11/13/2025
Former high school heartthrob and star linebacker, Dwayne’s glory days may be behind him, but his confidence (and hair gel) remain fully intact. Now a divorced father of three, he’s “just looking for something casual” — mostly because his lawyer said it’s safer that way.
When he’s not running his convenience stores or collecting rent from his questionably-run apartment complex, you can find him shouting at the TV during NASCAR or betting what’s left after child support on the horse races.
Dwayne ends most nights in his garage with a six-pack and instrumental electric guitar blaring through his speakers.
The IRS may be on his tail, but so are the ladies (and his ex-wife’s lawyer).