07/07/2023
Happy Fathered Day
Imagine listening to grown men brag about making women pregnant. Unfortunately, Iโve witnessed this notches-on-a-gun belt mentality many times in the Hood during my career as a street activist.
We have all heard Fathers talk up their childrenโs accomplishments in school and other walks of life. Feels good to be proud. But self-deception is rampant among those living in a world of drugs and gangs. They want to feel proud too. Some hang their hat on being a man because they can fight and the number of women they have known. Even harder to understand is some women look up to these guys for the same reasons.
Iโve heard the lost brag on street corners. At times, itโs subtle, or it can be outright chest-thumping, but the common denominator is the lack of financial help or any help for mother and child. You know, Dad stuff.
Once I listened to drug dealer Frank, just back from partying in Vegas, talk about eleven kids sired. I could see it in his eyes. Frank thought he was King Stud.
I could not let this twisted logic go, but I had to be careful. There are certain people you do not want mad at you. The answer? I played a dumb geek thatโs not from the Neighborhood. โYou have eleven kids? I could never remember all of their names! Me! Trying to remember eleven birthdays? Forget about it.โ
Iโm pretty good at playing a geek. I threw in a few more lines about Christmas gifts, homework, and bills and knew I had made my point, and Frank stopped feeling proud.
That encounter took place over ten years ago. By now, some of Frankโs kids are probably making kids. I know another man with eleven and many women with two to six. Iโve watched many grandparents struggle to raise abandoned children.
Angry at the deadbeats? Most of them are from single-family homes too. The dysfunction caused by the absence of Fathers has wreaked havoc on some families for three and four generations.
What can you do? The battle is for hearts and minds. Should a situation present itself, accept the challenge and mentor someone who needs it. Find and support organizations with boots on the ground working to make a difference. Iโve personally witnessed families being united and healed. Watching a grown man with tears in his eyes for the right reasons sure beats hearing him brag.
Happy Father's Day.