The Midlife Mess Podcast

06/05/2026

I started this "Burn the Haystack" dating experiment thinking I was looking for a man...Instead, I ended up questioning my entire generation. 😅

After reading Burn the Haystack by Dr. Jennie Young, and jumping back on Bumble, I burned a LOT of hay...No needles were found.

But I did find A LOT of questions I can't stop thinking about:

What if women in midlife are caught between two completely different stories?

We were raised on Disney princesses and Prince Charming.

Then we were told:

✨ Get the degree -✨ Build the career -✨ Buy the house -✨ Never depend on a man.

So now we're independent enough not to settle...but still human enough to want love.

And honestly?

I think that's where so many of us are stuck.

This episode is about:

💭 intuition vs. overthinking
💭 why dating apps feel productive even when they're not
💭 wanting partnership without wanting dependence
💭 the difference between being rescued and being supported
💭 why "I can do it myself" and "I'm tired of doing it all myself" can both be true

And maybe my biggest realization: You don't have to be one thing.

You can be strong and soft.
Independent and hopeful.
Capable and still want to be cared for.

🎙️ New episode of The Midlife Mess is out now. Link in comments.

Question for you:

Do you think our generation got caught between two completely different versions of womanhood?

05/21/2026

You know how people are always saying that finding true love is like finding a needle in a haystack?

Well, guess how you actually do that? You BURN the haystack down! 🔥

I just finished reading the book, Burn the Haystack. In it Dr. Jennie Young explains how the language people chose can help you decode whether they are a 🚩or not, and how this can help you actually get to the needles!

In this episode we talk about:

* why language matters in dating
* coded phrases on dating profiles
* why “fluent in sarcasm” is a red flag now
* how online dating is more like a job search than ordering takeout
* and why your intuition might actually be pattern recognition

If you’ve ever:
✨ ignored your gut
✨ overexplained bad behavior
✨ confused anxiety with chemistry
✨ stayed for “potential”
✨ or wondered if you’re “too picky”…

this episode is for you.

And yes, I’ll report back on whether I actually find any needles. 😂

🎙️ New episode of The Midlife Mess out now. Link to listen in the comments. 😘

05/13/2026

It's Wednesday, and I wish I was publishing an episode today, but I'm still working on it......AND y'all, it's going to be a good one!

Have you heard of the Burn the Haystack dating method?

I'll publish ASAP, but in the meantime catch up on the other 19 episodes if you haven't already...link to show in the comments.

Thanks, y'all!

04/30/2026

Heard of Jay Shetty's, The 8 Rules of Love? Here's my midlife take... (episode link in the comments).

04/16/2026

This episode is a real roller coaster.

I’m talking about spring break comparison, friendship mistakes, missing someone I should probably be over, a sweet trip with my daughter, and the heartbreaking loss of a teenager in my community.

It’s about motherhood, grief, guilt, healing, and trying to hold joy and heartbreak at the same time.

Basically… midlife mess in its purest form.

If you’ve ever felt like life was giving you beautiful moments and devastating ones all in the same breath, this one is for you.

🎧 Episode 18 is out now.

This episode includes discussion of su***de and grief. If you or someone you love is struggling, you’re not alone. You can call or text 988 in the U.S. for support.

Podcast Episode · The Midlife Mess · April 16 · 48m

04/01/2026

New episode: Burner Phone, Who Dis?

This week I’m talking about something that happened to me recently that was uncomfortable, frustrating, and honestly made me think a lot about men, women, power, shame, and just existing as a woman in the world.

I have a feeling every woman will understand this episode immediately… and I think every man should listen to it too.

Not a man-bashing episode.
A reality episode.

🎙️ The Midlife Mess – new episode out now. Link in comments.

03/28/2026

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2424036/episodes/18918441-episode-16-you-are-not-stuck-with-your-attachment-style

Attachment theory explains so much about dating, relationships, and why some people make us feel calm while others make us feel completely unregulated.

In this episode, I’m talking about anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment — but more importantly, how we actually move toward becoming more secure in our relationships.

Inspired by Dr. Amir Levine’s books Attached and Secure, this episode is about understanding your patterns, recognizing emotional safety, and learning that love does not have to feel confusing to be real.

If you’re curious about your attachment style, I'll put a link to an assessment quiz in the comments.

What attachment style do you think you are? Take the quiz and let me know if your result was surprising.

This week, I’m talking about attachment theory — one of the psychology topics that has fascinated me for years, both from studying psychology in college and from living through enough relationships to know this stuff gets very real very fast.Inspi...

03/04/2026

This episode is not glamorous. It’s not empowering. It’s not a “5 steps to find love” situation.

It’s just me… on a quiet Saturday night, without my daughter, without plans, feeling the loudness of loneliness.

I talk a lot about growth and mindset and being positive. But the truth is, midlife has valleys. And sometimes they hit on weekends when everyone else seems coupled up and busy.

I’ve done the apps. I’ve done the therapy. I’ve done the “work.”
And sometimes I still sit there and wonder, “Is it just not going to happen for me?”

That’s what this episode is.

Not a pity party. Not a breakdown.
J
ust honesty.

If you’ve ever felt the silence get loud… this one’s for you.

🎙 Episode 13 is live.

Be your best mess.

02/25/2026

Y’all my wagon is draggin’…it’s been a really busy week so I haven’t been able to record a new episode yet…I’ll get episode 13 out ASAP! 🤪😘

02/18/2026

Charleston episode is LIVE 🌴✨

I’ve lived here for 11 years, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned… visiting Charleston and living in Charleston are two totally different experiences.

In today’s episode I’m giving you the real Charleston:
🏡 neighborhood vibes (downtown, West Ashley, Mount Pleasant, Park Circle, Daniel Island, Summerville + more)
🏖 beach personalities (yes, Folly is my favorite 😅)
🚗 growth pains (traffic + housing costs)
🎒 the “where are the good schools?” question + what “school choice” actually means here
💛 and why I still feel so grateful I chose this city

If you’re thinking about moving here—or you know someone who is—send them this episode!

What part of Charleston do you want me to do a deeper dive on next: Downtown, West Ashley, Mount Pleasant, Daniel Island, Folly/IOP/Sullivan’s, Johns Island, or Summerville?



Listen Here...

Charleston has been ranked a top travel city for years — but visiting and living here are two totally different experiences. In this episode, Lara shares why she chose Charleston, what surprised her after moving from the DC area, and how each part...