04/12/2025
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1GhnSB2uoF/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Dear Dancers ~ Middle Eastern funeral etiquette: during the early days & weeks of a ones funeral, I don’t think it’s appropriate to post photos in our bellydance costumes on the page of one who has passed. I think it’s better to wait a little bit and post such an image at later times. It is for respect to the family and their community. When considered ones actions/etiquette within the Middle Eastern community, you have to consider the COLLECTIVE as WHOLE. You can't just conduct yourself based on any other teachers girl power opinion (even if that teacher could also be of the culture. Being of the culture still comes with different lived experiences, values and experiences) Especially, when it comes to serious matters such as ones passing. In these matters, majority of us are conservative and behave accordingly be it online or offline. And you can quote me on all that.
Being raised in the Middle Eastern community, as a Middle Eastern Greek woman, who is also a Christian Greek Orthodox… I understand and respect the time and place for many things. Especially when it comes to religion. Despite being a Christian, I respect ALL religions. In also a Reiki Master & energy practitioner in other modalities. Yes. I can and am involved in anytging that bring peace, harmony and love. Yes, i have a happy balance as a Christian and Lightworker.
Now, the atheists and especially the Middle Eastern dancers who are raised more westernized, or are born to a white or non middle eastern parent, have a totally different upbringing. They are much more open minded and didn’t have to fully struggle with things that others deal with raised IN the community by both parents… not just visting our country of origin few times a year. Or being raised in tge white suburbs. IN the community …. Different reality. Different expectations. Different experiences. Some will probably say OH MY GOD ~ DANCER SHAMING! Honestly, it’s getting a bit old. There are customs and traditions that need to be understood and shared with respect to others. It’s NOT all always about us and our feelings and our empowerment feelings as dancers. A good cultural educator needs to discuss ettiquette. Etiquette isnt just how to sit, walk and fine dining.
If you don’t know your cultural ettiquette, thats one thing. If you’re a rebel, thats another thing. I have gone against many cultural norms but also I respect. I once inter married. Im an energy practitioner/lightworker/ hypnotist /ancestral communicator /bellydancer etc…. Ya. Pretty put of the box for my traditional family (despite also coming from a famoly line of healers). Im not going to walk into my church with crystals and sage 🤣😂🤣 but why not? Girl power! Free world! I do what I want. Mmmmm no.
Respect and religion has to be in place. Would you show up at the church or mosque and start dancing inside there? For example? But why not? OMG, sister hood we must all stand together and do what ever our hearts desire! What a shame. What shame. Who ever says I can’t do anything I want, whenever I want is such a policing, misogynistic shamer. Im an empowered woman, yay bellydance ~ my mega super power! If this post triggers you and you disagree… then wow! Remember, to anyone triggered, it’s not about you. It’s not about your freedom of choice.
No. At some point, we need to put “our women empowerment” aside and understand that it’s important to also teach to western dancers, etiquette in our middle eastern cultures. And respect to other people’s families. Culture is culture. Community is community. Just like there is bellydance community, there is Middle Eastern people community and we comfyct ourselves accordingly. If youre not part of our native community, then I guess you don’t know.
I even know so many western dancers married to Middle Eastern men (and musicians) and they dont even barely honor some traditions within the culture, be it for funerals or holidays. Especially if your a dancer, its your job to respect the family you marry into. Specifically for certain traditions. You can just choose to bellydance & folk dance & throw the rest away. Ohhhhh but it’s all about me. Me, me, me, me, me. If you don’t have a culture and chose to be disconnected. Ok. Your choice. Otherwise it’s SO selfish. Posting about Middle Eastern politics & debating is one thing. Dancing at middle eastern venues & parties is one thing. Posting a solidarity flag is one thing. What are you doing for your family if youre married into our culture?
I’m not a nun. Neither in my social media, neither in my content, neither in my costume choices as performing artists etc. I’m all about sexy ~ embrace your body, on and off the stage. BUT! There is a time AND place for everything. I would have loved to DM a dancer and tell her, but now a days, seeing everyone is so sensitive I decided not to. As I found it important to mention this so others can learn too.
P.s.
A family member might tell you, oh it’s ok. Don’t worry. Yes we say that but more in the lines of ohhhhh haram, oh dear this person doesn’t know. If you follow and read my posts, now you know 💙🧿🪬 Iv seeing MANY do this. Please do better.
*this post addresses few things. Enjoy and do better!
If any super woke, fellow native MENAHT/SWANAHT dancer gets offended, reality check ~ it’s not always about you. There is life and whole other community and world outside the Bellydance La La glittery delulu sparkly land. I enjoy that delulu land too! Stick to the stage chit chat and other cultural educators like myself will gladly address true ettiquette and manners within our cultural spaces.
* I’m very aware my posts inspire dialogue and for others to repackage my writing. Welcome. Just kindly give me credit. This post will be re-polished and elaborated on my website, once it’s up and running. I’m a Diaspora Life Coach and cultural etiquette is part of my services. Culture and respect to Indegenous people traditions is a big part of what I do. I’m here for those uncomfortable conversations and cultural understanding. I’m not trying to sell you dance events & seminars while pumping you up & telling you to only care about yourself and your own empowerment. Thats all great, but culture exists Off stage too and it’s a whole other world. I won’t sweep things under the rug. I don’t push western I don’t care type attitude ~ into Middle Eastern family type values… or other Indegenous values. I have nearly 30 years in the dance industry (aside from upbringing). I’m available for podcast bookings, guest writing, seminars and more. Just reach out 💙
DM me here: Παναγιωτα Συμεωνιδου Μπ
My coaching page ~ Diaspora Life Coach
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