll only be around for X more years anyways” and stuff like that. She didn’t entertain the idea of her living at school at all. I thought she was being kind of closed minded, but she didn’t want to hear any of that.

I was getting kind of frustrated trying to argue my point, and Christy just kept talking over me and I told her to “be quiet for one damn second.” She didnt want to stop anymore after that.

AITA? This didn’t happen all that long ago so I want to see if I’m wrong here.

Edit: accidentally put real name in

11/02/2025

AITA I made my sculpture "wrong" so I walked out of class.
Everyone Sucks POO Mode
I'm primarily a textile artist. I'm technically getting a degree in sculpture, but only because my university merged the degree programs, I already hold a degree in ceramic sculpture and have been teaching on and off for the past six years. My instructor for this class is a grad student, the class is teaching wood and metalworking. Hopefully this is enough context? I am also trans and autistic.

Our first assignment is to make a reliquary for an object out of wood. That's the entire prompt, no constraints given other than it must be made out of the provided (compressed sawdust) wood panel. Since this isn't my first rodeo, I'm pushing myself to test the boundaries of sculpture and how I and the viewer interact with it. My immediate thought was creating a sculpture with the intent on burning it and the object it holds. A phoenix works perfectly. I knew I couldn't burn it in class, but I was given the okay to present it, then record the burning and upload it onto our class discussion board.

I created the prototype over the weekend out of cardboard. Because the wood could not be carved, I was going to layer pieces in a similar way to the cardboard and have the wings attached by hinges. The phoenix would hold my old passport in it's beak. Burning the sculpture represents me leaving my old life behind in multiple ways: through me being trans, attempting to move countries, and my artistic voice changing and developing.

I present my prototype, get good feedback, and get to work sketching onto the wooden panel. My instructor then comes up and implies I am doing the assignment incorrectly and will get a lowered grade. He questioned why it wasn't 3D (it is, the wood is layered), why a passport instead of something from my childhood, and where the baby was???? Like how would I have a new one come out of the ashes... The phoenix is representative of my old self, I am the new. I don't understand how he couldn't see this, we spent a good five minutes on just that point.

He finally leaves me so I can continue my work, but most of the class is over at that point. Jump to today, I'm finalizing my sketch and marking cuts. He comes back and starts questioning again why it's a relief and not a sculpture (a relief IS a sculpture) and, at this point, I'm frustrated and done answering questions. Again, we were not given any constraints or instructions other than "reliquary." I defend my work again and then we just.... stare at each other. He wouldn't leave so I gathered my stuff and left the class, dropping it a few minutes after.

I'm probably in the wrong, but this isn't my first time making a sculpture. I know what I want to say and I don't want to compromise that by changing things simply for a grade. I'm planning on transferring to a weaving specific school anyways, so it's not like this will ruin my degree, either. Maybe it's an autistic misunderstanding, but if you wanted me to make a specific sculpture, then tell me that or let me use different materials.

11/02/2025

AITA for exposing my Hub's half-naked Abercrombie & Fitch job?
Not the A-hole
I think this is funny but I'm being called an A-hole.

Parties are me (40F) my Hub (41M) and our son Marc (18M). And visiting friends.

Marc is an all 'round good kid. Decent student, popular, and he is also strikingly handsome. He's a college freshman but he also models some which he has done for about three years. It's legit, he has an agency. Ok not Ford or Wilhelmina but what I'd call a legit "medium tier" agency, and he has done a fair bit of work and made some very decent money, which is helpful all around and we are grateful for that.

A couple of days ago he visited bringing in a proof sheet (is that the term?) for a new magazine ad he is in for a fragrance. It was pretty... racy. Lets just say there was "an absence of being fully dressed" and some rather provocative posing with another model. Frankly I was fine with it, he's an adult, and we're talking GREAT exposure in a national magazine (not a huge one, but still).

Hub, however, was not impressed. He acted like this was positively scandalous, and somewhat admonished Marc for even doing the photo shoot. We happened to have friends (another couple) visiting, Marc was embarrassed at the scolding.

I basically called Hubs a hypocrite. I said "Yeah nothing like when we met and you were working at Abercrombie & Fitch."

Backstory for those not old enough: In the early 2000's A&F hired buff young guys as "brand ambassadors" in their stores, their ENTIRE JOB was to stand around shirtless as greeters at the store doors. That was it. My Hub did that for two years when he was 18-19. His ENTIRE WORK UNIFORM was a pair of A&F jeans and flip flops. Oh, and A&F underwear if it happened to show. Hub did that for almost two years although apparently now thinks he's above it, and doesn't want anyone to know.

After the scolding I of course was OBLIGATED to explain to our visitng frieds how his early career was to stand around half naked and look hot. Oh, and occassionally spray some cologne. Hopefully his spritzer finger didn't get too tired, poor baby.

Hubs called me some unpleasant words.

So, AITA for calling him out? He embarrassed my son, I felt he deserved it.

Edited to fix a couple of crazy typos

EDITED FOR MORE INFO.

For those of you accusing me of stealing from my son (where the heck did that come from) we have never taken one penny from Marc. ALL of his money went into his own account. It was helpful because he was able to do things like buy himself a much much better car than we would have been able to, buy phones and electronics and such, buy more of the clothes he wanted, and use money for college. We even kept paying him an allowance. No thieves here.

There was no full nudity in the cologne ad. How could there be? Yes, mostly undressed but nothing Xr**ed. Nothing wildly salacious, more like "implied." I would say "suggestive." It was racy but nothing you wouldn't see in any copy of Cosmo or GQ or such.

Husband has actually joked many times about his days at A&F. I guess he just wasn't in the mood for it. He didn't scold Marc TOO hard, it was more like "Maybe one day you'll get a job where you can keep your clothes on," which prompted my A&F remark, since that was precisely what he was doing.

11/02/2025

AITA for asking my boyfriend to stay with me until the end of our pedicure instead of leaving halfway through to “get exercise”?
Not the A-hole
My boyfriend and I went to get pedicures together, something we rarely do and I thought would be a nice, low-key couples activity. He finished before me, and I still had about 25–30 minutes left.

Instead of waiting and relaxing, he suddenly said it felt too hot inside and announced that he was going to walk home to “get some exercise,” since his doctor told him to move more. For context, it wasn’t hot outside at all, it was around 70° and really pleasant.

He kept asking if I was okay with him leaving, which made it feel even stranger, like he was waiting for permission to do something he already knew I’d find odd. I told him it was his choice, but I didn’t really understand why he couldn’t just wait.

He ended up walking home, which took about 23 minutes. The whole thing felt off, though, mostly because that just so happened to line up exactly with the time his Discord group (which includes one particular female friend he always seems eager to talk to) usually gets online.

I just found it inconsiderate. We went together, it was supposed to be something shared, and he couldn’t stay 25 more minutes until I was done? It wasn’t like I was getting a massage or a long service. He basically bailed halfway through a date to make it home in time for an online hangout.

My friends said I wasn’t being unreasonable and that it was rude of him to leave like that. But he made me feel like I was overreacting for wanting him to stay until the end.

So, am I the as***le for thinking it was disrespectful and asking him to just wait with me until the pedicure was done?

Common question-earlier that day he said make an appointment for both of us to get a pedicure together at 6 PM. I could tell his anxiety was rising around 7:15 PM and I asked him do you have any plans for today? He said no, but he still needed to leave. He told me it was hot inside the nail salon and that his doctor said he needed to exercise more.

11/02/2025

AITA for cancelling on an old friends wedding & not wanting to pay a fee?
Not the A-hole
I (M29) was in a club back in 2015, and introduced my friend to a girl, they’ve been together since university & it is their wedding today.

I planned to go, had booked a hotel etc even though my partner was not invited and I didn’t know anyone there, but that’s not relevant. I had an important work visitation come up in France all week with an important client, so had to cancel. I know how insanely annoying it is with people cancelling especially weddings late on but I had no option for my future business and will massively help me financially.

He was obviously disappointed, I said can I have their home address so I can send them the wedding gift I had got them (dinner for 2 at the shard in London). He gave it and said by the way, as you’ll be missing the food can you send the money to cover my empty spot, which is £95 Per Head.

I understand it’s annoying I’ve had to cancel and weddings are huge cost, but surely a meal consisting of - Caesar salad - roasted chicken & greens - Bakewell tart for £95 is taking the p**s?!

AITA if I question it or do I just send the money and stop complaining?!

11/02/2025

AITA for not wanting to pay my friend $2K for watching my cat?
Everyone Sucks
Hi, I 26F was deployed for six months. My male coworker who I thought I was friends with agreed to take care of my cat while I was gone. No money was agreed or promised before I left. During the time I paid for her expenses as he told me them. And when I got back I picked her up I gave $300 because I considered this a favor from a friend. They did not like the amount given and wanted $2K. In their words the pet care center (nearest boarder) costs $20/day or $100/week so they should get $10/day because of the effort involved in taking care of my cat. She stayed at their house with their other pet during the time so they didn’t have to travel to take care of her. So AITA for not wanting to pay $2K? I obviously realize now this person is not a friend and I no longer will consider them as such and treat them only as coworker.

11/02/2025

AITA For Asking Why My Co-Worker Wears Makeup Everyday?
Everyone Sucks
Howdy howdy, never posted here, throwaway account, yadda yadda yadda.

So I (29M) was at work during a pretty long meeting with a few other co-workers. One of my co-workers is new (late 30s F) and the conversation steered around our professional experiences and history. Pretty standard I guess.

Midway during reviewing some boring stuff this co-worker asked me with a smirk, « Can I ask you a question ? ». Since we were talking about our professional lives I was like « yeah sure what’s up? », and she followed up with why do you always wear hats?

Now, I’ll be honest I’m bald, however I like my baldness. I started balding at 21 and I was like, f**k that, and just shaved it off instead of trying to style my hair in anyway to hide it. Also since my hair is super curly and compact it just wasn’t gonna be an option. In college people loved it, said I had a good head shape and said I looked like Terry Crews, Shaquille O’Neal or The Rock (not sure about that last one lol) so I was pretty confident with it.

But when I turned 25 I started being mistaken for 30 cause of the bald cut so I started wearing hats pretty much everywhere. Grew a collection for all situations, work, gym, social life. Anywhere besides weddings and funerals tbh. And with hats on at 29 I’ve been mistaken to be as young as 22 (not the goal but yeah). The plan was to wear them until 30 and then cut back when my head matched my age lol

Anyways, this co-worker asks « why do you wear hats everyday? » to be fair it’s a corporate setting but it’s also tech, we’re in marketing and it’s 2025 so smart-casual is the rule of thumb and my bosses don’t care and dress in hoodies and hats to work some days.

I responded « I like hats » and she said « but everyday? », so I said « yeah I’m bald, I like my headshape but I don’t wanna look like I’m 35 so I’ll wear hats for now, plus I look good in them! ». Now I wasn’t thinking and she’s probably around this 35 age or older so I may have offended her with that but she replied « 29 and wearing hats everyday to hide? Wow »

This truck a nerve with me so I responded « Well since joining I’ve seen you wear makeup everyday, even casual Fridays or on your work from home team calls, so why do YOU wear makeup everyday? » there was a muffled giggle but it’s clear the atmosphere was tense.

She got heated and said « that’s a sexist question » and I said « How? Other women in the office don’t wear makeup everyday and my boyfriend sometimes wears makeup when we go out to a high class event. He just doesn’t do it everyday. So why do you wear makeup everyday? »

She got heated and silent and one of the other co-workers went back to focusing on the deck. I feel like her and I not on the best of terms now as she will not talk to me now.

So, AITA for asking why my co-worker wears makeup everyday?

11/02/2025

AITA for ordering weird things in delivery to embarrass my MIL
Not the A-hole
My MIL is visiting our country, she has been here 6 months and will stay another 6 before she is her other daughter's headache.

Me and my girlfriend have been planning on getting married, she is here to help us manage, and we naturally keep ordering a lot of stuff. Most of the things we order are random household stuff, nothing private but I just find it weird that she opens my packages. She also open her own daughter's (my gf) packages. I asked my girlfriend why she does it and she said "1. my mom thinks we are all women here, nothing to hide....2. It's mostly kitchen stuff and she manages the kitchen now so she thinks its hers....3. Whatever she needs we order for her so it comes in our name, she checks if its hers and if its not hers she keeps it in our room."

All of these reasons I didn't understand. She is at home when delivery comes. No need to open the packages right away. Let me get home and check it and if its yours I will hand it to you myself.

To handle this, i told her to not open packages because we need unboxing videos these case in case of damages. That did not stop her. She opened another package saying "i thought it was the mosquito repellent i asked for" (the repellent is a long big can, the package was a dead small jewellery package).

To combat this I started ordering weird stuff- female condoms, weird masks, handcuffs and today finally I ordered a strap on, and i am sure she was dead embarrassed seeing it.

I was having fun laughing at it, she said nothing, it was kept in my room. I told my friends as well, and then my girlfriend came home and I told her. Least to say, she was not happy about it. She said i should not have embarrassed her mom like that, we dont even use a strap on, i should not have humiliated her. Very quick the conversation went to how i am making her feel uninvited and she is a widow and alone and we should be welcoming and caring towards her etc etc. Girlfriend is p**sed, really p**sed.

Okay maybe I went too far. But again, she should not have touched my packages in the first place. AITA?

Edit: off topic but- the people saying "its illegal to open somebody's mail", lol ya'll cute....i'm in a third world country and here even rapists and killing ain't illegal if you got money (hahaha sorry we are miserable here)

11/02/2025

AITA for causing a scene at my in-laws' anniversary dinner over my brother-in-law's racist comments?
Not the A-hole
I (female 30yrs) and my husband ( male 32 yrs) have been married for four years and have a son, soon turning one. We are really close with my husband's older brother, he is really cool and we love hanging out with him. However, I have never really gotten along with his younger brother (let's call him Mark) because, among many other reasons, he has a tendency of putting out racist, sexist or otherwise inappropriate comments. Dare to say, our values and morals simply don't align but over the years I have learnt to bite my tongue and ignore the comments and to act civil around him in family gatherings.

Things have however changed since having a child, as I do not want him to be exposed to this kind of racist talk, especially from an uncle who should act as a role model to our son. I talked to my husband about this issue and asked him to have a discussion with Mark that we do not allow this kind of talk around our child, as we want to raise him to respect people with different ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations etc. My husband agreed and promised to talk to Mark about it, or at the very least, intervene if Mark does this ever again in the presence of our son.

A few days ago we went over to my in-laws' house for their wedding anniversary dinner. Everyone was having a great time up until Mark had had a couple of glasses of wine and begun with his racist slurring yet again (I'll spare you from the details, but let me tell you, it was bad!). I looked over to my husband, expecting him to do or say something but he did nothing, just sipped his wine in silence. I felt this sudden rage and couldn't hold it in any longer and angrily hissed at Mark something along the lines of "Will you shut the f*** up if you have nothing smarter to say?!". The whole room went dead silent and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife, it was so awkward for everyone. We finished our meal quickly and went home as soon as we could, me still boiling inside from anger over the whole situation and how my husband didn't stand up to me against his brother.

Yesterday my husband received an angry text from my mother-in-law, stating I had ruined their anniversary dinner my lashing out at Mark at the table like that. I understand her being upset since the dinner was to celebrate their marriage and the conflict ruined the mood for everyone and now there is this bid drama in the family over what happened. I agree that the timing was not great and that I could have rephrased myself in a more constructive way but at the same time, I could not take it anymore and felt I had to put a stop to it once and for all. So am I the as***le?

P.S English is not my first language, so please forgive me if the grammar isn't always a 100%.

11/02/2025

AITA for using my Aunt’s personal employee discount code to buy clothes?
Everyone Sucks
My aunt (F42) works for a major clothing brand in a senior position. Employees get a personal discount code (hers is usually 50-75% off) that she can use and it varies based on the position. My aunt sent me the code saying “if you need anything, here’s my employee code.”

I was excited because I love the brand and wanted to update my wardrobe and money has been tight with school and all. I ended up buying a decent amount of clothes, probably more than I normally would if I didn’t have the discount.

When she found out how much I purchased, she was angry with me. Now she’s making me feel bad for using it, like I took advantage of her. And I’m feeling guilty. She did send me the code voluntarily and didn’t say there was a limit. But if it’s her own corporate perk, maybe I crossed a line and she could get in trouble.

So AITA for using my aunt’s personal corporate employee discount to stock up on clothes? Or was it fair game since she gave me the code to use?

11/02/2025

AITA for confronting my coworker after doing her a favor that I would not have done if I was given full context?
Not the A-hole
I picked up half of a shift for a co-worker on my day off. We don't work everyday in my field.

She messaged me two days prior asking if I was somehow willing to take the back half of her shift because it was her birthday and she did not want to work on her birthday. She then said that nobody else she asked said yes and I was her last resort.

I felt bad, and accepted to take the part of the shift so that she could get off halfway through her shift and at least enjoy some of her birthday not at work.

I offered her alternatives such as using sick time/pto/getting an attendance point but she did not want to go that route so I regretfully accepted.

For context, it is a pretty tiring job at times and as you could probably tell from nobody else saying yes, people (including me) don't normally want to pick up shifts.

Anyways, the day of comes around. I was leaving and she was supposed to come in and work her front half. She did not show up. I messaged her asking where she was,and she told me she called off the front half using sick time.

Here is where the problem is. I would not have taken the back half of her shift if I knew she would not be working the front half. I only accepted so that she could enjoy some of her birthday not at work. Not get the entire shift off. If I knew she wasnt working the front half I would have rejected her request. Since she could still have plenty of time to enjoy her birthday and then work the back half herself.

I was caught off guard. I felt tricked in a sense, and voiced that to her. She proceeded to say she told me (which she did not) and then say that it was "none of my business" and she does not see the issue. She also said that I offered to take the shift (which I did not) and that I was still helping her out regardless, and it should not matter whether she was able to get the front half off.

I understand what she does outside of work is none of my business and that technically did not affect the shift I was picking up for her. However, I was doing her a favor. I told her the only reason for me picking up the back half of her shift was so that she would be able to enjoy some time of her birthday not at work and be able to celebrate it however she chose.

Our conservation went in circles. Both of us thinking we were in the right. So I ended the conversation as it was going nowhere constructive.

I ended up not making a bigger issue of it and just working the back half of her shift.

I've consulted others and most seem to understand where I am coming from. However, there are a few others that see where she is coming from and that I should not be concerned with the fact she was able to get the front half of her shift, and by extension the whole shift off.

I'm over it to be honest. I decided just to not do her any more favors. What's done is done. However it seems to have upset her and her roomate (someone I work everyday shift). I am curious about other people's perspective on the matter.